Wednesday, December 13, 2006
LIFE - Mind Of A Mankind - Chapter Fifteen
THEY CAME TO STAY
It could only gestures about with its hands and calling for "Lia, Lia."
It was behaving like and talking like a little child. It was trying to talk.
So I guessed it meant Natalia's name.
I cried so hard when I reviewed this incidence while in Changi Prison
In late August 1993, I noticed that Yani felt quite lonely without her family near her and I knew she was also worried about her family at the village. We went back to East Java to fetch Yani's half-younger brother Adi to live with us in Bali. He was the second eldest in her family and he was about eighteen years old back then.
We visited Cak Pur's and Mbak Rani's home. There Mbak Rani told us that Busu felt lonely and sad too because I did not love him like I used to. So, he wished to remain silent. I waited at their home while Yani went back to fetch her half-brother. When Adi came, I was so happy to see him too. We left Cak Pur and Mbak Rani and I did not know how to explain to them about our whereabout for Yani disallowed me to let them know about our address in Bali for security reasons. I let her talked to them while I just remained silent. But they seemed to understand our situation. We bid them farewell and told them that we would visit them again whenever we could. That was the last time I saw and spoke to Cak Pur and Mbak Rani.
Back in Bali, most of the time we spend our time swimming at Ramayana Hotel at Jalan Kartika Plaza in Kuta to pass our time together and since Adi had never visited Bali before, we showed him most of the places of interest in Bali too. Adi felt thrilled to see tourists, especially White people for he had never had the chance to see those White people personally and he felt embarrassed whenever he saw female tourists in bikinis because for him it was just like seeing them naked.
There was one occasion in the evening, Yani, Adi and I were talking and joking in the living room. Yani told us that she could make money disappeared. She used Rp1000 currency to demonstrate. She rolled the currency note neatly, placed it on her right palm and closed it tight. The two ends of the rolled currency note were jutting out from her right palm and so she pushed it inside the palm. Then she brought her closed right palm about an inch away from her mouth and then blew on it slowly. She opened up her right palm and the money was gone. When Adi and I requested her to show us again her tricked she refused adamantly. Adi and I were confounded with her magic trick ability.
We had watched her very carefully. I was watching her hands and her mouth very carefully. Yani never showed me that tricked before and if she had known it, I was very sure she would have shown me earlier, especially, during the period when we were travelling to many parts of Indonesia. During that time, most of our time we played card games and I had shown her some card tricks or other tricks that I knew for entertainment. She had none to show me. The demonstration she did was exactly the same method that the spirit entities, Mbak Seri and Mastro, at Jombang, had demonstrated to Yani and I. Did she learn it from those spirits (Mbak Seri and Mastro) while in Jombang? Was she possessed by one spirit entity that Adi and I were not aware of? If she was, who was it? I do not know where she learned that trick and she never showed it again to anyone. I only saw her did that once.
One evening, Yani and I were in the living room watching television. Adi was out. Then out of a sudden, Yani laughed loudly in a male voice with her arms akimbo, "Ha..Ha..Ha." Then pointing at me it said, "I know this man. He is not good. I am the 'Jago' (Champion) here." Then he left Yani's body. I was caught by surprised and I felt frightful too with that unexpected demonstration. So while Yani was still in that hypnotised state of mind, angrily I called for Natalia to meet me. Natalia came and I could see that she was afraid of me. Angrily, I asked Natalia whether she was trying to play a joke with me. She claimed it was not her. "It's Ibu's nephew from Jogyakarta (in Central Java) that did that to Mas Robi. He was only joking and playing with Mas Robi. They are laughing now." I asked, "Where is he now?" She replied, "Outside". I went to the main door and angrily in soto voce manner, spoke to someone invisible outside, "If you dare, come and meet me personally. I want to meet you and you better apologise to me nicely." After that I went inside the living room. Natalia had left and Yani was still sitting on a chair and she was still in that altered state of mind. Then he came to meet me through Yani's body again. He stared at me with his arms akimbo and I angrily questioned him why he did that stupid performance upon me. "It's only a joke. I thought I could make you feel frighten. I love to joke." I listened to his explanation and I asked for his name. He called himself Anton. His full name was Anthony and he was a Christian. I told him not to do that kind of tricked on me again and I told him to apologise to me. He apologised honestly and happily. Then I ruffled his hair for him to feel awkward too. He stared at me but he knew I was only joking too. We laughed a little for awhile. He told me that he came to visit his Aunty in Bali for a vacation and he said his sister too came along together with him. After Mas Anton left Yani's body, Nonik, Mas Anton's sister came for awhile to introduce herself to me. I could not remember what we had talked about. Both of them were teenager spirits.
About this spirit entity, Mas Anton, he was not Natalia's 'husband' from Jakarta. I think if you asked me now, I would say honestly to you that they could trick me or impersonated themselves as different spirit entities with different names, and I would not know at all would I?
This reminded me of the religious teachings of the various faiths, which mentioned the 'evil spirits' and 'devils' could transform themselves into many forms and identities. I would also say that 'angels', 'deities' and God could also transform into many forms and identities too.
In the past, I had believed in all these evil and holy spirits but I do not believed in them now. Perhaps, I used to believe because I did not 'see' at them seriously and carefully; but after I 'see' them seriously and carefully, it was no longer a belief or faith.
God is an unseen Supreme Being and Creator. You need faith to believe in Him. If you 'see' God, then it is no longer faith. What would you call it then if it is no longer a belief or faith? I do not want to have Blind Faith or Blinded by Faith. I would just call it Theology Knowledge.
I would read the Holy Scriptures as a human who wishes to know other humans' way of life and intellectual thinking. If I explained my belief in theological sense, which I normally do to connect my understanding with those who does, I would say that "God" knowledge is Infinite and since His Knowledge is Infinite, that means His Words cannot be compile or written in just one Holy Scripture or even billion and billion of Holy Scriptures too because He is Infinite and His Knowledge is also Infinite. There is no end and His Knowledge will grow together with mankind in time.
I would also say that Science, Technology and other Knowledge too besides Theology, are also knowledge from 'God' and Theology is only a drop of water in a vast ocean of 'God's Knowledge. The more you learn about other knowledge, in whatever languages it may be, the more you will understand about 'God'. His language is universal and his knowledge is universal too, plus, it is Infinite.
It is written in the Holy Qur'an that if all the trees are used as pens and all the oceans on the surface of earth are used as inks, all these utilities would be exhausted or insufficient to write all His Words and His Knowledge.
'God' and mankind grow together with Time throughout the ages. Though it is mentioned in the Holy Qur'an that Allah has completed His religion (Islam) for mankind through His Inspiration by Himself or via His angel to Prophet Muhammad about one thousand five hundred years ago, He did not mention that He has completed His Knowledge for mankind. Prophet Muhammad himself has said that his religion was his religion and other religions were other religions. Allah has mentioned to him that there was no compulsion in Religion.
I would say to you that my Belief and Philosophy is, "Religion lies within every human heart and there it would remain until one fine day, you discover it for yourself." Where I got this statement? I heard and felt a whisper in my heart when I questioned myself the definition of religion, in cell number 23, landing three, F Hall, Changi Prison, in 1996.
I bought an air-rifle for my past time to shoot some small clay crabs at a small river next to an abandoned fish farming pond.This area was situated inside a compound of an empty and deteriorating house, which was formerly the main house for the fish-farming business. Its gates were always opened and I could go there anytime of the day. Adi used the air-rifle for shooting some birds and small iguanas. He managed to adapt himself with Bali environment and he had a good Javanese friend with him always.
One early morning, while I was shooting at the clay crabs alone, then came Yani to join me. Then later, Natalia and Nonik came to join me with the shooting activity. They took turned to shoot at the clay crabs. They seemed pleased with their shooting ability too. They told me that there was an old male spirit, wearing black attires in their world that scolded them for shooting the clay craps. He lived in that empty and deteriorating house within the compound. He said something like this to them, "Why must you shoot them? They have done nothing wrong to you." Was that question meant for me to see that lives of all living things are precious?
Natalia, Nonik, Anton and I went to many places of interest and sometimes we went to a discotheque at Melia Bali Sol Hotel, a five star hotel at Nusa Dua. Yani disallowed Adi to follow us because she did not want her brother to be influence by this kind of nightlife.
There they would take turn to dance with me but normally, I would not dance. I loved to watch people danced. Yani would not be aware of her being possessed by these spirit entities and I too sometimes found it difficult to identify who was who because they came and went without noticed. Yani sometimes would not be in the altered state of mind before or after they came. Its like she became so easy for them to take over her body and mind in a split second. The Yani I used to know became like someone else and sometimes she became quite upset with her own brother for minor mistakes. She seemed to become hot tempered and she experienced frequent headaches.
Nonik met me once about the schools in Bali. She asked me whether I knew any good schools in Bali that she could go to. She loved Bali and she thought of living in Bali with her aunty. She wished to quit school in her spirit world, in Jogyakarta and continued her education in Bali. She told me she was in SMA 3 (equivalent to second year college student in Singapore). I borrowed from my neighbour a telephone directory and she started jotting down all the SMA schools nearby and in Kuta area on a piece of paper. Her handwriting was neat if compared to Yani's handwriting.
One month later, Yani found the list of schools. She asked me whose handwriting was it and I told her that she had wrote it herself. I knew who wrote it but I wanted to see Yani's reaction. She denied it.
One afternoon, Yani was sitting on the floor at the living room eating. Then without any warning, she called out, "Lia, Lia." I was surprised to see her acted that way because I had never came across this behaviour before. I knew it was not Yani's personality.
I tried to communicate with this entity but it seemed that it could not converse with me at all. It could only gestures about with its hands and calling for "Lia, Lia." It was behaving and talking like a little child. It was trying to talk. So I guessed it meant Natalia's name.
I asked this entity whether it meant "Natalia". It nodded to me with its sad eyes. It saw a plate of rice in front and it grabbed a fist of rice and ate them as though it was very, very hungry. I let it be for awhile and I was wondering who was this entity. It seemed that Natalia was not around so I asked it where it was staying. It showed me with its hand at a direction which I had assumed was at the building where Yani went for her aerobic classes. I asked whether it was staying there. It nodded to me with an innocent child expression. Then I realised it was that small boy entity that Natalia had shouted at in the back seat of the car after Yani had completed her aerobic classes not long ago. He was very hungry and he kept eating the rice on the plate. I asked him whether he wanted to return to his home. He nodded and I took him by his hand while he was still eating the rice.
As I brought him to the car, I saw he walked with difficulties because his left leg was bend and his whole left foot was bending inward. He walked with the outer side of his left foot. He was a crippled. His left hand was sort of bend too. His whole body slanted to the left side and both his arms were lifted up as he walked, as though like a little child trying to balance himself as he learned to walk.
He was like sad when I put him inside the car. I was trying to send him back at his home as fast as I could and when I stepped on the accelerator, he was crying and gesturing to me to slow down because he was afraid of the speed of the car.
Upon reaching at the building where Yani attended her aerobic classes, I could see he was very sad to leave. He quietly looked at me with that sad innocent child face and with his right hand he waved goodbye to me. Then he left.
Yani regained her consciousness and she asked me why we were inside the car. I told her that we went for a car ride. I could not recall whether I had talked to Natalia about it or not, but this incident caused me pain within my heart, each time I thought about it. I felt I was cruel towards this little child. I could have let him eaten more food and probably waited for Natalia to meet me. I could have known this little boy better and made him part of the family sooner instead of sending him back to his home. I was pleased when sometime later he came to my house again.
It could only gestures about with its hands and calling for "Lia, Lia."
It was behaving like and talking like a little child. It was trying to talk.
So I guessed it meant Natalia's name.
I cried so hard when I reviewed this incidence while in Changi Prison
In late August 1993, I noticed that Yani felt quite lonely without her family near her and I knew she was also worried about her family at the village. We went back to East Java to fetch Yani's half-younger brother Adi to live with us in Bali. He was the second eldest in her family and he was about eighteen years old back then.
We visited Cak Pur's and Mbak Rani's home. There Mbak Rani told us that Busu felt lonely and sad too because I did not love him like I used to. So, he wished to remain silent. I waited at their home while Yani went back to fetch her half-brother. When Adi came, I was so happy to see him too. We left Cak Pur and Mbak Rani and I did not know how to explain to them about our whereabout for Yani disallowed me to let them know about our address in Bali for security reasons. I let her talked to them while I just remained silent. But they seemed to understand our situation. We bid them farewell and told them that we would visit them again whenever we could. That was the last time I saw and spoke to Cak Pur and Mbak Rani.
Back in Bali, most of the time we spend our time swimming at Ramayana Hotel at Jalan Kartika Plaza in Kuta to pass our time together and since Adi had never visited Bali before, we showed him most of the places of interest in Bali too. Adi felt thrilled to see tourists, especially White people for he had never had the chance to see those White people personally and he felt embarrassed whenever he saw female tourists in bikinis because for him it was just like seeing them naked.
There was one occasion in the evening, Yani, Adi and I were talking and joking in the living room. Yani told us that she could make money disappeared. She used Rp1000 currency to demonstrate. She rolled the currency note neatly, placed it on her right palm and closed it tight. The two ends of the rolled currency note were jutting out from her right palm and so she pushed it inside the palm. Then she brought her closed right palm about an inch away from her mouth and then blew on it slowly. She opened up her right palm and the money was gone. When Adi and I requested her to show us again her tricked she refused adamantly. Adi and I were confounded with her magic trick ability.
We had watched her very carefully. I was watching her hands and her mouth very carefully. Yani never showed me that tricked before and if she had known it, I was very sure she would have shown me earlier, especially, during the period when we were travelling to many parts of Indonesia. During that time, most of our time we played card games and I had shown her some card tricks or other tricks that I knew for entertainment. She had none to show me. The demonstration she did was exactly the same method that the spirit entities, Mbak Seri and Mastro, at Jombang, had demonstrated to Yani and I. Did she learn it from those spirits (Mbak Seri and Mastro) while in Jombang? Was she possessed by one spirit entity that Adi and I were not aware of? If she was, who was it? I do not know where she learned that trick and she never showed it again to anyone. I only saw her did that once.
One evening, Yani and I were in the living room watching television. Adi was out. Then out of a sudden, Yani laughed loudly in a male voice with her arms akimbo, "Ha..Ha..Ha." Then pointing at me it said, "I know this man. He is not good. I am the 'Jago' (Champion) here." Then he left Yani's body. I was caught by surprised and I felt frightful too with that unexpected demonstration. So while Yani was still in that hypnotised state of mind, angrily I called for Natalia to meet me. Natalia came and I could see that she was afraid of me. Angrily, I asked Natalia whether she was trying to play a joke with me. She claimed it was not her. "It's Ibu's nephew from Jogyakarta (in Central Java) that did that to Mas Robi. He was only joking and playing with Mas Robi. They are laughing now." I asked, "Where is he now?" She replied, "Outside". I went to the main door and angrily in soto voce manner, spoke to someone invisible outside, "If you dare, come and meet me personally. I want to meet you and you better apologise to me nicely." After that I went inside the living room. Natalia had left and Yani was still sitting on a chair and she was still in that altered state of mind. Then he came to meet me through Yani's body again. He stared at me with his arms akimbo and I angrily questioned him why he did that stupid performance upon me. "It's only a joke. I thought I could make you feel frighten. I love to joke." I listened to his explanation and I asked for his name. He called himself Anton. His full name was Anthony and he was a Christian. I told him not to do that kind of tricked on me again and I told him to apologise to me. He apologised honestly and happily. Then I ruffled his hair for him to feel awkward too. He stared at me but he knew I was only joking too. We laughed a little for awhile. He told me that he came to visit his Aunty in Bali for a vacation and he said his sister too came along together with him. After Mas Anton left Yani's body, Nonik, Mas Anton's sister came for awhile to introduce herself to me. I could not remember what we had talked about. Both of them were teenager spirits.
About this spirit entity, Mas Anton, he was not Natalia's 'husband' from Jakarta. I think if you asked me now, I would say honestly to you that they could trick me or impersonated themselves as different spirit entities with different names, and I would not know at all would I?
This reminded me of the religious teachings of the various faiths, which mentioned the 'evil spirits' and 'devils' could transform themselves into many forms and identities. I would also say that 'angels', 'deities' and God could also transform into many forms and identities too.
In the past, I had believed in all these evil and holy spirits but I do not believed in them now. Perhaps, I used to believe because I did not 'see' at them seriously and carefully; but after I 'see' them seriously and carefully, it was no longer a belief or faith.
God is an unseen Supreme Being and Creator. You need faith to believe in Him. If you 'see' God, then it is no longer faith. What would you call it then if it is no longer a belief or faith? I do not want to have Blind Faith or Blinded by Faith. I would just call it Theology Knowledge.
I would read the Holy Scriptures as a human who wishes to know other humans' way of life and intellectual thinking. If I explained my belief in theological sense, which I normally do to connect my understanding with those who does, I would say that "God" knowledge is Infinite and since His Knowledge is Infinite, that means His Words cannot be compile or written in just one Holy Scripture or even billion and billion of Holy Scriptures too because He is Infinite and His Knowledge is also Infinite. There is no end and His Knowledge will grow together with mankind in time.
I would also say that Science, Technology and other Knowledge too besides Theology, are also knowledge from 'God' and Theology is only a drop of water in a vast ocean of 'God's Knowledge. The more you learn about other knowledge, in whatever languages it may be, the more you will understand about 'God'. His language is universal and his knowledge is universal too, plus, it is Infinite.
It is written in the Holy Qur'an that if all the trees are used as pens and all the oceans on the surface of earth are used as inks, all these utilities would be exhausted or insufficient to write all His Words and His Knowledge.
'God' and mankind grow together with Time throughout the ages. Though it is mentioned in the Holy Qur'an that Allah has completed His religion (Islam) for mankind through His Inspiration by Himself or via His angel to Prophet Muhammad about one thousand five hundred years ago, He did not mention that He has completed His Knowledge for mankind. Prophet Muhammad himself has said that his religion was his religion and other religions were other religions. Allah has mentioned to him that there was no compulsion in Religion.
I would say to you that my Belief and Philosophy is, "Religion lies within every human heart and there it would remain until one fine day, you discover it for yourself." Where I got this statement? I heard and felt a whisper in my heart when I questioned myself the definition of religion, in cell number 23, landing three, F Hall, Changi Prison, in 1996.
I bought an air-rifle for my past time to shoot some small clay crabs at a small river next to an abandoned fish farming pond.This area was situated inside a compound of an empty and deteriorating house, which was formerly the main house for the fish-farming business. Its gates were always opened and I could go there anytime of the day. Adi used the air-rifle for shooting some birds and small iguanas. He managed to adapt himself with Bali environment and he had a good Javanese friend with him always.
One early morning, while I was shooting at the clay crabs alone, then came Yani to join me. Then later, Natalia and Nonik came to join me with the shooting activity. They took turned to shoot at the clay crabs. They seemed pleased with their shooting ability too. They told me that there was an old male spirit, wearing black attires in their world that scolded them for shooting the clay craps. He lived in that empty and deteriorating house within the compound. He said something like this to them, "Why must you shoot them? They have done nothing wrong to you." Was that question meant for me to see that lives of all living things are precious?
Natalia, Nonik, Anton and I went to many places of interest and sometimes we went to a discotheque at Melia Bali Sol Hotel, a five star hotel at Nusa Dua. Yani disallowed Adi to follow us because she did not want her brother to be influence by this kind of nightlife.
There they would take turn to dance with me but normally, I would not dance. I loved to watch people danced. Yani would not be aware of her being possessed by these spirit entities and I too sometimes found it difficult to identify who was who because they came and went without noticed. Yani sometimes would not be in the altered state of mind before or after they came. Its like she became so easy for them to take over her body and mind in a split second. The Yani I used to know became like someone else and sometimes she became quite upset with her own brother for minor mistakes. She seemed to become hot tempered and she experienced frequent headaches.
Nonik met me once about the schools in Bali. She asked me whether I knew any good schools in Bali that she could go to. She loved Bali and she thought of living in Bali with her aunty. She wished to quit school in her spirit world, in Jogyakarta and continued her education in Bali. She told me she was in SMA 3 (equivalent to second year college student in Singapore). I borrowed from my neighbour a telephone directory and she started jotting down all the SMA schools nearby and in Kuta area on a piece of paper. Her handwriting was neat if compared to Yani's handwriting.
One month later, Yani found the list of schools. She asked me whose handwriting was it and I told her that she had wrote it herself. I knew who wrote it but I wanted to see Yani's reaction. She denied it.
One afternoon, Yani was sitting on the floor at the living room eating. Then without any warning, she called out, "Lia, Lia." I was surprised to see her acted that way because I had never came across this behaviour before. I knew it was not Yani's personality.
I tried to communicate with this entity but it seemed that it could not converse with me at all. It could only gestures about with its hands and calling for "Lia, Lia." It was behaving and talking like a little child. It was trying to talk. So I guessed it meant Natalia's name.
I asked this entity whether it meant "Natalia". It nodded to me with its sad eyes. It saw a plate of rice in front and it grabbed a fist of rice and ate them as though it was very, very hungry. I let it be for awhile and I was wondering who was this entity. It seemed that Natalia was not around so I asked it where it was staying. It showed me with its hand at a direction which I had assumed was at the building where Yani went for her aerobic classes. I asked whether it was staying there. It nodded to me with an innocent child expression. Then I realised it was that small boy entity that Natalia had shouted at in the back seat of the car after Yani had completed her aerobic classes not long ago. He was very hungry and he kept eating the rice on the plate. I asked him whether he wanted to return to his home. He nodded and I took him by his hand while he was still eating the rice.
As I brought him to the car, I saw he walked with difficulties because his left leg was bend and his whole left foot was bending inward. He walked with the outer side of his left foot. He was a crippled. His left hand was sort of bend too. His whole body slanted to the left side and both his arms were lifted up as he walked, as though like a little child trying to balance himself as he learned to walk.
He was like sad when I put him inside the car. I was trying to send him back at his home as fast as I could and when I stepped on the accelerator, he was crying and gesturing to me to slow down because he was afraid of the speed of the car.
Upon reaching at the building where Yani attended her aerobic classes, I could see he was very sad to leave. He quietly looked at me with that sad innocent child face and with his right hand he waved goodbye to me. Then he left.
Yani regained her consciousness and she asked me why we were inside the car. I told her that we went for a car ride. I could not recall whether I had talked to Natalia about it or not, but this incident caused me pain within my heart, each time I thought about it. I felt I was cruel towards this little child. I could have let him eaten more food and probably waited for Natalia to meet me. I could have known this little boy better and made him part of the family sooner instead of sending him back to his home. I was pleased when sometime later he came to my house again.
# posted by Zulkifli @ 12:12 AM 
