Monday, December 04, 2006
LIFE - Mind Of A Mankind - Chapter Nine
MARGARITA
Come and hold my hand
I want to contact the living
The opening lyrics of ' I Can Feel ' by Robbie Williams
In late March 1993, Yani and I were in Jakarta. We were there until middle of June 1993. We needed to have some cash to set up a small business in Bali. Yani sold her jewelries, the house furnitures and other items; and the little house in Jakarta.
We stayed in a small hotel called Hotel Danau Toba in the district of Jatinegara, south of Jakarta. I know the name of the hotel may sound a misnomer to you because Lake Toba is located in Sumatra but the hotel name is authentic. In front of that small hotel, there was a church. While staying there, I met three spirits from the unseen world without Yani's knowledge.
One afternoon after Yani had completed her afternoon prayer, she told me that she heard a voice. Yani became a Muslim again after she met me and naturally she would try to follow the religious precepts of Islam again. After she had completed her afternoon prayer that day, she had actually questioned herself within her heart whether her manner of praying was correct. She told me that she had said something like this within her heart, "I wonder whether my manner of praying is correct?' Immediately after that she heard a male voice replied to her, ' Yes, correct. Your prayer is correct.' I thought to myself that maybe she was imagining and took it as a passing statement from her.
One evening, while she was praying, I was sitting on a stool in front of her about three metres away observing her. She had completed her evening prayer and while she was still sitting crossed legs on the praying mattress, praying for Allah's Blessing with her face downcast looking at her open palms, suddenly she looked up at me and smiled very sweetly for a few seconds. Then she downcasted her face again. There was something different about her expressions, especially, about her smile. I never saw her smiled in that manner before. When I saw that, I felt goose bumps all over my body. It was unusual for me to feel that way while observing her praying. I immediately rush towards her and sat in front of her. Then I questioned her strictly and looked at her straight in the eyes.
"Who are you?"
"Huh..What is it?" she responded with surprised.
"Who are you?" I questioned her again.
"What are you talking about. What's wrong with you", she replied with a smile.
"I repeated my questioned again, "Who are you?"
"I'm Yani. What's wrong with you?" she answered.
"Don't lie to me. You're not Yani. Who are you?" I said firmly again.
"Yani! I'm Yani! This is Yani! She replied and staring at me angrily.
At this point, she closed her eyes as though she was like going to faint but I hold her by the shoulders and shook her. She opened her eyes again.
"Who are you?" I firmly questioned her again.
She ignored my questioned, closed her eyes again and about to faint again. I shook her again and she opened her eyes again. She was annoyed and stared at me with fierce expressions on her face.
"Who are you?" I persisted further.
"When you're angry with your wife, please do not grip the back of her neck with your hand. She feels painful."
She spoke with firmness and strict toned. She looked at me directly into my eyes. She was very angry with me. Then she closed her eyes and she sort of like going to sleep. Her body slanted slightly on the right hand side of her body, maintaining still in her crossed legs sitting position on the praying mattress.
When she had replied to me in that anger manner, I was sort of surprised and I felt ashamed too. Her statement was justified because sometimes when Yani was stubborn and angry with me, I would use my right hand to grip her by the back of her neck to release my anger towards her. So, when I heard her siad that, I did not stopped her and I let her go.
I sat on the bed nearby and for about fifteen seconds she closed her eyes then opened her eyes again. When Yani saw me sitting on the bed, she smiled at me and she did not asked me anything. Yani's usual smile expression was different from the earlier one that I had seen and had encountered. I was certain that personality that I had encountered was not Yani. Yani even did not asked me whether there was something wrong with me or about my interrogation. She was oblivious as though nothing had happened. I looked at her and remain reticent. I kept quiet about it and I did not query Yani anymore with my curiosity.
The next day I thought about the incident the whole day and I observed Yani very carefully. Evening came and while she was doing her evening prayer nothing happened.
Later, while we were sitting in our room talking about general things and then suddenly, Yani became quiet. She was like gazing into empty space as though she was thinking of something and her mind seemed so far away. I saw it, observed her for a few seconds, then touched her hands, shook it lightly and she seemed shocked when I did that. Then I asked her whether she was alright. She looked at me, nodded that she was alright but remained silent and then turned her face slightly to another direction. She started to gaze again like looking something at a distant. I let her be and observed her. A few seconds later she turned to me, smiled at me sweetly like I had seen the day before. She said "Hello" to me and I replied vice versa. I knew I was not conversing to Yani's personality. It was someone else. When I enquired for her name she smiled sweetly at me and said, "My name is Margarita."
Margarita told me that she was seventeen years old and she met Yani while Yani was working at Hailai Executive Nightclub at Ancol, Jakarta in 1992. She described Yani as a naive and silly girl but sympathised with her because Yani had commitments for her family at the village. She came to Yani again when she found out from her friends in the spirit world that Yani was in Jakarta again.
Margarita told me that her mother was good in spiritual matters and she was helping some humans for spiritual healing matters. Margarita's mother disallowed her to know about her work. Margarita's mother was a Muslim Djinn or Spirit and Margarita herself was a Muslim Djinn.
Margarita's father was formerly a Christian Spirit but then he became a Muslim later. She told me that her father had a large trading business and they were very wealthy in the spirit world. They lived in a big house with swimming pool. She was the only child and daughter in her family.
She told me that she had a maroon Toyota Corolla car and she had a driver to her disposal. She told me that the cars in her world could go through any solid matters.
Margarita loved to disco at Hailai and she loved to drink too.
I was smoking while talking to her then she asked me for a cigarette. Yani did not smoke but Margarita was a smoker. She smoked expertly without any coughed.
I asked her whether I could see and meet her personally besides via my wife's body by materialising herself before me or perhaps meeting me in my dream. She mentioned that if I saw her, I would fall madly in love with her and if I saw her world, I would not want to return to my own world again.
She told me that in her world they could transform themselves into animals, for instance, like a bird.
Once, she suddenly stopped talking in the middle of our conversation, as though she was thinking or concentrating about something else. When I intervened she ' Shsss..' at me with her fore finger upon her lips. After about a minute later, she told me that she was communicating with her driver who was waiting for her outside. She said that in her world they could communicate with one another with their thoughts. I was surprised with her explanation, which I never thought that I would actually hear from someone or a spirit that possessed a human physical body, who would tell me that to me. I was ignorant about the subject of telepathy at that time.
Margarita told me that when the physical world was day time, her world would be night time and when the physical world was night time, her world would be day time.
She told me that she knew about Yani's and my problems but she could not do anything about it because she was not a spirit that had special powers or knowledge; but her mother possessed that ability. She did not want her parents to know that she was meeting a human being. In fact, she had asked her friends in her world to teach her about the method of meeting humans because she did not know the method.
She said that she had been watching Yani and I for quite awhile without our knowledge. So when she managed to meet me, she was quite happy because she never met a man like me before. She said that she liked to converse with me because I talked to her like a friend. She advised me, "We need to be patience and tolerance to win", which she meant was pertaining to our difficulties of the house's sale transaction matters in Jakarta. She knew that we relied on someone, a middleman, for the business transaction to be completed.
That night we talked for a long time, several hours in fact, about many things but she needed to return to her home in the spirit world before her parents looked for her. She said she would come back to meet me everyday and if I thought about her, she could feel it and she would know about it. She warned me not to tell Yani about her and our meeting. She would not meet me again if I talked to Yani about it. She made me promised to her that I would honour it. And I did as she requested. Then she bid goodnight and she remained silent, gazing into empty space just like Yani did prior to Margarita's appearance. I observed for awhile about one minute, then I shook Yani's hands lightly. Yani was shocked when I did that. Then she told me that she was tired and immediately went to sleep.
I did not sleep well that night because I was wondering about the conversation I had with Margarita. Yani and Margarita were so different in characters and intellect. Yani was more like a child and she was still immature even though she was already twenty years old, whereas Margarita was matured and lady like with a personality that would enthrall, enthuse and entice a person to listen. I felt pleased and happy of our meeting because I was talking to a young spirit woman from the spirit realm personally, which I had never encountered before in my life. I was talking to her like I was conversing to any ordinary human being or more like a girlfriend. That was the beginning of our human and spirit relationship.
As she had assured me, she met me everyday without the knowledge of my wife. Sometimes she came in the morning, at noon, in the evening and at night. She told me that sometimes, she stayed overnight together with Yani and I. She said she listened to our conversation and she also listened to our thoughts. She would actually know about our thoughts and emotions too. She said that she loved to be near us because we became like her own friends or family. And Margarita and I became very closed.
We talked about my first wife Noorasmah in Singapore and she queried me about my feelings for Noorasmah. We talked about Yani too. We joked with each other and we ate together. Though I had a lot of worries when I was in Jakarta, she became my closed companion and she gave me encouragement to face the obstacles with a positive attitude. She began to meet me a couple of times in a day and I had begun to think about her more often in my mind. Yani's image in my mind became further away and I always wondered about the beauty of Margarita because I heard from Malay people who mentioned that female Djinns or Spirits in the unseen world were all beautiful if compared to human females. My mind began to imagine about her youth and beauty. I really wanted to meet her personally but she never came to my dream to meet me.
My obsession with Margarita grew as time passed and Margarita too seemed to be obsessed with me. I began to wish more for Margarita's companionship than to my own wife, Yani. We were compatible to each other and we were actually becoming like a couple in courtships. We began to feel affectionate for each other and we were actually falling in love.
I want to be truthful to you about this story of mine and I know you are wondering whether all this was a fantasy of my own imagination. It was not my imagination. It happened truly and I am aware of this story still because it happened and it is a mark in my conscience that will remain for the rest of my life. I hope you forgive me for narrating this story to you. It sounds crazy, disgusting but it really happened.
Margarita and I became intimate and whenever she stayed overnight, we would do hanky-panky but I would always controlled myself from having sex with her because we were two different beings and we were also not "married". We had to overcome our lust and she too knew that we were unsupposed to commit that sinful act. She became very attached to me and she often stayed overnight with me, due to this reason and I did not mind at all.
I was like a man who had no scruples and conscience though I was married to Yani. Each time when Yani went to sleep, Margarita would come to take over Yani's body. Whenever she came to possess Yani's body while she was asleep, Yani saw Margarita and Yani would scorn at her for meeting her always, over and over again. I watched and listened to Yani's reactions and scorned words while she was sleeping. Yani would speak like this to Margarita in her sleep.
"Who are you?"
"What you want from me?"
"What! You want to borrow my body to meet my husband!"
"Why you want to meet my husband!"
"Go away! And don't come near me again"
"Always you! Always must be you! Why must you always come to me."
"Go away! You bitch! I don't want to see you again understand!"
"Why! You again!. Always must be you. Always must be you. I hate you. Go away!"
No matter what Yani had said to Margarita and scorned at her, and no matter how obstinate Yani had been towards Margarita, Margarita had always managed to possess Yani's body to meet me.
Once, when Margarita had refused to go away from Yani, Yani had actually went to the bathroom, took a small pail of water, threw it at Margarita, scorned her to go away while she was totally asleep and with her eyes completed closed tight. She did not even tripped and fell down. She could actually walked to the bathroom without any difficulties as though she was awake. It was like somnambulism. But once Margarita took controlled of Yani's body, my wife would be soundly asleep. When I asked Margarita where was my wife, she pointed me to the place on the sleeping pillow, right next to her head, "There she is, sleeping soundly like a baby. Her (Soul) light is dimmed now. That means she's sleeping."
Once I asked Yani what she had dreamt last night. She said that she saw a young woman in black mini-dress with shoulder length hair. She wore high heel shoes. She wore gold rings on every finger and she wore gold bangles on both hands up to her elbows. When I asked her what this young woman really looked like; whether it was fair or dark skin, short or tall, slim or fat, ugly or pretty; Yani could not recall. I was anxious and eager to know how Margarita's appearance looked like.
Once Margarita had told me about her problem with a male Spirit in her world. Her father had a business partner and her father had wished that she be married to his business partner's son. Margarita and her father's business partner's son were already engaged and due to be married in the future, but she disliked her fiance.
Each time when her fiance visited her house, without her father's knowledge, her fiance would sneak up to her room and he tried to do something bad to her. She could not inform her father because her father trusted and loved her fiance like a son.
She asked me what she should do to stop him from doing something bad to her. I told her to lock her bedroom door but she said that she had done that but he always managed to enter her room because he had the door key to her bedroom. So I told her that she should lock her bedroom door and put a chair against the doorknob so that he could not open the door. She told me that she had done that too and he still could enter her bedroom while she was asleep. I told her that if I could help her I would but it was up to her whether she should inform her father or not.
I was actually angry and perhaps jealous too, when I heard her story. So I told her that if I managed to meet up with her fiance, I would give him hell although it was none of my business. After that she never mentioned to me about her fiance anymore.
What I am going to write here is not good. In fact it is repugnance. But it is the truth and you want to know the true story about Margarita and I.
One night, Margarita and I were succumbed to our lust. Before that happened, I had informed her that we needed to be 'married' first. She agreed to my suggestion and she told me that she would call for witnesses to our solemnisation. She told me to lie down next to her and held her hand. We held hands and she closed her eyes. Then we waited and I was wondering of what was going to happen to us. Then suddenly she took a deep sharp breath as though a sudden breeze of wind had gone into her nostrils. We remained in a reposed position for about fifteen minutes, then she opened her eyes and she said it was completed. There were three witnesses from her spirit world. We were already 'husband' and 'wife', then we consummated our marriage.
I need to let you know that I was actually feeling very awkward making love to her with Yani's physical body but it was not Yani. What happened? It was as though I was attracted to a beautiful female alien from outer space and subconsciously I wanted to know what it would be like to have a female companion from another world beside my own world. It was a stupid thing to do and usually this kind of thing happened due to our own desires. I felt guilty after that and I hated myself for getting involved with Margarita. I had cheated on Yani and I supposedly had a third 'wife' in the spirit world.
After our 'marriage', Yani began to ask me whether I knew anyone by the name of Rita. I lied to her that I had never known a woman by that name. At one time, she was so adamant until she suspected that I had an affair with another woman behind her back. I reason with her that I was always near her and how was I going to have an affair with another woman. She accepted my explanation. Then I queried her why she had suspected that I had an extra marital relationship. She told me that she heard a male voice numerous times advising her about taking good care of her own husband and there was a woman by the name of Mbak Rita that was seeing me without her knowledge. I told her that she was talking nonsense and she was imagining all that up in her mind. I kept silent about it and we never talked about it anymore.
I asked Margarita about her 'wedding' rings since we were married. She told me that she would try to do something about it. I did not know how she was going to get her 'wedding' ring.
One day Margarita asked me about something, which I thought was quite puzzling too. She had asked me whether the dead human corpse would be alive again should she go into the dead human physical body. I did not know how to react or answer her but I just told her it was not possible.
Margarita and I often ate together and I noticed that the manner she ate was quite strange but I just ignored it. I did not mentioned or asked her about it. When she ate anything, there would be a clap..clap..clap sounds as she chewed her food.
Many times she told me to keep quiet because she somehow another knew that someone was listening or peeping us from outside our room. We kept quiet for awhile then she would say it was nothing except that somebody was listening to us. One early morning, while we were awake and talking, suddenly she informed me that there was a Peeping Tom outside our room. I saw nothing but she did. We opened the room door and rushed outside to see who it was. There was this middle age man who suddenly approached us from a nearby room and he had queried us what was the matter. We told him that there was a Peeping Tom outside our room and he anxiously volunteered to look for that Peeping Tom. He quickly went out of the hotel premises to look for that Peeping Tom. The strangest thing was that we had never seen him around the hotel before and then my intuition told me that he was that Peeping Tom but he had pretended to be a good Samaritan just to escape from us. We told the hotel management about it and from that day onward, there was nobody trying to peep into our room or other guests' room.
Many times Margarita had invited me to follow her back to her world but she mentioned to me that if I agreed to her invitation, she would call someone from her world to do that task because she did not know the method of doing that task. When that happened, I would be dead in my world but I would still be alive in her world. She said to me that she would be there in her world to wait and invite me personally should I wish to follow her. She sometimes insisted and persisted me to follow her but I had always told her that my duties in my own world was not completed yet. I did not want to see Yani in difficulties. She did not force me but she always persuaded me and she told me that I could help her father's business.
Once I was willing to follow her because I felt tired of living a life of a fugitive. We held hands lying next to each other in bed and I was afraid of death. She closed her eyes for a few minutes, suddenly she took a deep breath and at the same time, I heard Yani's voice calling my name. Margarita opened her eyes and I told her to forget about the idea. Yani's voice changed my thoughts and my mind. Later, Margarita told me that the spirit that wanted to take your life changed his mind too because he felt ashamed and sympathetic for Yani.
Many Indonesians and some Malays believed that humans and Djinns could be married. There are stories about this and sometimes the humans would follow their Djinn spouses to their world. I thought in the past it was only a folklore but it happened to me. The Taoists believed that they could arrange a wedding for a spirit couple in the world of the spirit. Usually it would be for their decease loved ones that had died as a single so that their loved ones in the spirit world could have a happy life. It sounds ridiculous yet many of them believed in it. My case was not any different to the beliefs of many Indonesians, Malays and perhaps others too. Hollywood produces many Dracula films and most of the Draculas could seduce female and male humans for love and blood.
Once I had intentionally asked Margarita about how she had died because I had suspected that maybe she was a soul of a decease woman and not a Djinn. She replied that she had died of asthmatic attacked. After saying that, she realised that she had spoken something that she was not supposed to say to me. When I queried further about her death, she told me that she did not wish to talk about it anymore with some irritations and slight anger. I let it go and I took it very lightly, convinced myself that Spirit was Spirit and the soul was not the same identity as the Djinns in the unseen realm, even though I had heard from Mbak Rani's decease mother and Mbak Mary who had admitted that they were the souls of decease human beings. I discounted their assertions and sticked to my religious teachings of Islamic faith that souls in Hereafter could not communicate with humans after their death but Djinns and the Devil, they could.
Come and hold my hand
I want to contact the living
The opening lyrics of ' I Can Feel ' by Robbie Williams
In late March 1993, Yani and I were in Jakarta. We were there until middle of June 1993. We needed to have some cash to set up a small business in Bali. Yani sold her jewelries, the house furnitures and other items; and the little house in Jakarta.
We stayed in a small hotel called Hotel Danau Toba in the district of Jatinegara, south of Jakarta. I know the name of the hotel may sound a misnomer to you because Lake Toba is located in Sumatra but the hotel name is authentic. In front of that small hotel, there was a church. While staying there, I met three spirits from the unseen world without Yani's knowledge.
One afternoon after Yani had completed her afternoon prayer, she told me that she heard a voice. Yani became a Muslim again after she met me and naturally she would try to follow the religious precepts of Islam again. After she had completed her afternoon prayer that day, she had actually questioned herself within her heart whether her manner of praying was correct. She told me that she had said something like this within her heart, "I wonder whether my manner of praying is correct?' Immediately after that she heard a male voice replied to her, ' Yes, correct. Your prayer is correct.' I thought to myself that maybe she was imagining and took it as a passing statement from her.
One evening, while she was praying, I was sitting on a stool in front of her about three metres away observing her. She had completed her evening prayer and while she was still sitting crossed legs on the praying mattress, praying for Allah's Blessing with her face downcast looking at her open palms, suddenly she looked up at me and smiled very sweetly for a few seconds. Then she downcasted her face again. There was something different about her expressions, especially, about her smile. I never saw her smiled in that manner before. When I saw that, I felt goose bumps all over my body. It was unusual for me to feel that way while observing her praying. I immediately rush towards her and sat in front of her. Then I questioned her strictly and looked at her straight in the eyes.
"Who are you?"
"Huh..What is it?" she responded with surprised.
"Who are you?" I questioned her again.
"What are you talking about. What's wrong with you", she replied with a smile.
"I repeated my questioned again, "Who are you?"
"I'm Yani. What's wrong with you?" she answered.
"Don't lie to me. You're not Yani. Who are you?" I said firmly again.
"Yani! I'm Yani! This is Yani! She replied and staring at me angrily.
At this point, she closed her eyes as though she was like going to faint but I hold her by the shoulders and shook her. She opened her eyes again.
"Who are you?" I firmly questioned her again.
She ignored my questioned, closed her eyes again and about to faint again. I shook her again and she opened her eyes again. She was annoyed and stared at me with fierce expressions on her face.
"Who are you?" I persisted further.
"When you're angry with your wife, please do not grip the back of her neck with your hand. She feels painful."
She spoke with firmness and strict toned. She looked at me directly into my eyes. She was very angry with me. Then she closed her eyes and she sort of like going to sleep. Her body slanted slightly on the right hand side of her body, maintaining still in her crossed legs sitting position on the praying mattress.
When she had replied to me in that anger manner, I was sort of surprised and I felt ashamed too. Her statement was justified because sometimes when Yani was stubborn and angry with me, I would use my right hand to grip her by the back of her neck to release my anger towards her. So, when I heard her siad that, I did not stopped her and I let her go.
I sat on the bed nearby and for about fifteen seconds she closed her eyes then opened her eyes again. When Yani saw me sitting on the bed, she smiled at me and she did not asked me anything. Yani's usual smile expression was different from the earlier one that I had seen and had encountered. I was certain that personality that I had encountered was not Yani. Yani even did not asked me whether there was something wrong with me or about my interrogation. She was oblivious as though nothing had happened. I looked at her and remain reticent. I kept quiet about it and I did not query Yani anymore with my curiosity.
The next day I thought about the incident the whole day and I observed Yani very carefully. Evening came and while she was doing her evening prayer nothing happened.
Later, while we were sitting in our room talking about general things and then suddenly, Yani became quiet. She was like gazing into empty space as though she was thinking of something and her mind seemed so far away. I saw it, observed her for a few seconds, then touched her hands, shook it lightly and she seemed shocked when I did that. Then I asked her whether she was alright. She looked at me, nodded that she was alright but remained silent and then turned her face slightly to another direction. She started to gaze again like looking something at a distant. I let her be and observed her. A few seconds later she turned to me, smiled at me sweetly like I had seen the day before. She said "Hello" to me and I replied vice versa. I knew I was not conversing to Yani's personality. It was someone else. When I enquired for her name she smiled sweetly at me and said, "My name is Margarita."
Margarita told me that she was seventeen years old and she met Yani while Yani was working at Hailai Executive Nightclub at Ancol, Jakarta in 1992. She described Yani as a naive and silly girl but sympathised with her because Yani had commitments for her family at the village. She came to Yani again when she found out from her friends in the spirit world that Yani was in Jakarta again.
Margarita told me that her mother was good in spiritual matters and she was helping some humans for spiritual healing matters. Margarita's mother disallowed her to know about her work. Margarita's mother was a Muslim Djinn or Spirit and Margarita herself was a Muslim Djinn.
Margarita's father was formerly a Christian Spirit but then he became a Muslim later. She told me that her father had a large trading business and they were very wealthy in the spirit world. They lived in a big house with swimming pool. She was the only child and daughter in her family.
She told me that she had a maroon Toyota Corolla car and she had a driver to her disposal. She told me that the cars in her world could go through any solid matters.
Margarita loved to disco at Hailai and she loved to drink too.
I was smoking while talking to her then she asked me for a cigarette. Yani did not smoke but Margarita was a smoker. She smoked expertly without any coughed.
I asked her whether I could see and meet her personally besides via my wife's body by materialising herself before me or perhaps meeting me in my dream. She mentioned that if I saw her, I would fall madly in love with her and if I saw her world, I would not want to return to my own world again.
She told me that in her world they could transform themselves into animals, for instance, like a bird.
Once, she suddenly stopped talking in the middle of our conversation, as though she was thinking or concentrating about something else. When I intervened she ' Shsss..' at me with her fore finger upon her lips. After about a minute later, she told me that she was communicating with her driver who was waiting for her outside. She said that in her world they could communicate with one another with their thoughts. I was surprised with her explanation, which I never thought that I would actually hear from someone or a spirit that possessed a human physical body, who would tell me that to me. I was ignorant about the subject of telepathy at that time.
Margarita told me that when the physical world was day time, her world would be night time and when the physical world was night time, her world would be day time.
She told me that she knew about Yani's and my problems but she could not do anything about it because she was not a spirit that had special powers or knowledge; but her mother possessed that ability. She did not want her parents to know that she was meeting a human being. In fact, she had asked her friends in her world to teach her about the method of meeting humans because she did not know the method.
She said that she had been watching Yani and I for quite awhile without our knowledge. So when she managed to meet me, she was quite happy because she never met a man like me before. She said that she liked to converse with me because I talked to her like a friend. She advised me, "We need to be patience and tolerance to win", which she meant was pertaining to our difficulties of the house's sale transaction matters in Jakarta. She knew that we relied on someone, a middleman, for the business transaction to be completed.
That night we talked for a long time, several hours in fact, about many things but she needed to return to her home in the spirit world before her parents looked for her. She said she would come back to meet me everyday and if I thought about her, she could feel it and she would know about it. She warned me not to tell Yani about her and our meeting. She would not meet me again if I talked to Yani about it. She made me promised to her that I would honour it. And I did as she requested. Then she bid goodnight and she remained silent, gazing into empty space just like Yani did prior to Margarita's appearance. I observed for awhile about one minute, then I shook Yani's hands lightly. Yani was shocked when I did that. Then she told me that she was tired and immediately went to sleep.
I did not sleep well that night because I was wondering about the conversation I had with Margarita. Yani and Margarita were so different in characters and intellect. Yani was more like a child and she was still immature even though she was already twenty years old, whereas Margarita was matured and lady like with a personality that would enthrall, enthuse and entice a person to listen. I felt pleased and happy of our meeting because I was talking to a young spirit woman from the spirit realm personally, which I had never encountered before in my life. I was talking to her like I was conversing to any ordinary human being or more like a girlfriend. That was the beginning of our human and spirit relationship.
As she had assured me, she met me everyday without the knowledge of my wife. Sometimes she came in the morning, at noon, in the evening and at night. She told me that sometimes, she stayed overnight together with Yani and I. She said she listened to our conversation and she also listened to our thoughts. She would actually know about our thoughts and emotions too. She said that she loved to be near us because we became like her own friends or family. And Margarita and I became very closed.
We talked about my first wife Noorasmah in Singapore and she queried me about my feelings for Noorasmah. We talked about Yani too. We joked with each other and we ate together. Though I had a lot of worries when I was in Jakarta, she became my closed companion and she gave me encouragement to face the obstacles with a positive attitude. She began to meet me a couple of times in a day and I had begun to think about her more often in my mind. Yani's image in my mind became further away and I always wondered about the beauty of Margarita because I heard from Malay people who mentioned that female Djinns or Spirits in the unseen world were all beautiful if compared to human females. My mind began to imagine about her youth and beauty. I really wanted to meet her personally but she never came to my dream to meet me.
My obsession with Margarita grew as time passed and Margarita too seemed to be obsessed with me. I began to wish more for Margarita's companionship than to my own wife, Yani. We were compatible to each other and we were actually becoming like a couple in courtships. We began to feel affectionate for each other and we were actually falling in love.
I want to be truthful to you about this story of mine and I know you are wondering whether all this was a fantasy of my own imagination. It was not my imagination. It happened truly and I am aware of this story still because it happened and it is a mark in my conscience that will remain for the rest of my life. I hope you forgive me for narrating this story to you. It sounds crazy, disgusting but it really happened.
Margarita and I became intimate and whenever she stayed overnight, we would do hanky-panky but I would always controlled myself from having sex with her because we were two different beings and we were also not "married". We had to overcome our lust and she too knew that we were unsupposed to commit that sinful act. She became very attached to me and she often stayed overnight with me, due to this reason and I did not mind at all.
I was like a man who had no scruples and conscience though I was married to Yani. Each time when Yani went to sleep, Margarita would come to take over Yani's body. Whenever she came to possess Yani's body while she was asleep, Yani saw Margarita and Yani would scorn at her for meeting her always, over and over again. I watched and listened to Yani's reactions and scorned words while she was sleeping. Yani would speak like this to Margarita in her sleep.
"Who are you?"
"What you want from me?"
"What! You want to borrow my body to meet my husband!"
"Why you want to meet my husband!"
"Go away! And don't come near me again"
"Always you! Always must be you! Why must you always come to me."
"Go away! You bitch! I don't want to see you again understand!"
"Why! You again!. Always must be you. Always must be you. I hate you. Go away!"
No matter what Yani had said to Margarita and scorned at her, and no matter how obstinate Yani had been towards Margarita, Margarita had always managed to possess Yani's body to meet me.
Once, when Margarita had refused to go away from Yani, Yani had actually went to the bathroom, took a small pail of water, threw it at Margarita, scorned her to go away while she was totally asleep and with her eyes completed closed tight. She did not even tripped and fell down. She could actually walked to the bathroom without any difficulties as though she was awake. It was like somnambulism. But once Margarita took controlled of Yani's body, my wife would be soundly asleep. When I asked Margarita where was my wife, she pointed me to the place on the sleeping pillow, right next to her head, "There she is, sleeping soundly like a baby. Her (Soul) light is dimmed now. That means she's sleeping."
Once I asked Yani what she had dreamt last night. She said that she saw a young woman in black mini-dress with shoulder length hair. She wore high heel shoes. She wore gold rings on every finger and she wore gold bangles on both hands up to her elbows. When I asked her what this young woman really looked like; whether it was fair or dark skin, short or tall, slim or fat, ugly or pretty; Yani could not recall. I was anxious and eager to know how Margarita's appearance looked like.
Once Margarita had told me about her problem with a male Spirit in her world. Her father had a business partner and her father had wished that she be married to his business partner's son. Margarita and her father's business partner's son were already engaged and due to be married in the future, but she disliked her fiance.
Each time when her fiance visited her house, without her father's knowledge, her fiance would sneak up to her room and he tried to do something bad to her. She could not inform her father because her father trusted and loved her fiance like a son.
She asked me what she should do to stop him from doing something bad to her. I told her to lock her bedroom door but she said that she had done that but he always managed to enter her room because he had the door key to her bedroom. So I told her that she should lock her bedroom door and put a chair against the doorknob so that he could not open the door. She told me that she had done that too and he still could enter her bedroom while she was asleep. I told her that if I could help her I would but it was up to her whether she should inform her father or not.
I was actually angry and perhaps jealous too, when I heard her story. So I told her that if I managed to meet up with her fiance, I would give him hell although it was none of my business. After that she never mentioned to me about her fiance anymore.
What I am going to write here is not good. In fact it is repugnance. But it is the truth and you want to know the true story about Margarita and I.
One night, Margarita and I were succumbed to our lust. Before that happened, I had informed her that we needed to be 'married' first. She agreed to my suggestion and she told me that she would call for witnesses to our solemnisation. She told me to lie down next to her and held her hand. We held hands and she closed her eyes. Then we waited and I was wondering of what was going to happen to us. Then suddenly she took a deep sharp breath as though a sudden breeze of wind had gone into her nostrils. We remained in a reposed position for about fifteen minutes, then she opened her eyes and she said it was completed. There were three witnesses from her spirit world. We were already 'husband' and 'wife', then we consummated our marriage.
I need to let you know that I was actually feeling very awkward making love to her with Yani's physical body but it was not Yani. What happened? It was as though I was attracted to a beautiful female alien from outer space and subconsciously I wanted to know what it would be like to have a female companion from another world beside my own world. It was a stupid thing to do and usually this kind of thing happened due to our own desires. I felt guilty after that and I hated myself for getting involved with Margarita. I had cheated on Yani and I supposedly had a third 'wife' in the spirit world.
After our 'marriage', Yani began to ask me whether I knew anyone by the name of Rita. I lied to her that I had never known a woman by that name. At one time, she was so adamant until she suspected that I had an affair with another woman behind her back. I reason with her that I was always near her and how was I going to have an affair with another woman. She accepted my explanation. Then I queried her why she had suspected that I had an extra marital relationship. She told me that she heard a male voice numerous times advising her about taking good care of her own husband and there was a woman by the name of Mbak Rita that was seeing me without her knowledge. I told her that she was talking nonsense and she was imagining all that up in her mind. I kept silent about it and we never talked about it anymore.
I asked Margarita about her 'wedding' rings since we were married. She told me that she would try to do something about it. I did not know how she was going to get her 'wedding' ring.
One day Margarita asked me about something, which I thought was quite puzzling too. She had asked me whether the dead human corpse would be alive again should she go into the dead human physical body. I did not know how to react or answer her but I just told her it was not possible.
Margarita and I often ate together and I noticed that the manner she ate was quite strange but I just ignored it. I did not mentioned or asked her about it. When she ate anything, there would be a clap..clap..clap sounds as she chewed her food.
Many times she told me to keep quiet because she somehow another knew that someone was listening or peeping us from outside our room. We kept quiet for awhile then she would say it was nothing except that somebody was listening to us. One early morning, while we were awake and talking, suddenly she informed me that there was a Peeping Tom outside our room. I saw nothing but she did. We opened the room door and rushed outside to see who it was. There was this middle age man who suddenly approached us from a nearby room and he had queried us what was the matter. We told him that there was a Peeping Tom outside our room and he anxiously volunteered to look for that Peeping Tom. He quickly went out of the hotel premises to look for that Peeping Tom. The strangest thing was that we had never seen him around the hotel before and then my intuition told me that he was that Peeping Tom but he had pretended to be a good Samaritan just to escape from us. We told the hotel management about it and from that day onward, there was nobody trying to peep into our room or other guests' room.
Many times Margarita had invited me to follow her back to her world but she mentioned to me that if I agreed to her invitation, she would call someone from her world to do that task because she did not know the method of doing that task. When that happened, I would be dead in my world but I would still be alive in her world. She said to me that she would be there in her world to wait and invite me personally should I wish to follow her. She sometimes insisted and persisted me to follow her but I had always told her that my duties in my own world was not completed yet. I did not want to see Yani in difficulties. She did not force me but she always persuaded me and she told me that I could help her father's business.
Once I was willing to follow her because I felt tired of living a life of a fugitive. We held hands lying next to each other in bed and I was afraid of death. She closed her eyes for a few minutes, suddenly she took a deep breath and at the same time, I heard Yani's voice calling my name. Margarita opened her eyes and I told her to forget about the idea. Yani's voice changed my thoughts and my mind. Later, Margarita told me that the spirit that wanted to take your life changed his mind too because he felt ashamed and sympathetic for Yani.
Many Indonesians and some Malays believed that humans and Djinns could be married. There are stories about this and sometimes the humans would follow their Djinn spouses to their world. I thought in the past it was only a folklore but it happened to me. The Taoists believed that they could arrange a wedding for a spirit couple in the world of the spirit. Usually it would be for their decease loved ones that had died as a single so that their loved ones in the spirit world could have a happy life. It sounds ridiculous yet many of them believed in it. My case was not any different to the beliefs of many Indonesians, Malays and perhaps others too. Hollywood produces many Dracula films and most of the Draculas could seduce female and male humans for love and blood.
Once I had intentionally asked Margarita about how she had died because I had suspected that maybe she was a soul of a decease woman and not a Djinn. She replied that she had died of asthmatic attacked. After saying that, she realised that she had spoken something that she was not supposed to say to me. When I queried further about her death, she told me that she did not wish to talk about it anymore with some irritations and slight anger. I let it go and I took it very lightly, convinced myself that Spirit was Spirit and the soul was not the same identity as the Djinns in the unseen realm, even though I had heard from Mbak Rani's decease mother and Mbak Mary who had admitted that they were the souls of decease human beings. I discounted their assertions and sticked to my religious teachings of Islamic faith that souls in Hereafter could not communicate with humans after their death but Djinns and the Devil, they could.
# posted by Zulkifli @ 8:00 PM 
