Wednesday, November 29, 2006
LIFE - Mind Of A Mankind - Chapter Five
MY HOME SWEET HOME
In our private worlds, God, our Creator, is mostly likely to whisper in the gentle stirrings of conviction, guidance, and the experiences of grace. But also in our private worlds is the grim reality of darker, shadowy forces that we identify with the word evil or sinfulness. If God whispers, evil often shouts, and personal worlds break when that shouting gets our attention.
The principle of being silent with listening - We wished to be listeners to the deep sources where certain kinds of heavenly truth are tapped only by those who have a heart to be attentive. Soon we became aware that God has much to say that we had not been hearing. We were usually too busy and in places where the noise levels were too high. God will not shout, He whispers in the deep. Only those who stop long enough or who are stopped long enough hear the text of the message from the deep.
Quoted on 18th April 1999 from the book 'Rebuilding My Broken World'.
Noorasmah and I got married and two months later we shifted to our very own four rooms flat. We managed to get it quickly for this particular flat was vacant for nearly four years. Nobody seemed to like this particular flat maybe due to distance from their office or the flat was too small for them. This area was unpopular too at that time because there were no good amenities like transportation, market, schools and etc. I found it very nice for the common corridor was facing the Johor State of West Malaysia and I love the sea breeze. Furthermore, I needed to have my own flat fast for we wished to have a 'home sweet home' for ourselves. My parents' flat was already crowded and we needed privacy too.
The first night when my parents were sleeping at our new flat, my dad dreamt of seeing a big black figure. He woke up shouting but we took it as a nightmare. My mother was there to cleanse the flat from evil spirits and I thought everythin would be fine. Well, I guessed things go wrong when we are taking things for granted.
I was working for people from 1987 until early period of 1989. We were happy and there were no serious problems. We got all the items that we needed for our home. There were no possession for a long time until I went into my own business in May 1989. My business was not doing well and most of the time I had to seek helped from my family to generate more paid up capital into the business.
During that period of 1989 to 1992, most of the time I was very committed to my business and I always returned home very late at night or in the early morning hours. The business of mine needed large funds to maintain the running cost and I disliked the idea of closing down the business because large amount of cash had been contributed. So I had to make sure that the business had to go on until I somehow another succeeded.
Noorasmah felt neglected and she was always alone at home because I was too busy with my business. She was like going into depression because of this and we always had misunderstanding pertaining to cash and my business. Her health was also deteriorating and probably she felt the stressed of haveing a husband who was in business and perhaps even irresponsible. Her asthmatic attacked was frequent and her health was becoming weaker due to her depression about our marriage life and our future together, which at that time seemed so gloomy. It looked as if we were not going to make it together.
She stopped working completely in 1990 because she felt her health was deteriorating due to the frequent asthmatic attacks, and she was always in the state of mental stress and body fatigue. She was really ill in mind and body. We went to see many doctors and they diagnosed it as stressed and fatigue that caused her to experience frequent asthmatic attacked. One doctor even had advised me that probably my wife needed a chile in her life to make her happy and we should think of having a child. I had no objection to it but I let Allah to determine our lives whether it was time for us to have children at that time. There was no luck and we just went on with our daily lives as usual. She was the housewife and I was the businessman.
Noorasmah's mother in spiritual healing and witchcraft power too much. Whenever she felt ill, she would seek the spiritual healers to see whether anyone had charmed he in any way. They usually postulated that there were and she had to make sure that nobody did any harm to her by wearing talismans or consuming holy water or bathe in water polluted with flowers and small pieces of limes, provided by the spiritual healers. She went to many places for this reason, afraid of being charmed by other people that thought were angry or jealous of her.
My mother-in-law had influenced my wife. They went to see a Malay female spiritual healer at Tiong Bahru. My father-in-law had influenced my wife too and they went to seek a Malay male spiritual healer at Yishun. They believed that their daughter was unhealthy due to being charmed by other people. They had advised Noorasmah to have faith and try it out or perhaps Noorasmah had prayed to Allah for good health but it was not fulfilled. Maybe she thought to herself that the doctors could not do anything to make her health better and began to believe that spiritual healing was the only option. Probably in the past she was charmed by that Malay man or possessed by the evil spirit were the reasons she felt justified to go for spiritual healing sessions again. Finally, she was hooked by those spiritual healers' exploitations and her prayers to Allah was insufficient or ineffective for her to be well again. Whatever her reasons were, I could not make myself to agree totally with her decision but she insisted strongly partly because she believed in the dark and good forces in the unseen realm could influence her health. Muslims are taught to believe the existence of the good and evil forces in the unseen realm and I know other faiths too taught their followers likewise. So what could I say but just to let it be whatever they believed in their faiths.
Those two spiritual healers that my wife went to seek for spiritual healings had secretly informed her and had accused that my own mother had charmed her. She did not tell me but I had intuitions after she had refused to allow my own mother to treat her again. When I asked her she denied it and I kept quiet about it. I did not inform by mother about it.
At Yishun, the Malay "Bomoh" told us that there was an old woman from the spirit world, she had lived in our flat long before we shifted in and she had regarded my wife like her own daughter. This female 'Djinn" supposedly had many spirit followers too. She wished to make my wife like her own daughter, to take care and protect her from being harmed or ill by humans from the physical world and spirits from the unseen realm. She did want to see Noorasmah unhappy and unhealthy. However, this Malay male "Bomoh" too supposedly had his own spirit followers in the "Djinn" world. His spirit followers were supposedly warriors specialising in the Malay martial arts and they were trying to chase away the old woman spirit from my wife's life. Whenever the Malay male "Bomoh" came to inspect our flat, he would faint in the guest bedroom because his spirit followers would possess him when the old woman spirit and her spirit followers were present. It seemed that the guest room was her main sleeping area. This Malay "Bomoh" would then sat up in crossed legs and conversed with those unseen spirits before him. His eyes were closed and after they had communicated he would be unconscious again.
Later he told us that he had already ordered the spirit entities to leave us alone because he too had declared that we were like his children. Should they refused, then there would be war in the spirit world between his spirit followers and the old woman spirit followers. We ended up sleeping over at his flat for a few days because my wife was frightened to stay in our own flat. Then again we would go there again whenever my wife felt frightened or when she was alone at home. I hated to yield to her requests but she was really frightened. I needed to work and I had difficulties concentrating on my business. I ended up being depressed and unhappy too because of this reason.
Once while at the Malay male spiritual healer's flat, Noorasmah was possessed by a male spirit entity from the unseen realm and she began to do some "Kung-Fu" movements with her hands. He was a Non-Muslim spirit entity and he was one of the followers of the old woman spirit. He spoke Chinese and my wife was actually ignorant of Chinese language. I heard it and it daunted my mind for I knew that Chinese male spirit entity was very strong when I tried to hold her hands while the Malay healer was mumbling some holy verses to counter the spirit that possessed my wife's body. I could see the face expression of the spirit entity was in vained and he really had difficulties to move his hands too. At the end he left my wife's body. Before he did that, he said "I want to run away" in Chinese. It was in Hokkien dialect.
At Tiong Bahru, the Malay female spiritual healer claimed she had female Fairy followers claiming to be living in the sky. Once I saw my wife being possessed at her flat and Noorasmah was squatting, jumping up and down like a monkey when the female "Bomoh" blew a whistle. While Noorasmah was still in that trance state, I questioned her in English whether she was able to pray to Allah. She replied "Yes!" in English to me. In my mind I was wondering how come the entity that possessed her could understand English. It seemed that Noorasmah could not remember what had happened and I was not sure whether she was conscious or unconscious but she did not faint. Furthermore, after Noorasmah was herself again, she did not even mentioned anything to me about her strange behaviours. I did not question her about it for I felt she already went through enough with the spiritual healing session. So I just forego my curiosity.
Each time when any spiritual healers failed to make Noorasmah better, my mother-in-law and my wife would seek out for different spiritual healers. They had always mentioned that this healer or that healer uttered Qur'anic holy verses or they were using the healing methods of Islamic teachings. We went to one place at Marsiling whereby the Malay female spiritual healer and her husband claimed to have many spirit followers of Malay martial art warriors from the spirit world. Her husband would write something on the floor with his forefinger while his wife would be unconscious using her finger movements too to communicate with the spirits from the unseen realm. They too told us that there was an old woman spirit living in our flat and she had regarded Noorasmah like her own daughter. She was there long before we had shifted in to our flat. All these information frightened Noorasmah until she was uncomfortable when she stayed at home alone in the day or at night. To be honest with you, I was afraid too but I usually tried to disregard their information and ignored the presence of the old woman entity in the unseen world was living together with us at our flat. Sometimes we stayed over at their flat for spiritual healing treatments.
Soon I became almost like Noorasmah and the spiritual healer at Marsiling gave me talismans to ward off evil spirits. My own mother started to give me talisman for business and for self-protection from being harmed physically or spiritually. She too told me that there was an old woman spirit entity presence in our flat but she did not wish to indulge for she found out that Noorasmah had been treated by other spiritual healers. That really hurt her and I kept mummed about it. Finally she found out and she let the other spiritual healers to ward off the evil demons from our flat and from our lives. I did not really know why she did that but she felt hurt and she only linked her own spirit followers to me alone for my wife already distrusted my mother.
Then one day Noorasmah and I started to go to Benut, Johore State of West Malaysia. She had sorted for new spiritual healer again and somebody informed her about this place. I relented to her request to go there. The same treatment and procedure I saw in Singapore and I had always looked at it doubtfully. Sometimes I just gave them the benefit of doubts.
During the time when Noorasmah received this treatment from the Malay female "Bomoh" from Malaysia, one night I woke up and I saw Noorasmah was massaging her feet, legs and hands. I asked her what she was doing and she told me that it was not her who was doing the massaging. She seemed conscious and she knew it was not her action. I had seen her while being possessed by evil spirits so I thought maybe this spirit entity was good. She felt safe and I just watched her.
Sometimes while at home, with her face downcast and her front hair coveing part of her face, she would suddenly turned like someone else for a few seconds. She would looked at me directly with a slight impish smile. Then I would call to her sternly to stop that and she would be normal again as though nothing had happened. It seemed she was unaware about it because when I queried her why she did that, she seemed sort of lost about my inquiry.
Those few occasions when she was possessed, I saw she was conscious. She knew about her situation and it frightened her so much. She had already depended so much on the spiritual healers to control her life from the evil spirits that were disturbing her. She had trusted the spiritual healers' opinions more than her own husband and these business of spiritual healing were destroying our marriage lives. I was always busy with my own business and she felt neglected. Probably, she even suffered from mental demanic depression, which I had not realised.
I was so annoyed with all the spiritual healing sessions. So I began to spend more time at the office and we became quite estranged. I regretted for doing that business and I wished I had spent more time with her to make our lives more meaningful. I was very ambitious with my future. I wanted to be rich, famous and powerful.
In November 1991, I needed more funds to maintain my business so I went around to influence people about my ideas of making fast profitable money. I had created a 'get rich quick' scam. I knew it was a very foolish action but I took that risks. I knew it was against the law and should I failed to recover my losses and returned the investment money to the investors, I knew I was going to jailed. I was desperate. I thought I could use the hard cash and pay them back. I failed completely. I was scared of the investors. At the end I fled to Indonesia because I could not pay them back of their capitals plus high profits that I had promised.
On 20th August 1992, I fled without Noorasmah's knowledge. She did not know my whereabout. We were legally divorced on 25th May 1994 when I was absent from Singapore while I was living as a fugitive and an illegal immigrant in Bali. We were separated over ten years, from August 1992 to December 2002 because of my own foolish action.
After my released from imprisonment, we reconciled as busband and wife. It was a long journey before I could return home again to her and now I am trying to make her happy as best as I can. We are no longer believers of spiritual healing anymore and Noorasmah is a very good Muslim who believes in the Power of Almighty Allah regardless of her ill or good health now.
I have to digress for awhile here. Writing in Chapter Six and Seven about these possessions and spiritual healings is not something that I enjoyed to write about. It is as though I hailed the spirits or supernatural beliefs, which I now do not really like to indulge in too much. I wrote all these stories from chapter one to the present chapter for you to see for yourself that by believing in such things like these would make you like fools without good intelligence or conscience. It would not help you but it would only destroy your life instead of improving your life. It would deteriorate you in mind and body. It would affect your relationship with your family and society too. This should be avoided and you should have more faith with yourself before you have faith in your religion or God. Follow the laws that are good and those that are not good, probably you have to contemplate for yourself whether to hold on to it or ignore them.
Times changes and we have to change with time too. It is just like when you know A is already false, would you still believe in A or would you move on to B for you to search for better knowledge and probably you would gain new truth in your development as humans.
My own opinion of good or evil forces presence in the unseen world is that it is only superstitious belief and probably I would never believe in it again till my last breath. I believe they are souls of mankind. They are harmless unless you believed that have mighty powers.
Those of us who have these beliefs about evil and good spirits in the unseen world that could influence humans in their health and in their daily lives should review the fundamental facts that your bad or good actions are yours. Do not blame the evil spirits for your evil actions and do not depend on the good spirits to help you with your good actions. You must learned to blame yourself when you do something bad and give yourself a good pat for doing something good. Perhaps we should just stop talking about the good or bad spirits presence in the unseen world; then we could eradicate the superstitious beliefs of good and evil forces in the unseen world.
I relented to Noorasmah's request for spiritual healing treatments due to the facts that I was unable to help her with her health and partly I was ignorant of the psychological effect upon her. I was not religious or highly educated. I have only Secondary Four education level. It showed how dangerous it is to have lacked of education or no education at all. Probably I did not do much reading on books that would give me more knowledge about the world in general and developed my own intelligence. I only managed to do that when I was in prison.
Supernatural or Spiritual or Faith healing is not in the agenda of Science because it is not reliable. Scientists need to see the process of healing can be repeated continuously before they can say it is true. They need to measure their results and they need to see the facts and data of producing such results.
Whether these stories have any relevancy to you depends on what you see the mind of yours can do. The mind is meant for us to think logically and intelligently for our lives to go forward and never to use it for such things as witchcraft beliefs or maybe some superstitious beliefs of good and evil forces in the unseen world. Those evil and good forces are meant for us humans to use it or control it within our lives as humans and not with the spirits in the unseen world. I regarded myself as a fool for believing such things in the past and I revealed all these stories for you to judge for yourself where you stand in regards to this matter of good and evil knowledge or spirits.
In our private worlds, God, our Creator, is mostly likely to whisper in the gentle stirrings of conviction, guidance, and the experiences of grace. But also in our private worlds is the grim reality of darker, shadowy forces that we identify with the word evil or sinfulness. If God whispers, evil often shouts, and personal worlds break when that shouting gets our attention.
The principle of being silent with listening - We wished to be listeners to the deep sources where certain kinds of heavenly truth are tapped only by those who have a heart to be attentive. Soon we became aware that God has much to say that we had not been hearing. We were usually too busy and in places where the noise levels were too high. God will not shout, He whispers in the deep. Only those who stop long enough or who are stopped long enough hear the text of the message from the deep.
Quoted on 18th April 1999 from the book 'Rebuilding My Broken World'.
Noorasmah and I got married and two months later we shifted to our very own four rooms flat. We managed to get it quickly for this particular flat was vacant for nearly four years. Nobody seemed to like this particular flat maybe due to distance from their office or the flat was too small for them. This area was unpopular too at that time because there were no good amenities like transportation, market, schools and etc. I found it very nice for the common corridor was facing the Johor State of West Malaysia and I love the sea breeze. Furthermore, I needed to have my own flat fast for we wished to have a 'home sweet home' for ourselves. My parents' flat was already crowded and we needed privacy too.
The first night when my parents were sleeping at our new flat, my dad dreamt of seeing a big black figure. He woke up shouting but we took it as a nightmare. My mother was there to cleanse the flat from evil spirits and I thought everythin would be fine. Well, I guessed things go wrong when we are taking things for granted.
I was working for people from 1987 until early period of 1989. We were happy and there were no serious problems. We got all the items that we needed for our home. There were no possession for a long time until I went into my own business in May 1989. My business was not doing well and most of the time I had to seek helped from my family to generate more paid up capital into the business.
During that period of 1989 to 1992, most of the time I was very committed to my business and I always returned home very late at night or in the early morning hours. The business of mine needed large funds to maintain the running cost and I disliked the idea of closing down the business because large amount of cash had been contributed. So I had to make sure that the business had to go on until I somehow another succeeded.
Noorasmah felt neglected and she was always alone at home because I was too busy with my business. She was like going into depression because of this and we always had misunderstanding pertaining to cash and my business. Her health was also deteriorating and probably she felt the stressed of haveing a husband who was in business and perhaps even irresponsible. Her asthmatic attacked was frequent and her health was becoming weaker due to her depression about our marriage life and our future together, which at that time seemed so gloomy. It looked as if we were not going to make it together.
She stopped working completely in 1990 because she felt her health was deteriorating due to the frequent asthmatic attacks, and she was always in the state of mental stress and body fatigue. She was really ill in mind and body. We went to see many doctors and they diagnosed it as stressed and fatigue that caused her to experience frequent asthmatic attacked. One doctor even had advised me that probably my wife needed a chile in her life to make her happy and we should think of having a child. I had no objection to it but I let Allah to determine our lives whether it was time for us to have children at that time. There was no luck and we just went on with our daily lives as usual. She was the housewife and I was the businessman.
Noorasmah's mother in spiritual healing and witchcraft power too much. Whenever she felt ill, she would seek the spiritual healers to see whether anyone had charmed he in any way. They usually postulated that there were and she had to make sure that nobody did any harm to her by wearing talismans or consuming holy water or bathe in water polluted with flowers and small pieces of limes, provided by the spiritual healers. She went to many places for this reason, afraid of being charmed by other people that thought were angry or jealous of her.
My mother-in-law had influenced my wife. They went to see a Malay female spiritual healer at Tiong Bahru. My father-in-law had influenced my wife too and they went to seek a Malay male spiritual healer at Yishun. They believed that their daughter was unhealthy due to being charmed by other people. They had advised Noorasmah to have faith and try it out or perhaps Noorasmah had prayed to Allah for good health but it was not fulfilled. Maybe she thought to herself that the doctors could not do anything to make her health better and began to believe that spiritual healing was the only option. Probably in the past she was charmed by that Malay man or possessed by the evil spirit were the reasons she felt justified to go for spiritual healing sessions again. Finally, she was hooked by those spiritual healers' exploitations and her prayers to Allah was insufficient or ineffective for her to be well again. Whatever her reasons were, I could not make myself to agree totally with her decision but she insisted strongly partly because she believed in the dark and good forces in the unseen realm could influence her health. Muslims are taught to believe the existence of the good and evil forces in the unseen realm and I know other faiths too taught their followers likewise. So what could I say but just to let it be whatever they believed in their faiths.
Those two spiritual healers that my wife went to seek for spiritual healings had secretly informed her and had accused that my own mother had charmed her. She did not tell me but I had intuitions after she had refused to allow my own mother to treat her again. When I asked her she denied it and I kept quiet about it. I did not inform by mother about it.
At Yishun, the Malay "Bomoh" told us that there was an old woman from the spirit world, she had lived in our flat long before we shifted in and she had regarded my wife like her own daughter. This female 'Djinn" supposedly had many spirit followers too. She wished to make my wife like her own daughter, to take care and protect her from being harmed or ill by humans from the physical world and spirits from the unseen realm. She did want to see Noorasmah unhappy and unhealthy. However, this Malay male "Bomoh" too supposedly had his own spirit followers in the "Djinn" world. His spirit followers were supposedly warriors specialising in the Malay martial arts and they were trying to chase away the old woman spirit from my wife's life. Whenever the Malay male "Bomoh" came to inspect our flat, he would faint in the guest bedroom because his spirit followers would possess him when the old woman spirit and her spirit followers were present. It seemed that the guest room was her main sleeping area. This Malay "Bomoh" would then sat up in crossed legs and conversed with those unseen spirits before him. His eyes were closed and after they had communicated he would be unconscious again.
Later he told us that he had already ordered the spirit entities to leave us alone because he too had declared that we were like his children. Should they refused, then there would be war in the spirit world between his spirit followers and the old woman spirit followers. We ended up sleeping over at his flat for a few days because my wife was frightened to stay in our own flat. Then again we would go there again whenever my wife felt frightened or when she was alone at home. I hated to yield to her requests but she was really frightened. I needed to work and I had difficulties concentrating on my business. I ended up being depressed and unhappy too because of this reason.
Once while at the Malay male spiritual healer's flat, Noorasmah was possessed by a male spirit entity from the unseen realm and she began to do some "Kung-Fu" movements with her hands. He was a Non-Muslim spirit entity and he was one of the followers of the old woman spirit. He spoke Chinese and my wife was actually ignorant of Chinese language. I heard it and it daunted my mind for I knew that Chinese male spirit entity was very strong when I tried to hold her hands while the Malay healer was mumbling some holy verses to counter the spirit that possessed my wife's body. I could see the face expression of the spirit entity was in vained and he really had difficulties to move his hands too. At the end he left my wife's body. Before he did that, he said "I want to run away" in Chinese. It was in Hokkien dialect.
At Tiong Bahru, the Malay female spiritual healer claimed she had female Fairy followers claiming to be living in the sky. Once I saw my wife being possessed at her flat and Noorasmah was squatting, jumping up and down like a monkey when the female "Bomoh" blew a whistle. While Noorasmah was still in that trance state, I questioned her in English whether she was able to pray to Allah. She replied "Yes!" in English to me. In my mind I was wondering how come the entity that possessed her could understand English. It seemed that Noorasmah could not remember what had happened and I was not sure whether she was conscious or unconscious but she did not faint. Furthermore, after Noorasmah was herself again, she did not even mentioned anything to me about her strange behaviours. I did not question her about it for I felt she already went through enough with the spiritual healing session. So I just forego my curiosity.
Each time when any spiritual healers failed to make Noorasmah better, my mother-in-law and my wife would seek out for different spiritual healers. They had always mentioned that this healer or that healer uttered Qur'anic holy verses or they were using the healing methods of Islamic teachings. We went to one place at Marsiling whereby the Malay female spiritual healer and her husband claimed to have many spirit followers of Malay martial art warriors from the spirit world. Her husband would write something on the floor with his forefinger while his wife would be unconscious using her finger movements too to communicate with the spirits from the unseen realm. They too told us that there was an old woman spirit living in our flat and she had regarded Noorasmah like her own daughter. She was there long before we had shifted in to our flat. All these information frightened Noorasmah until she was uncomfortable when she stayed at home alone in the day or at night. To be honest with you, I was afraid too but I usually tried to disregard their information and ignored the presence of the old woman entity in the unseen world was living together with us at our flat. Sometimes we stayed over at their flat for spiritual healing treatments.
Soon I became almost like Noorasmah and the spiritual healer at Marsiling gave me talismans to ward off evil spirits. My own mother started to give me talisman for business and for self-protection from being harmed physically or spiritually. She too told me that there was an old woman spirit entity presence in our flat but she did not wish to indulge for she found out that Noorasmah had been treated by other spiritual healers. That really hurt her and I kept mummed about it. Finally she found out and she let the other spiritual healers to ward off the evil demons from our flat and from our lives. I did not really know why she did that but she felt hurt and she only linked her own spirit followers to me alone for my wife already distrusted my mother.
Then one day Noorasmah and I started to go to Benut, Johore State of West Malaysia. She had sorted for new spiritual healer again and somebody informed her about this place. I relented to her request to go there. The same treatment and procedure I saw in Singapore and I had always looked at it doubtfully. Sometimes I just gave them the benefit of doubts.
During the time when Noorasmah received this treatment from the Malay female "Bomoh" from Malaysia, one night I woke up and I saw Noorasmah was massaging her feet, legs and hands. I asked her what she was doing and she told me that it was not her who was doing the massaging. She seemed conscious and she knew it was not her action. I had seen her while being possessed by evil spirits so I thought maybe this spirit entity was good. She felt safe and I just watched her.
Sometimes while at home, with her face downcast and her front hair coveing part of her face, she would suddenly turned like someone else for a few seconds. She would looked at me directly with a slight impish smile. Then I would call to her sternly to stop that and she would be normal again as though nothing had happened. It seemed she was unaware about it because when I queried her why she did that, she seemed sort of lost about my inquiry.
Those few occasions when she was possessed, I saw she was conscious. She knew about her situation and it frightened her so much. She had already depended so much on the spiritual healers to control her life from the evil spirits that were disturbing her. She had trusted the spiritual healers' opinions more than her own husband and these business of spiritual healing were destroying our marriage lives. I was always busy with my own business and she felt neglected. Probably, she even suffered from mental demanic depression, which I had not realised.
I was so annoyed with all the spiritual healing sessions. So I began to spend more time at the office and we became quite estranged. I regretted for doing that business and I wished I had spent more time with her to make our lives more meaningful. I was very ambitious with my future. I wanted to be rich, famous and powerful.
In November 1991, I needed more funds to maintain my business so I went around to influence people about my ideas of making fast profitable money. I had created a 'get rich quick' scam. I knew it was a very foolish action but I took that risks. I knew it was against the law and should I failed to recover my losses and returned the investment money to the investors, I knew I was going to jailed. I was desperate. I thought I could use the hard cash and pay them back. I failed completely. I was scared of the investors. At the end I fled to Indonesia because I could not pay them back of their capitals plus high profits that I had promised.
On 20th August 1992, I fled without Noorasmah's knowledge. She did not know my whereabout. We were legally divorced on 25th May 1994 when I was absent from Singapore while I was living as a fugitive and an illegal immigrant in Bali. We were separated over ten years, from August 1992 to December 2002 because of my own foolish action.
After my released from imprisonment, we reconciled as busband and wife. It was a long journey before I could return home again to her and now I am trying to make her happy as best as I can. We are no longer believers of spiritual healing anymore and Noorasmah is a very good Muslim who believes in the Power of Almighty Allah regardless of her ill or good health now.
I have to digress for awhile here. Writing in Chapter Six and Seven about these possessions and spiritual healings is not something that I enjoyed to write about. It is as though I hailed the spirits or supernatural beliefs, which I now do not really like to indulge in too much. I wrote all these stories from chapter one to the present chapter for you to see for yourself that by believing in such things like these would make you like fools without good intelligence or conscience. It would not help you but it would only destroy your life instead of improving your life. It would deteriorate you in mind and body. It would affect your relationship with your family and society too. This should be avoided and you should have more faith with yourself before you have faith in your religion or God. Follow the laws that are good and those that are not good, probably you have to contemplate for yourself whether to hold on to it or ignore them.
Times changes and we have to change with time too. It is just like when you know A is already false, would you still believe in A or would you move on to B for you to search for better knowledge and probably you would gain new truth in your development as humans.
My own opinion of good or evil forces presence in the unseen world is that it is only superstitious belief and probably I would never believe in it again till my last breath. I believe they are souls of mankind. They are harmless unless you believed that have mighty powers.
Those of us who have these beliefs about evil and good spirits in the unseen world that could influence humans in their health and in their daily lives should review the fundamental facts that your bad or good actions are yours. Do not blame the evil spirits for your evil actions and do not depend on the good spirits to help you with your good actions. You must learned to blame yourself when you do something bad and give yourself a good pat for doing something good. Perhaps we should just stop talking about the good or bad spirits presence in the unseen world; then we could eradicate the superstitious beliefs of good and evil forces in the unseen world.
I relented to Noorasmah's request for spiritual healing treatments due to the facts that I was unable to help her with her health and partly I was ignorant of the psychological effect upon her. I was not religious or highly educated. I have only Secondary Four education level. It showed how dangerous it is to have lacked of education or no education at all. Probably I did not do much reading on books that would give me more knowledge about the world in general and developed my own intelligence. I only managed to do that when I was in prison.
Supernatural or Spiritual or Faith healing is not in the agenda of Science because it is not reliable. Scientists need to see the process of healing can be repeated continuously before they can say it is true. They need to measure their results and they need to see the facts and data of producing such results.
Whether these stories have any relevancy to you depends on what you see the mind of yours can do. The mind is meant for us to think logically and intelligently for our lives to go forward and never to use it for such things as witchcraft beliefs or maybe some superstitious beliefs of good and evil forces in the unseen world. Those evil and good forces are meant for us humans to use it or control it within our lives as humans and not with the spirits in the unseen world. I regarded myself as a fool for believing such things in the past and I revealed all these stories for you to judge for yourself where you stand in regards to this matter of good and evil knowledge or spirits.
# posted by Zulkifli @ 11:38 PM 
