Wednesday, December 13, 2006
LIFE - Mind Of A Mankind - Chapter Fourteen
HOW COME LIKE THAT
"Mas Robi, next time please do not ask me to do that again.
I pity that girl and it is not good to do that."
Natalia's regret (1993, Bali)
In Bali, we bought a Honda Civic car, 1984 model. We bought it to travel all over Bali and understand the customs, traditions and religion of Balinese. Furthermore, it would be difficult for us to go from one place to another without private transportation.Yani took up driving lessons and I taught her some driving skills too. Then finally, we got ourselves driving licenses. We spent most of the time driving around Bali, going to the places of interest and Yani took up aerobic classes at a residential building next to the side of the main road of Jalan Bypass - Tuban, which was not far from our home. Natalia mentioned to me that she learned driving with Yani. She also mentioned to me that she always followed Yani for aerobics classes too and they would do aerobics together.
One morning,Yani and I were washing the car outside the garage, in front of our house then suddenly she faced to the house of our neighbour opposite our house and spoke loudly, "Good Morning Mbak Rita. Ya, I'm washing the car." Thinking that she was talking to someone, I looked at our neighbour's house and there was nobody there. I knew it was Natalia talking to someone at our neighbour's house and I asked her who it was. She replied, "Oh! Nothing, Mas Robi." A few questions immediately popped up in my mind, "Who is this Mbak Rita? Is it Margarita or some other spirit entity by the name of Mbak Rita? I know our neighbour and there is nobody by the name of Mbak Rita?" I know Natalia call Margarita Mbak Rita too? Is Margarita and Rita the same entity? And I don't know that Margarita is here in Bali now?" I thought about it for a short while but I did not pursue the matter with Natalia further.
Natalia began to miss her 'husband', Mas Anton, in Jakarta although she had mentioned to me that she already had some spirit friends in Bali, especially within our neighbourhood area, to entertain her. She told me that whenever she listened to her favourite song (a sad song about two lovers being together but her lover married someone else; sang by a popular female Malaysian artist (and Yani too loved that song. Yani too told me that she felt sad when she listened to that song). I could see from her expression that she really felt sad about it. I advised her to be patient and I told her that I believed Mas Anton would come later after he had settled his work duties in Jakarta. At one occasion, she mentioned to me that a male friend of hers from her world had invited her to go to Jogyakarta and she asked for my permission whether she could follow him there. She did not mention to me about her male friend's name and I did not ask her about it too. She told me that she needed some cash for the journey. I told her that I had no objection and I would provide the cash for her. Then a few days later she decided not to go without any reason given to me.
One late morning, Yani was sleeping and she was like having a bad dream. I noticed that she was sort of rousing herself up from her sleep. So I went to her but she rose up from her reposed position to sit on the bed and she was so angry with me. She sat up with her arms in akimbo. It was someone else staring at me with angry eyes and she said, "You make your wife worry and she is sad about it." This entity spoke like a child and I had the impressioned that it was a boy entity. He shouted at me, "You are not good! You are a bad man! I don't like you!" He looked angry so I queried him, "Who are you talking about? You mean my wife Yani?" He shook his head. "You mean my wife, Noorasmah?" I queried him. He said nothing but nodded his head. "She's in Indonesia? Which hotel is she staying? Where is she now? Is she in Jakarta?" In surprised response I had queried him further all these questions. He stared at me and then went back to sleep and closed his eyes. So I tried to make him talked but he just refused to speak to me. While he was trying to go away from me, I was trying to make him speak to me more so I asked, "Who are you? You know my wife Noorasmah? I want you to tell her that I still love her." That minute when I spoke that statement, Yani suddenly gave me a hard punched above the corner of my right eye and woke up from her sleep. She stared hard at me and lied down. I asked her what was wrong with her and why she did that to me. She seemed very angry and she cried. Then she went back to sleep.
Later, when Yani had woke up from her sleep, she did not ask me about that incident but she was sulking. Somehow she still remembered my last statement. It seemed that when I said that statement to that spirit boy entity, Yani personality had returned. In my mind, I told myself that probably that spirit boy entity was trying to cause problem between Yani and I. He left Yani's body at the right time when I spoke out that statement and he could make Yani regained her personality immediately. I was also actually wondering maybe I had mistook Yani for that spirit boy entity, which had supposedly possessed Yani's body. I also had wondered to myself whether I had spoken to Yani herself instead of someone else. Any common sense person would say that I was actually talking to Yani and not some possessing boy spirit.
Yani asked me why I had said that statement to her. I told her that she was like having a bad dream and so I was trying to see whether she was alright. She said that I was talking nonsense. I told her my life with Noorasmah was over and that was in the past. I did not want to think about it anymore. Yani managed to cool herself down and we did not talk about it anymore. I was actually upset and angry too with myself for talking to that boy entity, which supposedly possessed Yani. I was regretting at what I had said to Yani. In my mind, I was thinking maybe it was Natalia and if it was, I was going to scold her.
Later, when I was sitting down at the dining table, Yani sat opposite me and Natalia came to meet me. This what she had said to me, "Mas Robi, Ibu told me not to meet Mas Robi today because Ibu said that Mas Robi is angry." I asked her angrily, "Natalia was it you?" She replied, "No! Mas Robi." I spoke loudly to her, "Then if it's not you, then WHO!" She was like feeling sad and maybe a little bit angry with me too. "No! It wasn't me. I wasn't around." I asked her, "Then WHO!" Natalia replied, "I don't know but Ibu told me that she saw a boy wearing white shirt and red short like the SD (primary school) uniform. She saw him running out and away from the house when she had returned home. My anger and suspicion on Natalia lessen and then I apologised to her. Then Natalia left Yani's body without a word spoken. I had to trust Natalia's and Ibu's word for it because I saw Natalia sincere expression and I had thought of her like my own sister, though she lived in the unseen realm. Then I let the matter to be forgotten.
The question here is about my angry thoughts towards Natalia. It was in my mind. How did Natalia know about it though she had said that Ibu had informed her about it? I have to say this one more time. If I had said it to Yani about my anger thoughts towards Natalia, then it would be valid to say that Yani knew about it and turned herself like Natalia's personality, but Yani did not have that knowledge about my anger with Natalia. How did Yani know about a boy entity when she herself did not know about it unless she was pretending to be that spirit boy entity? How could Yani know about it if I did not tell her about it? And how did Natalia know about it?
Yani was a person who was afraid of ghosts, evil spirits and devils. Yani was not that sort who believed that she had spirits following her around because she was also afraid of being possessed too. Why would Yani behaved in such manner to make me talked about Noorasmah or to make me feel angry and maybe distrust her own mental instability? If she had impersonated those personalities of Natalia or Margarita or Mas Anton, the questioned here is, "Why must she do that?" What she would gain from doing that? Was she really suffering from multi-split personalities or was she suffering from delusion? If she was a manic depressed person, I would be the first one to know.
I was waiting for Yani in the car at the building that she had attended her aerobic classes. I went there to fetch her. After her aerobic classes she saw me and entered the car to sit in the front seat but before she could close the car door, she turned around to face at the back seats and shouted, "Oh! Ah! You cannot follow. You cannot follow. Get out! No! You cannot follow. Come on, get out!" I was so shocked and I turned around to see what was it that she was shouting at. There was nothing there. I asked her why she was shouting. She told me, "Mas Robi, there's a small boy who wants to follow me. I'm telling him that he cannot follow us." She turned to face at the back seat again, "You cannot follow us. Get out. Get out from the car." It was Natalia shouting and not Yani. Then she turned around and sat down quietly. I drove off after that then I asked her, "Who was that small boy?" She said, "I met him here outside the building. He look so dirty and he lives nearby the building in one of those shanty houses by the road side. I gave him some money to buy some food and snacks for himself. He loves to eat Es Dong Dong (ice-cream cone)." I did not ask further about it and we talked for awhile about what she did during the aerobic session and then Natalia left Yani's body. Yani was in that hypnotised state for a few seconds and she spoke to me about her aerobic session too. We did not talk about that invisible boy at the car back seat. Yani was not aware about that incident. I knew it was useless to ask her about that because in the past when I mentioned to her about something Margarita or Natalia did or said, she would be confused and lost. She would not understand my questions. If I told her she would say that I was talking nonsense.
Margarita and Natalia had warned me before not to mention anything to Yani about their possessions and meetings with me. They had told me that if I did that, they would not come and meet me again. I tried to tell Yani about them in Bali but each time I told her, I noticed that she was frightened and she would say that I was talking nonsense and she would disbelieve it. She would refuse to accept the facts that she was possessed. She would take it that I was joking about it even when I was talking to her seriously and she would tell me to stop talking about it. Due to that I stopped talking about it to Yani and we would not talk about it again. I just let things be and let it passed.
I needed to tell Yani about it and there was no one else to tell to because I did not have any close friends. I was a fugitive and I needed to be in low profile. Furthermore I needed to clarify to her the truth about her being possessed and she disbelieved me. This is my way to tell you that I was not hallucinating or making up the stories. I wanted to see the truth about my encounter with those spirits in Indonesia. I needed to check and balance the rationality of my thoughts because after I had met them through Yani, I was always wondering about them and it seemed that they had spent most of the times with me. It was like a time loss for Yani and sometimes Yani was puzzled about her 'absent-mindedness', which I could see was genuine and it was not an act to delude or please me.
Then Natalia would meet me to remind me that I was trying to inform Yani about her. I would deny it but she would say that she saw me trying to tell Yani about her. I would keep quiet about it. Natalia was not angry with me but she would sort like pleading with me, childishly crying and wishing that I stopped trying to tell Yani about her or the others. Then she would remind me, "If Mas Robi tell Mbak Yani, I will not meet Mas Robi again." Why are they afraid of me telling Yani? I do not know their reasons. So I would just remind myself not to say anything to Yani about them again and furthermore I loved them like my own family though they were from the world of the unseen. I did not want to lose them either and I enjoyed their companionship too.
Once we had patronised a 24 hrs fast food chain at Legian Street in Kuta, Bali. It was late at night and there were no customers except Yani and I. We ordered our meals and sat down to eat inside the restaurant premises. As we ate, Natalia came to meet me to eat together with me. She said the food was delicious. We were talking about general matters about what she was doing before her appearance and sort of joking about it. I saw there was only one crew at the counter and I was in a jovial mood. So I told Natalia, "Natalia, why not you go to that young girl at the counter and whisper to her ears to order all the meals that they have. So that we can see her reactions later." I thought it would be fun to make ourselves quietly laughed at the young girl at the counter. Natalia giggled about the idea and she was also quite reluctant at first but I persuaded her to do it for fun sake. She left Yani's body and Yani was in that hypnotised state of mind while quietly chewing her food.
About a minute later to my surprised, I heard that young girl at the front counter started to order all the meals that they had in the their menu and I looked at her. She was ordering the meals over the microphone. There was no customer at the counter and I looked around the restaurant to see whether there were other customers too. There were none. The supervisor came out from the kitchen to see what was happening. I could see from the supervisor's reactioned to that young girl, "Where are the customers? Who are you ordering for?" I could see from my seat that the young girl was confused herself. Then while the supervisor was talking to that young girl at the counter, Natalia came back on, "Mas Robi, next time please do not ask me to do that again. I pity that girl and it is not good to do that." Then she left.
If Yani was suffering from multi-split personalities, she would not be able to do that tricked on that young girl. It proved to me that Natalia really existed and she was an entity that had her own mind or intelligence. Natalia was not Yani's imagination and Yani did not impersonate the characters of Natalia. Unconsciously, I had experimented and proved to myself that Natalia really possessed Yani to meet me.
"Mas Robi, next time please do not ask me to do that again.
I pity that girl and it is not good to do that."
Natalia's regret (1993, Bali)
In Bali, we bought a Honda Civic car, 1984 model. We bought it to travel all over Bali and understand the customs, traditions and religion of Balinese. Furthermore, it would be difficult for us to go from one place to another without private transportation.Yani took up driving lessons and I taught her some driving skills too. Then finally, we got ourselves driving licenses. We spent most of the time driving around Bali, going to the places of interest and Yani took up aerobic classes at a residential building next to the side of the main road of Jalan Bypass - Tuban, which was not far from our home. Natalia mentioned to me that she learned driving with Yani. She also mentioned to me that she always followed Yani for aerobics classes too and they would do aerobics together.
One morning,Yani and I were washing the car outside the garage, in front of our house then suddenly she faced to the house of our neighbour opposite our house and spoke loudly, "Good Morning Mbak Rita. Ya, I'm washing the car." Thinking that she was talking to someone, I looked at our neighbour's house and there was nobody there. I knew it was Natalia talking to someone at our neighbour's house and I asked her who it was. She replied, "Oh! Nothing, Mas Robi." A few questions immediately popped up in my mind, "Who is this Mbak Rita? Is it Margarita or some other spirit entity by the name of Mbak Rita? I know our neighbour and there is nobody by the name of Mbak Rita?" I know Natalia call Margarita Mbak Rita too? Is Margarita and Rita the same entity? And I don't know that Margarita is here in Bali now?" I thought about it for a short while but I did not pursue the matter with Natalia further.
Natalia began to miss her 'husband', Mas Anton, in Jakarta although she had mentioned to me that she already had some spirit friends in Bali, especially within our neighbourhood area, to entertain her. She told me that whenever she listened to her favourite song (a sad song about two lovers being together but her lover married someone else; sang by a popular female Malaysian artist (and Yani too loved that song. Yani too told me that she felt sad when she listened to that song). I could see from her expression that she really felt sad about it. I advised her to be patient and I told her that I believed Mas Anton would come later after he had settled his work duties in Jakarta. At one occasion, she mentioned to me that a male friend of hers from her world had invited her to go to Jogyakarta and she asked for my permission whether she could follow him there. She did not mention to me about her male friend's name and I did not ask her about it too. She told me that she needed some cash for the journey. I told her that I had no objection and I would provide the cash for her. Then a few days later she decided not to go without any reason given to me.
One late morning, Yani was sleeping and she was like having a bad dream. I noticed that she was sort of rousing herself up from her sleep. So I went to her but she rose up from her reposed position to sit on the bed and she was so angry with me. She sat up with her arms in akimbo. It was someone else staring at me with angry eyes and she said, "You make your wife worry and she is sad about it." This entity spoke like a child and I had the impressioned that it was a boy entity. He shouted at me, "You are not good! You are a bad man! I don't like you!" He looked angry so I queried him, "Who are you talking about? You mean my wife Yani?" He shook his head. "You mean my wife, Noorasmah?" I queried him. He said nothing but nodded his head. "She's in Indonesia? Which hotel is she staying? Where is she now? Is she in Jakarta?" In surprised response I had queried him further all these questions. He stared at me and then went back to sleep and closed his eyes. So I tried to make him talked but he just refused to speak to me. While he was trying to go away from me, I was trying to make him speak to me more so I asked, "Who are you? You know my wife Noorasmah? I want you to tell her that I still love her." That minute when I spoke that statement, Yani suddenly gave me a hard punched above the corner of my right eye and woke up from her sleep. She stared hard at me and lied down. I asked her what was wrong with her and why she did that to me. She seemed very angry and she cried. Then she went back to sleep.
Later, when Yani had woke up from her sleep, she did not ask me about that incident but she was sulking. Somehow she still remembered my last statement. It seemed that when I said that statement to that spirit boy entity, Yani personality had returned. In my mind, I told myself that probably that spirit boy entity was trying to cause problem between Yani and I. He left Yani's body at the right time when I spoke out that statement and he could make Yani regained her personality immediately. I was also actually wondering maybe I had mistook Yani for that spirit boy entity, which had supposedly possessed Yani's body. I also had wondered to myself whether I had spoken to Yani herself instead of someone else. Any common sense person would say that I was actually talking to Yani and not some possessing boy spirit.
Yani asked me why I had said that statement to her. I told her that she was like having a bad dream and so I was trying to see whether she was alright. She said that I was talking nonsense. I told her my life with Noorasmah was over and that was in the past. I did not want to think about it anymore. Yani managed to cool herself down and we did not talk about it anymore. I was actually upset and angry too with myself for talking to that boy entity, which supposedly possessed Yani. I was regretting at what I had said to Yani. In my mind, I was thinking maybe it was Natalia and if it was, I was going to scold her.
Later, when I was sitting down at the dining table, Yani sat opposite me and Natalia came to meet me. This what she had said to me, "Mas Robi, Ibu told me not to meet Mas Robi today because Ibu said that Mas Robi is angry." I asked her angrily, "Natalia was it you?" She replied, "No! Mas Robi." I spoke loudly to her, "Then if it's not you, then WHO!" She was like feeling sad and maybe a little bit angry with me too. "No! It wasn't me. I wasn't around." I asked her, "Then WHO!" Natalia replied, "I don't know but Ibu told me that she saw a boy wearing white shirt and red short like the SD (primary school) uniform. She saw him running out and away from the house when she had returned home. My anger and suspicion on Natalia lessen and then I apologised to her. Then Natalia left Yani's body without a word spoken. I had to trust Natalia's and Ibu's word for it because I saw Natalia sincere expression and I had thought of her like my own sister, though she lived in the unseen realm. Then I let the matter to be forgotten.
The question here is about my angry thoughts towards Natalia. It was in my mind. How did Natalia know about it though she had said that Ibu had informed her about it? I have to say this one more time. If I had said it to Yani about my anger thoughts towards Natalia, then it would be valid to say that Yani knew about it and turned herself like Natalia's personality, but Yani did not have that knowledge about my anger with Natalia. How did Yani know about a boy entity when she herself did not know about it unless she was pretending to be that spirit boy entity? How could Yani know about it if I did not tell her about it? And how did Natalia know about it?
Yani was a person who was afraid of ghosts, evil spirits and devils. Yani was not that sort who believed that she had spirits following her around because she was also afraid of being possessed too. Why would Yani behaved in such manner to make me talked about Noorasmah or to make me feel angry and maybe distrust her own mental instability? If she had impersonated those personalities of Natalia or Margarita or Mas Anton, the questioned here is, "Why must she do that?" What she would gain from doing that? Was she really suffering from multi-split personalities or was she suffering from delusion? If she was a manic depressed person, I would be the first one to know.
I was waiting for Yani in the car at the building that she had attended her aerobic classes. I went there to fetch her. After her aerobic classes she saw me and entered the car to sit in the front seat but before she could close the car door, she turned around to face at the back seats and shouted, "Oh! Ah! You cannot follow. You cannot follow. Get out! No! You cannot follow. Come on, get out!" I was so shocked and I turned around to see what was it that she was shouting at. There was nothing there. I asked her why she was shouting. She told me, "Mas Robi, there's a small boy who wants to follow me. I'm telling him that he cannot follow us." She turned to face at the back seat again, "You cannot follow us. Get out. Get out from the car." It was Natalia shouting and not Yani. Then she turned around and sat down quietly. I drove off after that then I asked her, "Who was that small boy?" She said, "I met him here outside the building. He look so dirty and he lives nearby the building in one of those shanty houses by the road side. I gave him some money to buy some food and snacks for himself. He loves to eat Es Dong Dong (ice-cream cone)." I did not ask further about it and we talked for awhile about what she did during the aerobic session and then Natalia left Yani's body. Yani was in that hypnotised state for a few seconds and she spoke to me about her aerobic session too. We did not talk about that invisible boy at the car back seat. Yani was not aware about that incident. I knew it was useless to ask her about that because in the past when I mentioned to her about something Margarita or Natalia did or said, she would be confused and lost. She would not understand my questions. If I told her she would say that I was talking nonsense.
Margarita and Natalia had warned me before not to mention anything to Yani about their possessions and meetings with me. They had told me that if I did that, they would not come and meet me again. I tried to tell Yani about them in Bali but each time I told her, I noticed that she was frightened and she would say that I was talking nonsense and she would disbelieve it. She would refuse to accept the facts that she was possessed. She would take it that I was joking about it even when I was talking to her seriously and she would tell me to stop talking about it. Due to that I stopped talking about it to Yani and we would not talk about it again. I just let things be and let it passed.
I needed to tell Yani about it and there was no one else to tell to because I did not have any close friends. I was a fugitive and I needed to be in low profile. Furthermore I needed to clarify to her the truth about her being possessed and she disbelieved me. This is my way to tell you that I was not hallucinating or making up the stories. I wanted to see the truth about my encounter with those spirits in Indonesia. I needed to check and balance the rationality of my thoughts because after I had met them through Yani, I was always wondering about them and it seemed that they had spent most of the times with me. It was like a time loss for Yani and sometimes Yani was puzzled about her 'absent-mindedness', which I could see was genuine and it was not an act to delude or please me.
Then Natalia would meet me to remind me that I was trying to inform Yani about her. I would deny it but she would say that she saw me trying to tell Yani about her. I would keep quiet about it. Natalia was not angry with me but she would sort like pleading with me, childishly crying and wishing that I stopped trying to tell Yani about her or the others. Then she would remind me, "If Mas Robi tell Mbak Yani, I will not meet Mas Robi again." Why are they afraid of me telling Yani? I do not know their reasons. So I would just remind myself not to say anything to Yani about them again and furthermore I loved them like my own family though they were from the world of the unseen. I did not want to lose them either and I enjoyed their companionship too.
Once we had patronised a 24 hrs fast food chain at Legian Street in Kuta, Bali. It was late at night and there were no customers except Yani and I. We ordered our meals and sat down to eat inside the restaurant premises. As we ate, Natalia came to meet me to eat together with me. She said the food was delicious. We were talking about general matters about what she was doing before her appearance and sort of joking about it. I saw there was only one crew at the counter and I was in a jovial mood. So I told Natalia, "Natalia, why not you go to that young girl at the counter and whisper to her ears to order all the meals that they have. So that we can see her reactions later." I thought it would be fun to make ourselves quietly laughed at the young girl at the counter. Natalia giggled about the idea and she was also quite reluctant at first but I persuaded her to do it for fun sake. She left Yani's body and Yani was in that hypnotised state of mind while quietly chewing her food.
About a minute later to my surprised, I heard that young girl at the front counter started to order all the meals that they had in the their menu and I looked at her. She was ordering the meals over the microphone. There was no customer at the counter and I looked around the restaurant to see whether there were other customers too. There were none. The supervisor came out from the kitchen to see what was happening. I could see from the supervisor's reactioned to that young girl, "Where are the customers? Who are you ordering for?" I could see from my seat that the young girl was confused herself. Then while the supervisor was talking to that young girl at the counter, Natalia came back on, "Mas Robi, next time please do not ask me to do that again. I pity that girl and it is not good to do that." Then she left.
If Yani was suffering from multi-split personalities, she would not be able to do that tricked on that young girl. It proved to me that Natalia really existed and she was an entity that had her own mind or intelligence. Natalia was not Yani's imagination and Yani did not impersonate the characters of Natalia. Unconsciously, I had experimented and proved to myself that Natalia really possessed Yani to meet me.
# posted by Zulkifli @ 12:08 AM 
