Wednesday, September 19, 2007
LIFE - Mind Of A Mankind - Chapter Twenty-Nine
I LOVE BALI
AND
I DIED IN BALI
"Please tell Impi Gordon and Immi Natalia not to forget Papi."
Mochamad Robi Hussein alias Zulkifli Mahmood (14th December 1995, Bali)
Somewhere in the middle of 1994, Yani and I were at the mini-restaurant during the day taking care of the business. While we were sitting and talking about matters pertaining to our business at the table outside the mini-restaurant next to a pathway, Natalia suddenly spoke to me. Yani was not even in a dazed when that happened. I was not surprised because this happened quite often until I was so accustomed to it. She asked me whether I could give her Rp 20000 because there was a cash shortaged after sending Mbah to see a doctor in her world. She said that Mbah was sitting on an empty chair opposite of her. I asked her what had happened to Mbah and she mentioned that after Mbah had gone back to see her family back in Jogyakarta, Central Java, she became sicked quite oftenly. Natalia had mentioned to me weeks before that Mbah had gone back to her village to visit her family there. So, I told her to take the money from the cash drawer. She went to the cash drawer and put her hands inside it. I noticed that Yani was like in a dazed for about fifteen seconds or so. I did not bother to go near her to see what was happening because I knew that she would not like it; and the employees were busy doing their worked at the front, inside and back in the kitchen of the mini-restaurant. After that, she came back to me and told me that she had taken the money. Mbah had helped her to do that. I just believed her and I told her to take care of Mbah and make-sured that Mbah had enough rest. Natalia kissed me on my cheek and left Yani's body. Yani was in a dazed for a few seconds and I shook Yani's hand to wake her up. Well, we did continue our conversation because she seemed like confused of what to talk about. Later I did not check the cash drawer whether there was a cash shortaged because I did not even know how much was the cash balance or cash in from the sales for that day and I did not even bothered to counter checked it because for me Rp 20000 was a small amount.
We bought a bicycle for Yani to cycle around Kuta when she felt bored at the mini-restaurant. One evening, after she had cycled to a nearby night market to buy some fruits, she told me that she had fallen into a small drainage while cycling. She was aware that she had fallen into the small drainage because the front handle of the cycling was shaky and she was not hurt. She showed me the minor scratched on her lower right leg. After having said that, Yani's familiar voice suddenly changed to Heru's voice and Heru smiled at me. His eyes was wide opened and Heru blamed Soni for shaking the bicycle's front handle while Mami Yani was cycling; and Budi was sitting at the back of the bicycle. Soni wanted to control the bicycle for himself. I laughed and I was a little angry with Soni too for being foolished for it was lucky that this incident had happened at the shortcut route of a small deserted street that Yani had taken. Soni met me and he bit his right forefinger at the corner of his mouth. He looked down and I could see that he was also afraid of me that I might scold him. I told him nicely not to do that again. He looked up at me and said "Sorry. Om Bi" softly and he gave me a happy smile before he left Yani's body.
There was one occasion whereby, Yani was sillied by the dogs while she was riding the bicycle. The dogs were barking all around her and she nearly fell down. Later, Heru told me that the dogs were chasing after Mami Yani because Soni, Budi and Heru were with her. And Mami Yani was not aware of those dogs because Soni, Budi and Heru were riding the bicycle. I saw the dogs were crowding around Yani from a distance while I was sitting at one of the table outside the mini-restaurant. I ran to her but before I reached her, the dogs all went away. I had noticed Yani stopped and stared at the dogs and they all ran away, just like that.
My car broke down one day and I had sent the car for a repaired at the workshop. So, during those periods when I had no car to drive to work, we had to take the public transport called by the local as "Bimo" or a van. While waiting for the "Bimo" by the road side, Heru was talking to me. I asked Heru, how he followed his Mami. Using his hands, he pointed and told me that he could follow Mami Yani by sitting on the her elbows, legs, chest, shoulder and head. I did not understand what he meant by that and I was also puzzled with his explanations. I did not know how to question him anymore, especially about the elbows, legs and chest but I could imagine about how he would follow Yani on her head and shoulders. I had imagined that he would either sit on Yani's head or shoulders. So I asked him where he would normally sit. Heru told me that he would normally sit on Yani's right shoulder.
When it was night time in his world he said that he would on all the lights in the house in his world. He would use a stool to stand on and switched on all the lights and later in the morning when Mbah came to fetch him home to Natalia's home and if he was not at home because he followed me to the mini-restaurant, Mbah would off all the lights for him.
In April 1995, Yani went to Jakarta for two weeks holiday on her own. I stayed behind to take care of our food business. Natalia, Budi, Soni and Heru followed her. Natalia told me that she wanted to see Mbak Margarita and Gordon would stay behind to take care of his business in the spirit's world. Upon their returned, Heru told me that the house of Tante Rita was huge and they had everything. He said that they were chauffeured around in Jakarta in a maroon colour car and he played with the elevators in tall buildings. He also said that Tante Rita had a big stomach and she was unabled to do many things with them. He had enjoyed the train ride from Jakarta to Surabaya; and from Surabaya they took a flight back to Bali. He said that when Impi Gordon saw them returned home, he hugged and kissed all of them.
Heru also told me everything that Mami Yani did while in Jakarta before she even tell me anything. Later, when I narrated to Yani some parts about her holiday in Jakarta, she was totally surprised. Yani had stayed in a small hotel in Jakarta and she went to see her old friends. She also went to an amusement park "Dunia Fantasi" (Fantasy World) in Jakarta at Ancol and she even went to a discotheque in Jakarta alone. There, she met a man. Heru told me all these and when Yani told me what she did in Jakarta, I listened to her like I heard it for the first time. She left out the discotheque and the man she had met there. When I told her about her outing to a discotheque and meeting a man there, she was very shocked. I could see that she felt guilty conscience. She showed me the business card of that man she met in the discotheque. She told me that the man had invited her to his room but she had rejected his offer. He gave her his card should she changed her mind. I was not jealous or angry but I was wondering why she had left that part of the story from me. She thought that I had learned the art of mind reading or I had learned the art of black magic before I knew her. I kept my secret from her about Heru. Heru was liked a spy for me.
A month and the half past then Yani told me that she was pregnant and we went to see a doctor for a medical examination. The doctor scolded me for not sending Yani sooner for the medical examination. I took his scolding and from that day onward Yani went for her medical checked up regularly. We saw on the ultra sonar monitor that the baby was going to be a boy. We were so happy.
It came to my mind about Heru's information about Margarita's stomach that was big and she could not do many things with them. Was Heru implying to me that Margarita was Mami Yani or was he trying to tell me that Mami Yani was already pregnant or was she going to be pregnant?
Adi had a front tooth missing and once Heru had commented to me that Budi had a front tooth missing too. Was he implying to me that Budi was Adi? Was it a coincidence or was it a fictitious story from Heru?
I remembered the comment I had made about 'angels' or 'guardian spirits', that they could cross-over to another human being's mind or getting their Selves involved in humans' lives to do their angelic mission. I am very sure now that souls of humans could do that in the world of Hereafter. I think that was what Heru meant.
One day, Heru asked me for a 'nen-nen' during Yani's pregnancy. He had asked me when he wanted to sleep. So, I told him back then that Mami Yani could give him the 'nen-nen' now and why not asked her. Heru was reluctant at first but I had told him that Mami Yani would not mind at all and she would not scold him. Then he left Yani's body.
After a few minutes while I was still waiting to see what would happen after Heru had requested for that 'nen-nen', I heard Yani talked in her sleep. "What! Oh! So pitiful, come." In her sleep, she pulled-up her T-shirt and opened the right cup of her bra and her right breast was exposed. I was anxious and I observed it very carefully. I had actually seen some slight movements on her right breast's nipple was moving as though someone was suckling it but there was no breast milk coming out of it. Yani even had used her left hand to do stroke motions as though she was stroking someone's head and her face was looking at her right breast but her eyes were closed. At one time Yani had even exclaimed loudly, "Ouch! Don't bite." This went on for a few minutes and then Yani closed up the right cup of her bra and slept quietly. Then Heru came to meet me with his happy childish smile. I asked him whether it was nice and he was smiling shyly but he was happy. So, I told him that the next time he wanted to 'nen-nen', he could just ask Mami Yani for it.
When Yani woke-up from her sleep next morning, I asked her whether she had dreamt anything. She said that she had dreamt of a white boy who told her that he had never 'nen-nen' before because he did not have a mother and then she had breast fed the boy because she felt sympathetic for him.
Once, Heru told me that Mbah had caught him 'nen-nen' on Mami Yani and she had teased him for doing that because he was a big boy already and not a baby anymore. He told me that he felt shameful when Mbah had teased him.
One day, Yani's father, Pak Sardi, and Yani's younger sister, Nuraini, came to Bali. He had wished for Nuraini to be in Bali and continued her studies in Bali. She had completed her SD 6 (Primary School education) and she would like to study in Bali together with her brother, Rosman. She needed to be registered in SMP 1 (Secondary School One) but we had failed to secure her education in Bali because partly our finances were constrained and she would have to wait for another year to be in SMP 1.
I was ashamed of myself for failing my responsibility as a man and as a brother to Nuraini. I regretted for not trying harder to secure her position in a SMP school in Bali. So, during her period of staying with us in Bali, Nuraini had helped us with the house worked and we brought her along to the mini-restaurant once in a while only. We also went out together as a family to various places in Bali.
Usually, everynight before I put Heru to sleep, Heru would climb up on my back as though he was the rider and I was the horse. Heru loved that game. Sometimes he would request for a story but I was not a story teller back then and normally he would tell me about Natalia, Gordon, Soni, Budi or Mbah had done at Natalia's house. Before I lullaby him to sleep, usually I would tell him to say the prayer that I had taught him. Then after that, I would remind him that he should become a child who was healthy, intelligent, that listens and loves Immi, Impi, Mami, Papi, Budi, Soni and Mbah. Then I would ask him to repeat again what I had reminded him about being a kind of child he should become and he would recites the statement I had taught him. Then I would tell him, "Love all and Heru is number One." And just before he went to sleep I would say to him, "I love you my son" and he would reply, "I love you too, Papi." I would kiss him on his cheeks and he would kiss me on my cheeks. He would go to sleep after those ritual together.
Once, he had told me that he did not want a brother, which he meant was my baby son that was due to be born. He said that if he had a brother later, I would not love him and I would love his brother. I reminded him about the values and principles I had taught him, "Love all and Heru is number One." Then he felt assured and he told me that later when his brother was born, "Heru will follow brother." He would give all his toys for his brother to play with and he would take care of him.
Yani and I had thought about a name for our unborn son. We listed down all the names on a piece of paper and at the end, the name Johan was the choice that Yani had chosen for our son to be. She had explained to me that the name Johan was easy to remember and in short, she could even call him "Jo", which sounded similar like my pet name "Joe." So, we agreed on that name and partly I had told Yani that in Malay language, the name Johan means "Juara" or Champion. It also means indirectly "NUMBER ONE" or a "HERO."
What did Heru mean by "I will follow Brother?" Did he mean that he would reincarnate as my son or did he mean that he would become an angel for my son? I did not ask him about what he meant by that statement because it had never crossed my mind. After I had returned to Singapore, I had pondered on Heru's statement myriad of times just to make myself understood more the plausible meaning of his statement.
Once, Heru had told me that if I wanted to follow him back to his world, I should not love Mami Yani because if I did love Mami Yani, I would be miserable seeing Mami Yani crying and mourning for me. That would make me into a soul of miseries instead of being a soul of happiness in the world of the unseen.
Once at home, Heru asked me, "Papi, who is Mami Asmah?" I had no idea how to tell him about Noorasmah. Heru even asked me whether Mami Asmah was beautiful and kind. I was not prepared for this kind of questions so I had to lie to him that she was only a woman I had known before and she hated me. Heru asked me this again after that, "How pretty is Mami Asmah?" I lied to him that Mami Asmah was not pretty but ulgy. Then he said, "Papi lie. Papi lie to Heru. Mami Asmah is pretty and Mami Asmah is a kind person. Papi lie to Heru. Heru want Mami Asmah! Heru want Mami Asmah! If Papi loves Heru, Papi must return to Mami Asmah. Heru want Mami Asmah as Heru's Mami. Mami Yani is not pretty and Mami Yani is not as kind as Mami Asmah!" He was crying loudly as he spoke. I had to reason to him that if Mami Yani was not pretty, why was it that men always looked at her. If Mami Yani was not kind, why would I marry her. He listened to me and then he looked at me. Then he smiled happily and he looked like he felt assured too that I had chosen the right woman for him as a Mother and for myself as a Wife. Inside my heart, I knew Heru watched me closely to see whether I was sincere with my answers to him. I could feel that Heru knew that I was lying to him but he kept it to himself.
Once I had asked Heru how he could possess or come to my world and what was or were the praying verses or mantras from his world that he had uttered to come to the physical world. He said that Mbah, the former old lady that lived next to the river bank, that had taken care of him, had taught him the praying verses. I had requested him to reveal the praying verses to me but instead he hummed the tune of the praying verses so that I would not know the praying verses. He said many times too that he had failed to come to meet me through Mami Yani but he kept on trying until it worked.
One month before the Indonesian Immigration apprehended me, I dreamt of a white boy. He had blonde hair and deep blue eyes. He had freckles on his face. He looked like a boy of four years old. It could be my son in the spirit world and he had shown me his features so that I would remember him always and forever until my last breath. Maybe then I would know who was Heru when I reached the threshold of Hereafter.
On the morning of 6th December 1995, I was apprehended by the Indonesian Immigration at my house. Before that happened, around 7 a.m. in the morning, Yani and I was awakened by a strong gust of wind blowing through the windows and a vase of flowers had toppled from the table top onto the floor and it broke. We went back to sleep. Then around 8 a.m. we heard someone knocked the front gate and calling for me. I went out to see who it was and he took out his warrant of arrest from the Immigration Office and talked to me courteously to follow him for questioning. I followed him and they questioned me thoroughly and even though I had all the necessary papers to insinuate that I was an Indonesian citizen, they disbelieved me because they knew that the KTP (Identity Card) could be bought. They knew I was lying after questioning me about my place of origin. The Officer had questioned me about my place of origing in Indonesia and caught me lying about it. At the end I admitted to them that I was not an Indonesian nationality and I told them I was a Singaporean.
Yani told me that if I was going to be imprisoned, it was best that I should be imprisoned in my own country of Singapore. Yani was about seven and the half months into her pregnancy.
I was quarantined at the Immigration Building until the early evening of 14th of December 1995. A few hours before my departure, I said to Heru,"Please tell Impi Gordon and Immi Natalia not to forget Papi." I was to be transferred to Jakarta at Kalideras Detention Centre where all the illegal immigrants were detained.
The last time I saw Heru was at the entrance of the departure lobby where I had asked him whether he was alright. Heru nodded to me quietly and sadly without uttering any words. Then Yani and I walked into the Immigration Office at the Ngu Ngah Rai International Airport in Bali for me to be prepared to board the Garuda Airline to Jakarta. While waiting for the boarding time, I called for Heru many times but he did not show-up and I was worried for him because I felt sorrowful of leaving him.
Yani was a strong woman and when I was told to board the plane, she could not follow me to the boarding entrance. I kissed her on the forehead and told her to take good care of herself and our baby. I walked away with sorrowfulness in my heart and when I turned around to look at her and probably Heru too, they were crying very emotionally and with their right hand, they showed me a sign of ' I LOVE YOU.'
I was transferred to Jakarta because Singapore Embassy was in Jakarta and I needed to process my travel document for deportation. I was deported on the late evening of 29th December 1995 and upon reaching Singapore Changi International Airport, the CID detectives were already there, waiting for my arrival and they arrested me.
On 26th January 1996, I was sentenced to imprisonment. It was not easy for me to adapt into the prison life because I was never a criminal before but I had no choice, I must adapt to the environment. After I had adapted myself to the environment, I saw myself as a man who was not a good man in the past. I told myself that I needed to change my ways so that in the future I could become a man who wishes to become a better man.
In the beginning I had used religion to make myself happy in my life as an inmate. At the end I loss my religion because I found blissfulness without any organised religion, but deep within my heart, I know my Faith is with God Almighty, The Creator of the Universe and Life. He is the Unknown God, Who has no forms, shapes and names. Humans gave Him names to identify Him and religions were created by mankind to associate themselves with Him. His Essence of Life is the whole mother earth and the whole universe. We are all His Creation; and mankind is mankind and God Almighty, The Creator of the Universe and Life is God Almighty, The Creator of the Universe and Life. Nobody is greater than Him.
JUNE 2003
Recently, I met Yani and my son Johan in Singapore. I told Yani about all the spirit followers of hers in the past and she felt frightened. She disbelieved me and told me that I was talking nonsense. I tried to call Margarita, Natalia, Gordon, Budi, Soni and Heru by whispering within my heart and mind. They did not make themselves available for me to talk to them.
When I talked to my son Johan, I asked him what kind of child he should become and he replied, " Johan must be healthy and intelligent." When I asked him whether he knew any boy by the name of Heru, he replied, "Who is Heru?" Then he told me that he has a child friend with him. When I asked him who was it, he said it was a secret between them.
Yani said that she was not willing to become my wife because she felt I was not like her husband anymore but we shall remain in contact with each other for our son Johan. I was unable to stop her and she felt I have no right to stop her from marrying other man who was better than I am.
I have loss her as my wife and I wondered whether I have also loss my spirit family of Indonesia. They could follow me and I would not know about it would I? It is up to them to communicate with me now since I can use my own body and mind to communicate with the unseen world. So far I have yet to establish any confirmed communication with them because I would not know whether they would like to make known to me who they really were? I wish they can trust me like the way I trusted them in the past. I wish they are still my family from the spiritual world.
AND
I DIED IN BALI
"Please tell Impi Gordon and Immi Natalia not to forget Papi."
Mochamad Robi Hussein alias Zulkifli Mahmood (14th December 1995, Bali)
Somewhere in the middle of 1994, Yani and I were at the mini-restaurant during the day taking care of the business. While we were sitting and talking about matters pertaining to our business at the table outside the mini-restaurant next to a pathway, Natalia suddenly spoke to me. Yani was not even in a dazed when that happened. I was not surprised because this happened quite often until I was so accustomed to it. She asked me whether I could give her Rp 20000 because there was a cash shortaged after sending Mbah to see a doctor in her world. She said that Mbah was sitting on an empty chair opposite of her. I asked her what had happened to Mbah and she mentioned that after Mbah had gone back to see her family back in Jogyakarta, Central Java, she became sicked quite oftenly. Natalia had mentioned to me weeks before that Mbah had gone back to her village to visit her family there. So, I told her to take the money from the cash drawer. She went to the cash drawer and put her hands inside it. I noticed that Yani was like in a dazed for about fifteen seconds or so. I did not bother to go near her to see what was happening because I knew that she would not like it; and the employees were busy doing their worked at the front, inside and back in the kitchen of the mini-restaurant. After that, she came back to me and told me that she had taken the money. Mbah had helped her to do that. I just believed her and I told her to take care of Mbah and make-sured that Mbah had enough rest. Natalia kissed me on my cheek and left Yani's body. Yani was in a dazed for a few seconds and I shook Yani's hand to wake her up. Well, we did continue our conversation because she seemed like confused of what to talk about. Later I did not check the cash drawer whether there was a cash shortaged because I did not even know how much was the cash balance or cash in from the sales for that day and I did not even bothered to counter checked it because for me Rp 20000 was a small amount.
We bought a bicycle for Yani to cycle around Kuta when she felt bored at the mini-restaurant. One evening, after she had cycled to a nearby night market to buy some fruits, she told me that she had fallen into a small drainage while cycling. She was aware that she had fallen into the small drainage because the front handle of the cycling was shaky and she was not hurt. She showed me the minor scratched on her lower right leg. After having said that, Yani's familiar voice suddenly changed to Heru's voice and Heru smiled at me. His eyes was wide opened and Heru blamed Soni for shaking the bicycle's front handle while Mami Yani was cycling; and Budi was sitting at the back of the bicycle. Soni wanted to control the bicycle for himself. I laughed and I was a little angry with Soni too for being foolished for it was lucky that this incident had happened at the shortcut route of a small deserted street that Yani had taken. Soni met me and he bit his right forefinger at the corner of his mouth. He looked down and I could see that he was also afraid of me that I might scold him. I told him nicely not to do that again. He looked up at me and said "Sorry. Om Bi" softly and he gave me a happy smile before he left Yani's body.
There was one occasion whereby, Yani was sillied by the dogs while she was riding the bicycle. The dogs were barking all around her and she nearly fell down. Later, Heru told me that the dogs were chasing after Mami Yani because Soni, Budi and Heru were with her. And Mami Yani was not aware of those dogs because Soni, Budi and Heru were riding the bicycle. I saw the dogs were crowding around Yani from a distance while I was sitting at one of the table outside the mini-restaurant. I ran to her but before I reached her, the dogs all went away. I had noticed Yani stopped and stared at the dogs and they all ran away, just like that.
My car broke down one day and I had sent the car for a repaired at the workshop. So, during those periods when I had no car to drive to work, we had to take the public transport called by the local as "Bimo" or a van. While waiting for the "Bimo" by the road side, Heru was talking to me. I asked Heru, how he followed his Mami. Using his hands, he pointed and told me that he could follow Mami Yani by sitting on the her elbows, legs, chest, shoulder and head. I did not understand what he meant by that and I was also puzzled with his explanations. I did not know how to question him anymore, especially about the elbows, legs and chest but I could imagine about how he would follow Yani on her head and shoulders. I had imagined that he would either sit on Yani's head or shoulders. So I asked him where he would normally sit. Heru told me that he would normally sit on Yani's right shoulder.
When it was night time in his world he said that he would on all the lights in the house in his world. He would use a stool to stand on and switched on all the lights and later in the morning when Mbah came to fetch him home to Natalia's home and if he was not at home because he followed me to the mini-restaurant, Mbah would off all the lights for him.
In April 1995, Yani went to Jakarta for two weeks holiday on her own. I stayed behind to take care of our food business. Natalia, Budi, Soni and Heru followed her. Natalia told me that she wanted to see Mbak Margarita and Gordon would stay behind to take care of his business in the spirit's world. Upon their returned, Heru told me that the house of Tante Rita was huge and they had everything. He said that they were chauffeured around in Jakarta in a maroon colour car and he played with the elevators in tall buildings. He also said that Tante Rita had a big stomach and she was unabled to do many things with them. He had enjoyed the train ride from Jakarta to Surabaya; and from Surabaya they took a flight back to Bali. He said that when Impi Gordon saw them returned home, he hugged and kissed all of them.
Heru also told me everything that Mami Yani did while in Jakarta before she even tell me anything. Later, when I narrated to Yani some parts about her holiday in Jakarta, she was totally surprised. Yani had stayed in a small hotel in Jakarta and she went to see her old friends. She also went to an amusement park "Dunia Fantasi" (Fantasy World) in Jakarta at Ancol and she even went to a discotheque in Jakarta alone. There, she met a man. Heru told me all these and when Yani told me what she did in Jakarta, I listened to her like I heard it for the first time. She left out the discotheque and the man she had met there. When I told her about her outing to a discotheque and meeting a man there, she was very shocked. I could see that she felt guilty conscience. She showed me the business card of that man she met in the discotheque. She told me that the man had invited her to his room but she had rejected his offer. He gave her his card should she changed her mind. I was not jealous or angry but I was wondering why she had left that part of the story from me. She thought that I had learned the art of mind reading or I had learned the art of black magic before I knew her. I kept my secret from her about Heru. Heru was liked a spy for me.
A month and the half past then Yani told me that she was pregnant and we went to see a doctor for a medical examination. The doctor scolded me for not sending Yani sooner for the medical examination. I took his scolding and from that day onward Yani went for her medical checked up regularly. We saw on the ultra sonar monitor that the baby was going to be a boy. We were so happy.
It came to my mind about Heru's information about Margarita's stomach that was big and she could not do many things with them. Was Heru implying to me that Margarita was Mami Yani or was he trying to tell me that Mami Yani was already pregnant or was she going to be pregnant?
Adi had a front tooth missing and once Heru had commented to me that Budi had a front tooth missing too. Was he implying to me that Budi was Adi? Was it a coincidence or was it a fictitious story from Heru?
I remembered the comment I had made about 'angels' or 'guardian spirits', that they could cross-over to another human being's mind or getting their Selves involved in humans' lives to do their angelic mission. I am very sure now that souls of humans could do that in the world of Hereafter. I think that was what Heru meant.
One day, Heru asked me for a 'nen-nen' during Yani's pregnancy. He had asked me when he wanted to sleep. So, I told him back then that Mami Yani could give him the 'nen-nen' now and why not asked her. Heru was reluctant at first but I had told him that Mami Yani would not mind at all and she would not scold him. Then he left Yani's body.
After a few minutes while I was still waiting to see what would happen after Heru had requested for that 'nen-nen', I heard Yani talked in her sleep. "What! Oh! So pitiful, come." In her sleep, she pulled-up her T-shirt and opened the right cup of her bra and her right breast was exposed. I was anxious and I observed it very carefully. I had actually seen some slight movements on her right breast's nipple was moving as though someone was suckling it but there was no breast milk coming out of it. Yani even had used her left hand to do stroke motions as though she was stroking someone's head and her face was looking at her right breast but her eyes were closed. At one time Yani had even exclaimed loudly, "Ouch! Don't bite." This went on for a few minutes and then Yani closed up the right cup of her bra and slept quietly. Then Heru came to meet me with his happy childish smile. I asked him whether it was nice and he was smiling shyly but he was happy. So, I told him that the next time he wanted to 'nen-nen', he could just ask Mami Yani for it.
When Yani woke-up from her sleep next morning, I asked her whether she had dreamt anything. She said that she had dreamt of a white boy who told her that he had never 'nen-nen' before because he did not have a mother and then she had breast fed the boy because she felt sympathetic for him.
Once, Heru told me that Mbah had caught him 'nen-nen' on Mami Yani and she had teased him for doing that because he was a big boy already and not a baby anymore. He told me that he felt shameful when Mbah had teased him.
One day, Yani's father, Pak Sardi, and Yani's younger sister, Nuraini, came to Bali. He had wished for Nuraini to be in Bali and continued her studies in Bali. She had completed her SD 6 (Primary School education) and she would like to study in Bali together with her brother, Rosman. She needed to be registered in SMP 1 (Secondary School One) but we had failed to secure her education in Bali because partly our finances were constrained and she would have to wait for another year to be in SMP 1.
I was ashamed of myself for failing my responsibility as a man and as a brother to Nuraini. I regretted for not trying harder to secure her position in a SMP school in Bali. So, during her period of staying with us in Bali, Nuraini had helped us with the house worked and we brought her along to the mini-restaurant once in a while only. We also went out together as a family to various places in Bali.
Usually, everynight before I put Heru to sleep, Heru would climb up on my back as though he was the rider and I was the horse. Heru loved that game. Sometimes he would request for a story but I was not a story teller back then and normally he would tell me about Natalia, Gordon, Soni, Budi or Mbah had done at Natalia's house. Before I lullaby him to sleep, usually I would tell him to say the prayer that I had taught him. Then after that, I would remind him that he should become a child who was healthy, intelligent, that listens and loves Immi, Impi, Mami, Papi, Budi, Soni and Mbah. Then I would ask him to repeat again what I had reminded him about being a kind of child he should become and he would recites the statement I had taught him. Then I would tell him, "Love all and Heru is number One." And just before he went to sleep I would say to him, "I love you my son" and he would reply, "I love you too, Papi." I would kiss him on his cheeks and he would kiss me on my cheeks. He would go to sleep after those ritual together.
Once, he had told me that he did not want a brother, which he meant was my baby son that was due to be born. He said that if he had a brother later, I would not love him and I would love his brother. I reminded him about the values and principles I had taught him, "Love all and Heru is number One." Then he felt assured and he told me that later when his brother was born, "Heru will follow brother." He would give all his toys for his brother to play with and he would take care of him.
Yani and I had thought about a name for our unborn son. We listed down all the names on a piece of paper and at the end, the name Johan was the choice that Yani had chosen for our son to be. She had explained to me that the name Johan was easy to remember and in short, she could even call him "Jo", which sounded similar like my pet name "Joe." So, we agreed on that name and partly I had told Yani that in Malay language, the name Johan means "Juara" or Champion. It also means indirectly "NUMBER ONE" or a "HERO."
What did Heru mean by "I will follow Brother?" Did he mean that he would reincarnate as my son or did he mean that he would become an angel for my son? I did not ask him about what he meant by that statement because it had never crossed my mind. After I had returned to Singapore, I had pondered on Heru's statement myriad of times just to make myself understood more the plausible meaning of his statement.
Once, Heru had told me that if I wanted to follow him back to his world, I should not love Mami Yani because if I did love Mami Yani, I would be miserable seeing Mami Yani crying and mourning for me. That would make me into a soul of miseries instead of being a soul of happiness in the world of the unseen.
Once at home, Heru asked me, "Papi, who is Mami Asmah?" I had no idea how to tell him about Noorasmah. Heru even asked me whether Mami Asmah was beautiful and kind. I was not prepared for this kind of questions so I had to lie to him that she was only a woman I had known before and she hated me. Heru asked me this again after that, "How pretty is Mami Asmah?" I lied to him that Mami Asmah was not pretty but ulgy. Then he said, "Papi lie. Papi lie to Heru. Mami Asmah is pretty and Mami Asmah is a kind person. Papi lie to Heru. Heru want Mami Asmah! Heru want Mami Asmah! If Papi loves Heru, Papi must return to Mami Asmah. Heru want Mami Asmah as Heru's Mami. Mami Yani is not pretty and Mami Yani is not as kind as Mami Asmah!" He was crying loudly as he spoke. I had to reason to him that if Mami Yani was not pretty, why was it that men always looked at her. If Mami Yani was not kind, why would I marry her. He listened to me and then he looked at me. Then he smiled happily and he looked like he felt assured too that I had chosen the right woman for him as a Mother and for myself as a Wife. Inside my heart, I knew Heru watched me closely to see whether I was sincere with my answers to him. I could feel that Heru knew that I was lying to him but he kept it to himself.
Once I had asked Heru how he could possess or come to my world and what was or were the praying verses or mantras from his world that he had uttered to come to the physical world. He said that Mbah, the former old lady that lived next to the river bank, that had taken care of him, had taught him the praying verses. I had requested him to reveal the praying verses to me but instead he hummed the tune of the praying verses so that I would not know the praying verses. He said many times too that he had failed to come to meet me through Mami Yani but he kept on trying until it worked.
One month before the Indonesian Immigration apprehended me, I dreamt of a white boy. He had blonde hair and deep blue eyes. He had freckles on his face. He looked like a boy of four years old. It could be my son in the spirit world and he had shown me his features so that I would remember him always and forever until my last breath. Maybe then I would know who was Heru when I reached the threshold of Hereafter.
On the morning of 6th December 1995, I was apprehended by the Indonesian Immigration at my house. Before that happened, around 7 a.m. in the morning, Yani and I was awakened by a strong gust of wind blowing through the windows and a vase of flowers had toppled from the table top onto the floor and it broke. We went back to sleep. Then around 8 a.m. we heard someone knocked the front gate and calling for me. I went out to see who it was and he took out his warrant of arrest from the Immigration Office and talked to me courteously to follow him for questioning. I followed him and they questioned me thoroughly and even though I had all the necessary papers to insinuate that I was an Indonesian citizen, they disbelieved me because they knew that the KTP (Identity Card) could be bought. They knew I was lying after questioning me about my place of origin. The Officer had questioned me about my place of origing in Indonesia and caught me lying about it. At the end I admitted to them that I was not an Indonesian nationality and I told them I was a Singaporean.
Yani told me that if I was going to be imprisoned, it was best that I should be imprisoned in my own country of Singapore. Yani was about seven and the half months into her pregnancy.
I was quarantined at the Immigration Building until the early evening of 14th of December 1995. A few hours before my departure, I said to Heru,"Please tell Impi Gordon and Immi Natalia not to forget Papi." I was to be transferred to Jakarta at Kalideras Detention Centre where all the illegal immigrants were detained.
The last time I saw Heru was at the entrance of the departure lobby where I had asked him whether he was alright. Heru nodded to me quietly and sadly without uttering any words. Then Yani and I walked into the Immigration Office at the Ngu Ngah Rai International Airport in Bali for me to be prepared to board the Garuda Airline to Jakarta. While waiting for the boarding time, I called for Heru many times but he did not show-up and I was worried for him because I felt sorrowful of leaving him.
Yani was a strong woman and when I was told to board the plane, she could not follow me to the boarding entrance. I kissed her on the forehead and told her to take good care of herself and our baby. I walked away with sorrowfulness in my heart and when I turned around to look at her and probably Heru too, they were crying very emotionally and with their right hand, they showed me a sign of ' I LOVE YOU.'
I was transferred to Jakarta because Singapore Embassy was in Jakarta and I needed to process my travel document for deportation. I was deported on the late evening of 29th December 1995 and upon reaching Singapore Changi International Airport, the CID detectives were already there, waiting for my arrival and they arrested me.
On 26th January 1996, I was sentenced to imprisonment. It was not easy for me to adapt into the prison life because I was never a criminal before but I had no choice, I must adapt to the environment. After I had adapted myself to the environment, I saw myself as a man who was not a good man in the past. I told myself that I needed to change my ways so that in the future I could become a man who wishes to become a better man.
In the beginning I had used religion to make myself happy in my life as an inmate. At the end I loss my religion because I found blissfulness without any organised religion, but deep within my heart, I know my Faith is with God Almighty, The Creator of the Universe and Life. He is the Unknown God, Who has no forms, shapes and names. Humans gave Him names to identify Him and religions were created by mankind to associate themselves with Him. His Essence of Life is the whole mother earth and the whole universe. We are all His Creation; and mankind is mankind and God Almighty, The Creator of the Universe and Life is God Almighty, The Creator of the Universe and Life. Nobody is greater than Him.
JUNE 2003
Recently, I met Yani and my son Johan in Singapore. I told Yani about all the spirit followers of hers in the past and she felt frightened. She disbelieved me and told me that I was talking nonsense. I tried to call Margarita, Natalia, Gordon, Budi, Soni and Heru by whispering within my heart and mind. They did not make themselves available for me to talk to them.
When I talked to my son Johan, I asked him what kind of child he should become and he replied, " Johan must be healthy and intelligent." When I asked him whether he knew any boy by the name of Heru, he replied, "Who is Heru?" Then he told me that he has a child friend with him. When I asked him who was it, he said it was a secret between them.
Yani said that she was not willing to become my wife because she felt I was not like her husband anymore but we shall remain in contact with each other for our son Johan. I was unable to stop her and she felt I have no right to stop her from marrying other man who was better than I am.
I have loss her as my wife and I wondered whether I have also loss my spirit family of Indonesia. They could follow me and I would not know about it would I? It is up to them to communicate with me now since I can use my own body and mind to communicate with the unseen world. So far I have yet to establish any confirmed communication with them because I would not know whether they would like to make known to me who they really were? I wish they can trust me like the way I trusted them in the past. I wish they are still my family from the spiritual world.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
LIFE - Mind Of A Mankind - Chapter Twenty-Eight
YOU'RE HAPPY, I'M HAPPY
"Love all but Heru is number One!"
I said this to Heru (1995, Bali)
In 1994, after my mother's demised, I became a man who wanted to have a meaningful life as a human. I tried to help my own family in Bali and also other people for this reason, to become a better person. I saw all my past actions and words that I had rendered on other people. I regretted for leaving Singapore and I began to dislike the attitude of Yani too because she began to become like a woman who was insensitive to other people problems or feelings. I saw in Noorasmah a wonderful woman who has all the values and loves that any man would wish for as a wife. I had realised my mistakes and I began to wonder what would happen to me, should I return to Singapore to face the Law and those people that I had cheated? I reviewed my life over and over again and I saw I had no good future in Indonesia if I remained there. I hated myself living a life of a fugitive. I did not miss Singapore but I missed my family in Singapore. The person that I missed the most was Noorasmah. I knew she was in miseries because there were few things that I had not settled with her, especially, about our marriage and our flat. I thought about her many times until I felt my heart was yearning for her to be near me again. I wished to return to her like a husband and I also missed my home in Singapore.
In August 1994, Lek Min decided to return to Malang, East Java, because she was uncomfortable living in Bali partly because Hinduism was the main religion in Bali. And not long after that, Yani and I went home to Yani's village again in Madiun, East Java, to fetch another younger brother of hers Rosman and her nephew Fajar, to live with us and studied in Bali.
Rosman was about 13 years old and he continued his studies in SMP 1 (almost equivalent to Secondary One standard in Singapore) while Fajar who was about 5 years old would be registered in TK 1 (Kindergarten School) in Bali.
I wanted Yani and Adi to be happy, having their own family living with them and I did not want them to worry so much about their family back at the village. So by having Rosman and Fajar around them, I felt it would lessen their worries. Yani and I felt that Bali would offer them a better future and perhaps I felt lonely too because I wanted to have my own family in Bali. I began to cherish the values of love relationships among family partly because I had learned it from my family from the spirit world.
Heru came to meet me after Fajar started his days at the Kindergarten School in Tuban, near Kuta. This school was inside the premises of a Moslem mosque, just next to it. He told me that he had followed Fajar to learn to read and write. He said that there was a male soul wearing green attire while he was there. The male spirit kept the mosque and school cleaned. At the same time he would take care of the serinity of the premises.
There was a time before Fajar and Rosman came to Bali, Heru wrote a few alphabets, which were like children handwriting. The alphabet B was written in a reversed manner and I would correct his mistakes. He wrote down his name "HERU" to show me his writing skills but the alphabet R was written in the reversed manner too. And I would correct him and he would rewrite it again correctly after that. Then he would also write down the names of Soni, Budi, Immi Natalia and Impi Gordon. He said that Budi had taught him to spell and write.
So, when Fajar attended school, there were occasions whereby Heru would pick-up any books or magazines to read to me in Bahasa Indonesia but he was just jestering with me to make me laughed and he would childishly laughed too at his own actioned. All those readings were wild readings that he had imagined while the reading material was in his hand. There were many times he had actually asked me to teach him to read a book. Sometimes I yielded to his requests but sometimes I was just too exhausted to teach him. Yani was literate in writing and reading.
There were times when Yani was asleep, then Heru was also sleeping too. Sometimes when I was still awake, Heru while in Yani's body and mind, he would mumble sleepily in a few words. I had noticed, he was actually sleeping and when that occurred, I would pat him to sleep again. I knew it was Heru because I heard his familiar childish voice.
There were also numerous times when he went to the toilet to urinate or pass motion when natures called for it. Sometimes he had constipation too and he would complain about it. Once he told me that a female spirit next door had told him this,"Heru, tell your Papi to buy more Papaya for you to eat so that Heru will not have difficulties when passing motion." He would also remember to wash cleaned after that too. When I asked him who had taught him that, he mentioned that Natalia had taught him to do that. Heru would like to stand while urinating because that was the way a guy would do it and I would remind him that his Mami was a female.
We took showers together numerous times and he liked to shower with lots of soap foams on his body. He loved to be scrubbed at the back and he loved to apply soap on to a small hand towel for him to scrub himself, as though like a western method of cleaning oneself while showering or while soaking oneself in a bathtub, which was totally unlike Yani.
When Yani and I had sex, Heru said that he would go away from us and Yani was herself; but later when he returned to meet me again, he said that he had peeked at us through the door keyhole. Sometimes, Budi and Soni would be there to peek too. Then he would laughed and smiled at me with the tip of his tongue sticking out, cutely.
He loved to watch 'Robo Cop' movies. Heru loved to fantasize that he was Robo Cop himself. Robo Cop was like his ideal hero.
I usually cut my own hair. Then Yani would complain that it looked awful when I cut my own hair. Then one day, while at the restaurant in the late afternoon, while I was sitting at the table observing people walking by, Heru suddenly took my hand and pulled me up. He said that he wanted me to follow him to show something special to me. There were no customers at that time. Then while walking he had remained silent when I kept asking him what was it that he wanted to show me. Then we suddenly stopped walking and he pointed his finger to that special thing and place that he wanted to show me. We were standing in front of a hair salon and he said,"Papi, this hair salon is good. Papi must cut Papi's hair because it looks untidy and ulgy." When I had refused he cried loudly in public. I had to follow his wished or else he would cry even harder and I would feel embarrassed. Inside the hair salon Yani consciousness came back on again but she was not surprised at all that we ended up inside a hair salon. Yani spoke to the lady that I needed a good and neat hair cut in Javanese but I was not so sure whether it was Yani or Heru. Inside the hair salon, she was quiet and always watching me while the lady cut my hair. After having cut my hair later, Heru smiled widely with the tip of his tongue sticking out. He was satisfied and he complimented me about my new look. He told me that he had a hair cut too and he had styled it according to the boy's hairstyle in the movie 'Terminator - Judgement Day.' He told me that there was a female spirit at the hair salon and she was kind towards him. He said that the female spirit had asked him about me and he had told her that I was his Papi. He said that she had smiled at Papi while I was inside the hair salon. I remembered looking at the lady while she was cutting my hair and she was smiling at me. Was she Heru too?
In 1994, most of the time, we went swimming at the small hotel and restaurant that my Balinese close friend showed us. His uncle owned a small hotel and restaurant with a swimming pool at the beach front in Kuta. This place was next to Club Risata Hotel - Bali.
"Love all but Heru is number One!"
I said this to Heru (1995, Bali)
In 1994, after my mother's demised, I became a man who wanted to have a meaningful life as a human. I tried to help my own family in Bali and also other people for this reason, to become a better person. I saw all my past actions and words that I had rendered on other people. I regretted for leaving Singapore and I began to dislike the attitude of Yani too because she began to become like a woman who was insensitive to other people problems or feelings. I saw in Noorasmah a wonderful woman who has all the values and loves that any man would wish for as a wife. I had realised my mistakes and I began to wonder what would happen to me, should I return to Singapore to face the Law and those people that I had cheated? I reviewed my life over and over again and I saw I had no good future in Indonesia if I remained there. I hated myself living a life of a fugitive. I did not miss Singapore but I missed my family in Singapore. The person that I missed the most was Noorasmah. I knew she was in miseries because there were few things that I had not settled with her, especially, about our marriage and our flat. I thought about her many times until I felt my heart was yearning for her to be near me again. I wished to return to her like a husband and I also missed my home in Singapore.
In August 1994, Lek Min decided to return to Malang, East Java, because she was uncomfortable living in Bali partly because Hinduism was the main religion in Bali. And not long after that, Yani and I went home to Yani's village again in Madiun, East Java, to fetch another younger brother of hers Rosman and her nephew Fajar, to live with us and studied in Bali.
Rosman was about 13 years old and he continued his studies in SMP 1 (almost equivalent to Secondary One standard in Singapore) while Fajar who was about 5 years old would be registered in TK 1 (Kindergarten School) in Bali.
I wanted Yani and Adi to be happy, having their own family living with them and I did not want them to worry so much about their family back at the village. So by having Rosman and Fajar around them, I felt it would lessen their worries. Yani and I felt that Bali would offer them a better future and perhaps I felt lonely too because I wanted to have my own family in Bali. I began to cherish the values of love relationships among family partly because I had learned it from my family from the spirit world.
Heru came to meet me after Fajar started his days at the Kindergarten School in Tuban, near Kuta. This school was inside the premises of a Moslem mosque, just next to it. He told me that he had followed Fajar to learn to read and write. He said that there was a male soul wearing green attire while he was there. The male spirit kept the mosque and school cleaned. At the same time he would take care of the serinity of the premises.
There was a time before Fajar and Rosman came to Bali, Heru wrote a few alphabets, which were like children handwriting. The alphabet B was written in a reversed manner and I would correct his mistakes. He wrote down his name "HERU" to show me his writing skills but the alphabet R was written in the reversed manner too. And I would correct him and he would rewrite it again correctly after that. Then he would also write down the names of Soni, Budi, Immi Natalia and Impi Gordon. He said that Budi had taught him to spell and write.
So, when Fajar attended school, there were occasions whereby Heru would pick-up any books or magazines to read to me in Bahasa Indonesia but he was just jestering with me to make me laughed and he would childishly laughed too at his own actioned. All those readings were wild readings that he had imagined while the reading material was in his hand. There were many times he had actually asked me to teach him to read a book. Sometimes I yielded to his requests but sometimes I was just too exhausted to teach him. Yani was literate in writing and reading.
There were times when Yani was asleep, then Heru was also sleeping too. Sometimes when I was still awake, Heru while in Yani's body and mind, he would mumble sleepily in a few words. I had noticed, he was actually sleeping and when that occurred, I would pat him to sleep again. I knew it was Heru because I heard his familiar childish voice.
There were also numerous times when he went to the toilet to urinate or pass motion when natures called for it. Sometimes he had constipation too and he would complain about it. Once he told me that a female spirit next door had told him this,"Heru, tell your Papi to buy more Papaya for you to eat so that Heru will not have difficulties when passing motion." He would also remember to wash cleaned after that too. When I asked him who had taught him that, he mentioned that Natalia had taught him to do that. Heru would like to stand while urinating because that was the way a guy would do it and I would remind him that his Mami was a female.
We took showers together numerous times and he liked to shower with lots of soap foams on his body. He loved to be scrubbed at the back and he loved to apply soap on to a small hand towel for him to scrub himself, as though like a western method of cleaning oneself while showering or while soaking oneself in a bathtub, which was totally unlike Yani.
When Yani and I had sex, Heru said that he would go away from us and Yani was herself; but later when he returned to meet me again, he said that he had peeked at us through the door keyhole. Sometimes, Budi and Soni would be there to peek too. Then he would laughed and smiled at me with the tip of his tongue sticking out, cutely.
He loved to watch 'Robo Cop' movies. Heru loved to fantasize that he was Robo Cop himself. Robo Cop was like his ideal hero.
I usually cut my own hair. Then Yani would complain that it looked awful when I cut my own hair. Then one day, while at the restaurant in the late afternoon, while I was sitting at the table observing people walking by, Heru suddenly took my hand and pulled me up. He said that he wanted me to follow him to show something special to me. There were no customers at that time. Then while walking he had remained silent when I kept asking him what was it that he wanted to show me. Then we suddenly stopped walking and he pointed his finger to that special thing and place that he wanted to show me. We were standing in front of a hair salon and he said,"Papi, this hair salon is good. Papi must cut Papi's hair because it looks untidy and ulgy." When I had refused he cried loudly in public. I had to follow his wished or else he would cry even harder and I would feel embarrassed. Inside the hair salon Yani consciousness came back on again but she was not surprised at all that we ended up inside a hair salon. Yani spoke to the lady that I needed a good and neat hair cut in Javanese but I was not so sure whether it was Yani or Heru. Inside the hair salon, she was quiet and always watching me while the lady cut my hair. After having cut my hair later, Heru smiled widely with the tip of his tongue sticking out. He was satisfied and he complimented me about my new look. He told me that he had a hair cut too and he had styled it according to the boy's hairstyle in the movie 'Terminator - Judgement Day.' He told me that there was a female spirit at the hair salon and she was kind towards him. He said that the female spirit had asked him about me and he had told her that I was his Papi. He said that she had smiled at Papi while I was inside the hair salon. I remembered looking at the lady while she was cutting my hair and she was smiling at me. Was she Heru too?
In 1994, most of the time, we went swimming at the small hotel and restaurant that my Balinese close friend showed us. His uncle owned a small hotel and restaurant with a swimming pool at the beach front in Kuta. This place was next to Club Risata Hotel - Bali.
Please take note. My other blog is at http://www.life-of-a-mankind.blogspot.com/ Take a look at it.
With Love,
Joe
LIFE - Mind Of A Mankind - Chapter Twenty-Seven
BEING A CHILD & AN ADULT
"Papi, who is Mami Asmah?"
Heru questioned me about Noorasmah.
In 1995, Bali.
Heru said that he had a good girlfriend next to our restaurant. There was a spirit girl named Melly and he had always played with her when he followed me to the restaurant. The shop next to our restaurant sold T-Shirts, Shorts and other clothing materials. A couple operated that clothing shop and they had a six years old son. They were very kind and helpful couple. Heru often talked to this couple's boy through Yani with his own childlike manner and many times the small boy commented, "Kamu omong kayak anak kecil" (You speak like a small child). I heard it myself and I laughed as I watched and listened to Heru and this small boy talked. I knew Heru was the one who was talking to this boy but this boy was very happy to talk to Heru. He did not know what was happening and I believed he did not tell his parents about Mbak Yani next door strange characteristics and behaviours.
He had also another girlfriend living next to Natalia's house named Annie and he had always played together with her too. Once in the evening, he took me for a walked around the neighbourhood because he wanted to show his friends in his world 'His Papi'. He was so proud of me. As we were walking along and passing by the neighbouring houses, he said to me that many people in his world were puzzled about his relationship with me. They were commenting something like this, "How come it could become like this?" He laughed and smiled at me with his tongue sticking out from his mouth. His cute expressions reminded me of a small kitten with its tongue sticking out like that. I did not know what they meant by that statement because Heru did not explain it to me and I did not ask him about it either.
Many times when Heru came to meet me while Yani was having menstruation, he disliked what he felt and he would go out as soon as possible. He would only see me for awhile.
He also disliked wearing the bra when he came to meet me. He would request for it to be taken off or loosen the bra. He said it felt uncomfortable.
Many times Yani and I quarrelled but Heru was always there to make me forgave her. I forgave her because I loved Heru like my son and I did not want to leave him. It seemed after my mother's death, Yani and I often quarrelled about our business operation, especially about financial matters.
Once in the late evening at home, Yani and I quarrelled again and this time she shouted at me to get out from her house. I took some of my clothings and put it inside my bag. Without my knowledge, while I was packing-up my clothings, she told Lek Mim to lock the front gate. So, I climbed over the fences and I started walking. The dogs were barking and howling when I walked passed Natalia's house. Then when I turned my head around, behind me I saw Yani was following me about thirty to forty metres away. When I stopped walking, she would also stop walking too. This went on until I nearly reached the main road. I thought of checking into a hotel in Kuta for a night and I really wanted to fly off from Bali and perhaps go to Batam island (which is very near to Singapore). Then, I decided to just stopped walking and waited for Yani. Yani came closed to me but it was not Yani. It was Heru's voice, "Papi, where are you going? Immi Natalia, Soni and Heru saw Papi walking with a bag in hand. We followed Papi. Why Papi sad?" I cried when I heard Heru said that to me. He held my hand and pulled me to return home. I could not leave him. So, I decided to return home and forgave Yani. Upon reaching home, I went straight to bed to sleep. The next day I just acted like nothing had happend between Yani and I. Yani did the same thing too.
There was another occasion when Yani and I was exchanging heated words with each other, then when she went to sit at the small reading room, Heru suddenly came out crying and said, "Why Papi and Mami Yani must quarrelled. If Papi loves Heru, please do not quarrelled." He managed to cool me down and I stopped arguing with Yani. I told him I would not worry Mami Yani and I would not make Heru cried again. He replied, "Papi si! Papi don't want to 'sayang-sayang' (make love) Mami Yani." Most of that time I was so busy with the business and I forgotten about making Yani happy too. I was too exhausted when I reached home every morning or during the late night. It was just like when I was with Noorasmah too. History repeated itself again.
There was one occasion in the afternoon, I was angry with Yani's behaviours. She seemed not like herself anymore and she had changed like a wicked woman. She always showed anger towards the staffs and to me. I tried to talk to her but she refused to listen to me anymore. So, I decided to go out instead of arguing with her because I did not wish to upset her or Heru. I knew Heru was near by somewhere. I went out to the car and turned on the car engine. Heru came out from the house and he just sat on the car front bonnet, refusing to come down. I saw him crying and I decided to abandon my planned of going out. I went inside the house again and Heru would talk to me like a son wanting his father to stay at home.
Once in the night, I managed to drive off and I was really angry with Yani when I left the house. As I drove off, I saw Yani came out from the house and she just sat in a chair at the front porch of the house. I drove to the airport and stopped the car by the road side. I just watched the planes taking off and landing. In my heart, I just felt like going to the airport and booked a ticket back to Singapore. I still had my Singapore Passport with me and faced whatever nightmares that I supposed to encounter in my own country. I was really not happy with my life in Bali too though most of the time I had managed to blind fold my eyes with the reality checked of my life with Yani in Pulau Dewata. I knew I had some unsolved problems with Noorasmah. I knew deep in my heart and soul that she was probably sufferring from my evil deeds upon her loving and pure heart. My conscience was telling me to see carefully what it was like to live with Noorasmah and Yani. It was like comparing an angel with a demon. I remembered I was also crying loudly inside the car. Only God knew how I felt at that moment. I really needed to find solace in my life.
After an hour later, I returned home. Upon reaching home, Heru came to meet me saying that he was confused. "Heru didn't know whom to follow. Mami or Papi." His face expression was very sad. I told him not to worry because I did not have the intention to leave him.
Once Yani and I were sitting at the front porch of the house. We had a slight misunderstanding and she was sitting quietly. Then, Heru spoke to me, "Papi, Mami is thinking of leaving Papi! Mami intent to leave Papi!" I asked him what else Yani was thinking. He said, "Mami is not happy with Papi because Papi don't want Mami." I told him to persuade his Mami to cool down. Then he said, "Mami don't want to listen si. Mami too don't want to listen to Papi anymore. Mami still wants to leave Papi." He was so unhappy with her too and I could see that his eyes were really wide open when he said that to me. He seemed afraid too about the possibilities of Yani's intention. He was really afraid of losing her and possibly me too. I told him to tell his Mami that if she leave me, I would commit suicide. That statement was only to make Yani's thoughts to think twice. I knew Heru could sort of whisper inside Yani's mind and probably she would listen to that little voice in her conscience. He was reluctant but he did what I had told him to say to Yani. While Heru was sort of whispering to Yani, I could see that his eyes was moving with confusion and I could also see that he was also worried about Yani's thoughts. Then Heru said, "Heru try to tell Mami but Mami still very stubborn. Mami don't care about Papi and Mami still wants to leave Papi. Heru cannot do anything. Mami very stubborn si and Papi don't want to show Papi's love to Mami si!" He was crying too because I saw that Heru was seeing Yani's mind and feeling Yani's emotion within herself too. Somehow another I managed to calm Yani down after Heru left Yani's body. Then she told me that she wanted time for herself and she told me that she wanted to stay somewhere for awhile. I queried her about where she wanted to go but she just said that she would come back again and I did not have to worry about her. I could not discourage her from going and I had to trust her words in good faith.
During her absence, I was also worried sick about her safety and about the possibilities that she might leave me too. If that happened, I would not know what to do. She went for a week and I had to take care of the business with Lek Mim and Adi. There was one night when I was at the restaurant, I saw a taxi by the road side and there was someone watching at the direction of the restaurant. It did not come to my mind that Yani was watching me. Later when she returned home, she told me that she went to a hotel to stay and true enough, she said that she had watched me in a taxi on one occasion during the night.
All these incidences had happened when the business was very slow during the low tourist season in the first half year of 1994. I remembered that the soccer World Cup competition was on too. So, maybe majority of the tourists went to U.S.A to see the soccer matches over there and majority of them probably had preferred to stay at their own country, placing their large amount bets and watched the historical event on television. It was the first time ever when the U.S. was the host for such great event and their own soccer team was also one of the main contender in 1994 World Cup competition.
Natalia came to see me one day to complain about Gordon. She said that Gordon was coming home late at night most of the time now and she sometimes quarrelled with him for this reason. He told Natalia to tell me that he was doing some other business too and that was antique business. He needed to scout for the antiques so that he could export it to Australia or other countries. I told Natalia to allow Gordon to have some time for himself to do his work and she as a wife should listen to him. I told Natalia to be understanding and let him do his business because he had a responsibility to fulfil. Natalia listened to me and then left Yani's body.
It seemed that she came to see me at the time when I too was coming back late most of the time and Yani was at home most of the time. I was wondering whether she was actually implying to me about my own mistakes of concentrating too much on my business. Maybe she was referring to me and probably Gordon was 'working' for me. Maybe he was my 'guardian angel'?
Natalia met me one day to inform me that Mas Anton and Ricky left for Jogyakarta, in Central Java. Natalia told me that Mas Anton felt that it was better for Ricky to come along with him to Jogyakarta too. Anton left without saying goodbye to me. That was the last news I heard about Mas Anton and Ricky.
Heru asked me where were Om Anton and Om Ricky because he had not seen them for quite sometimes. I told him that they went home to Java to stay at Om Anton's house. Now there were only Natalia, Gordon, Budi, Soni, Heru and Mbok left as my family in the spirit world.
Once, he saw many marks on my body. These marks were due to my illness of chicken poxs while I was about nine or ten years old. He asked me what were those marks. I jokingly told him that those marks were caused by bullet wounds. He giggled because he said that those marks were hero marks. I wondered why subconsciously I had remarked in that manner. Maybe I was 'Osman' and I did not know about it or maybe Osman was talking to Heru, knowingly that I could hear them.
Then Heru mentioned to me that he wanted to become a soldier or a policeman when he grows up. I disliked the sound of his ambition because living in Indonesia during that period and maybe till now, I had hated those uniform groups in Indonesia because most of them were corrupted. So, I told him about being a fighter pilot was much better than being a soldier or a policeman. He loved the idea because he loved aeroplanes. In fact I had mentioned to Yani that should we have a son, I would like to see him to become a pilot.
One night, Heru came to me. I was asleep but he woke me up and he told me that he was really feeling hungry. There was no food at home so I told him that probably we need to go out to buy some food for him. I was really exhausted but I saw his eyes were sad. I could not bear to see him sad and hungry. So, we dressed up and got ourselves ready to go to a nearby 24 hours Padang restaurant. Heru would normally wear a short for Yani when he dressed up for her.
Inside the car, while I was driving, suddenly, he cried and there were full of tears in his eyes. He was really crying. So I asked him why he was crying. He said, "When Heru all grown-up and when Papi already old, Heru will take care of Papi."
"Papi, who is Mami Asmah?"
Heru questioned me about Noorasmah.
In 1995, Bali.
Heru said that he had a good girlfriend next to our restaurant. There was a spirit girl named Melly and he had always played with her when he followed me to the restaurant. The shop next to our restaurant sold T-Shirts, Shorts and other clothing materials. A couple operated that clothing shop and they had a six years old son. They were very kind and helpful couple. Heru often talked to this couple's boy through Yani with his own childlike manner and many times the small boy commented, "Kamu omong kayak anak kecil" (You speak like a small child). I heard it myself and I laughed as I watched and listened to Heru and this small boy talked. I knew Heru was the one who was talking to this boy but this boy was very happy to talk to Heru. He did not know what was happening and I believed he did not tell his parents about Mbak Yani next door strange characteristics and behaviours.
He had also another girlfriend living next to Natalia's house named Annie and he had always played together with her too. Once in the evening, he took me for a walked around the neighbourhood because he wanted to show his friends in his world 'His Papi'. He was so proud of me. As we were walking along and passing by the neighbouring houses, he said to me that many people in his world were puzzled about his relationship with me. They were commenting something like this, "How come it could become like this?" He laughed and smiled at me with his tongue sticking out from his mouth. His cute expressions reminded me of a small kitten with its tongue sticking out like that. I did not know what they meant by that statement because Heru did not explain it to me and I did not ask him about it either.
Many times when Heru came to meet me while Yani was having menstruation, he disliked what he felt and he would go out as soon as possible. He would only see me for awhile.
He also disliked wearing the bra when he came to meet me. He would request for it to be taken off or loosen the bra. He said it felt uncomfortable.
Many times Yani and I quarrelled but Heru was always there to make me forgave her. I forgave her because I loved Heru like my son and I did not want to leave him. It seemed after my mother's death, Yani and I often quarrelled about our business operation, especially about financial matters.
Once in the late evening at home, Yani and I quarrelled again and this time she shouted at me to get out from her house. I took some of my clothings and put it inside my bag. Without my knowledge, while I was packing-up my clothings, she told Lek Mim to lock the front gate. So, I climbed over the fences and I started walking. The dogs were barking and howling when I walked passed Natalia's house. Then when I turned my head around, behind me I saw Yani was following me about thirty to forty metres away. When I stopped walking, she would also stop walking too. This went on until I nearly reached the main road. I thought of checking into a hotel in Kuta for a night and I really wanted to fly off from Bali and perhaps go to Batam island (which is very near to Singapore). Then, I decided to just stopped walking and waited for Yani. Yani came closed to me but it was not Yani. It was Heru's voice, "Papi, where are you going? Immi Natalia, Soni and Heru saw Papi walking with a bag in hand. We followed Papi. Why Papi sad?" I cried when I heard Heru said that to me. He held my hand and pulled me to return home. I could not leave him. So, I decided to return home and forgave Yani. Upon reaching home, I went straight to bed to sleep. The next day I just acted like nothing had happend between Yani and I. Yani did the same thing too.
There was another occasion when Yani and I was exchanging heated words with each other, then when she went to sit at the small reading room, Heru suddenly came out crying and said, "Why Papi and Mami Yani must quarrelled. If Papi loves Heru, please do not quarrelled." He managed to cool me down and I stopped arguing with Yani. I told him I would not worry Mami Yani and I would not make Heru cried again. He replied, "Papi si! Papi don't want to 'sayang-sayang' (make love) Mami Yani." Most of that time I was so busy with the business and I forgotten about making Yani happy too. I was too exhausted when I reached home every morning or during the late night. It was just like when I was with Noorasmah too. History repeated itself again.
There was one occasion in the afternoon, I was angry with Yani's behaviours. She seemed not like herself anymore and she had changed like a wicked woman. She always showed anger towards the staffs and to me. I tried to talk to her but she refused to listen to me anymore. So, I decided to go out instead of arguing with her because I did not wish to upset her or Heru. I knew Heru was near by somewhere. I went out to the car and turned on the car engine. Heru came out from the house and he just sat on the car front bonnet, refusing to come down. I saw him crying and I decided to abandon my planned of going out. I went inside the house again and Heru would talk to me like a son wanting his father to stay at home.
Once in the night, I managed to drive off and I was really angry with Yani when I left the house. As I drove off, I saw Yani came out from the house and she just sat in a chair at the front porch of the house. I drove to the airport and stopped the car by the road side. I just watched the planes taking off and landing. In my heart, I just felt like going to the airport and booked a ticket back to Singapore. I still had my Singapore Passport with me and faced whatever nightmares that I supposed to encounter in my own country. I was really not happy with my life in Bali too though most of the time I had managed to blind fold my eyes with the reality checked of my life with Yani in Pulau Dewata. I knew I had some unsolved problems with Noorasmah. I knew deep in my heart and soul that she was probably sufferring from my evil deeds upon her loving and pure heart. My conscience was telling me to see carefully what it was like to live with Noorasmah and Yani. It was like comparing an angel with a demon. I remembered I was also crying loudly inside the car. Only God knew how I felt at that moment. I really needed to find solace in my life.
After an hour later, I returned home. Upon reaching home, Heru came to meet me saying that he was confused. "Heru didn't know whom to follow. Mami or Papi." His face expression was very sad. I told him not to worry because I did not have the intention to leave him.
Once Yani and I were sitting at the front porch of the house. We had a slight misunderstanding and she was sitting quietly. Then, Heru spoke to me, "Papi, Mami is thinking of leaving Papi! Mami intent to leave Papi!" I asked him what else Yani was thinking. He said, "Mami is not happy with Papi because Papi don't want Mami." I told him to persuade his Mami to cool down. Then he said, "Mami don't want to listen si. Mami too don't want to listen to Papi anymore. Mami still wants to leave Papi." He was so unhappy with her too and I could see that his eyes were really wide open when he said that to me. He seemed afraid too about the possibilities of Yani's intention. He was really afraid of losing her and possibly me too. I told him to tell his Mami that if she leave me, I would commit suicide. That statement was only to make Yani's thoughts to think twice. I knew Heru could sort of whisper inside Yani's mind and probably she would listen to that little voice in her conscience. He was reluctant but he did what I had told him to say to Yani. While Heru was sort of whispering to Yani, I could see that his eyes was moving with confusion and I could also see that he was also worried about Yani's thoughts. Then Heru said, "Heru try to tell Mami but Mami still very stubborn. Mami don't care about Papi and Mami still wants to leave Papi. Heru cannot do anything. Mami very stubborn si and Papi don't want to show Papi's love to Mami si!" He was crying too because I saw that Heru was seeing Yani's mind and feeling Yani's emotion within herself too. Somehow another I managed to calm Yani down after Heru left Yani's body. Then she told me that she wanted time for herself and she told me that she wanted to stay somewhere for awhile. I queried her about where she wanted to go but she just said that she would come back again and I did not have to worry about her. I could not discourage her from going and I had to trust her words in good faith.
During her absence, I was also worried sick about her safety and about the possibilities that she might leave me too. If that happened, I would not know what to do. She went for a week and I had to take care of the business with Lek Mim and Adi. There was one night when I was at the restaurant, I saw a taxi by the road side and there was someone watching at the direction of the restaurant. It did not come to my mind that Yani was watching me. Later when she returned home, she told me that she went to a hotel to stay and true enough, she said that she had watched me in a taxi on one occasion during the night.
All these incidences had happened when the business was very slow during the low tourist season in the first half year of 1994. I remembered that the soccer World Cup competition was on too. So, maybe majority of the tourists went to U.S.A to see the soccer matches over there and majority of them probably had preferred to stay at their own country, placing their large amount bets and watched the historical event on television. It was the first time ever when the U.S. was the host for such great event and their own soccer team was also one of the main contender in 1994 World Cup competition.
Natalia came to see me one day to complain about Gordon. She said that Gordon was coming home late at night most of the time now and she sometimes quarrelled with him for this reason. He told Natalia to tell me that he was doing some other business too and that was antique business. He needed to scout for the antiques so that he could export it to Australia or other countries. I told Natalia to allow Gordon to have some time for himself to do his work and she as a wife should listen to him. I told Natalia to be understanding and let him do his business because he had a responsibility to fulfil. Natalia listened to me and then left Yani's body.
It seemed that she came to see me at the time when I too was coming back late most of the time and Yani was at home most of the time. I was wondering whether she was actually implying to me about my own mistakes of concentrating too much on my business. Maybe she was referring to me and probably Gordon was 'working' for me. Maybe he was my 'guardian angel'?
Natalia met me one day to inform me that Mas Anton and Ricky left for Jogyakarta, in Central Java. Natalia told me that Mas Anton felt that it was better for Ricky to come along with him to Jogyakarta too. Anton left without saying goodbye to me. That was the last news I heard about Mas Anton and Ricky.
Heru asked me where were Om Anton and Om Ricky because he had not seen them for quite sometimes. I told him that they went home to Java to stay at Om Anton's house. Now there were only Natalia, Gordon, Budi, Soni, Heru and Mbok left as my family in the spirit world.
Once, he saw many marks on my body. These marks were due to my illness of chicken poxs while I was about nine or ten years old. He asked me what were those marks. I jokingly told him that those marks were caused by bullet wounds. He giggled because he said that those marks were hero marks. I wondered why subconsciously I had remarked in that manner. Maybe I was 'Osman' and I did not know about it or maybe Osman was talking to Heru, knowingly that I could hear them.
Then Heru mentioned to me that he wanted to become a soldier or a policeman when he grows up. I disliked the sound of his ambition because living in Indonesia during that period and maybe till now, I had hated those uniform groups in Indonesia because most of them were corrupted. So, I told him about being a fighter pilot was much better than being a soldier or a policeman. He loved the idea because he loved aeroplanes. In fact I had mentioned to Yani that should we have a son, I would like to see him to become a pilot.
One night, Heru came to me. I was asleep but he woke me up and he told me that he was really feeling hungry. There was no food at home so I told him that probably we need to go out to buy some food for him. I was really exhausted but I saw his eyes were sad. I could not bear to see him sad and hungry. So, we dressed up and got ourselves ready to go to a nearby 24 hours Padang restaurant. Heru would normally wear a short for Yani when he dressed up for her.
Inside the car, while I was driving, suddenly, he cried and there were full of tears in his eyes. He was really crying. So I asked him why he was crying. He said, "When Heru all grown-up and when Papi already old, Heru will take care of Papi."
LIFE - Mind Of A Mankind - Chapter Twenty-Six
IF YOU WISH ME TO STAY, I STAY
IF YOU WISH ME TO GO, I GO
IF YOU WISH ME TO GO, I GO
"Later, when Heru have a little brother, Heru will follow him.
Heru will give all Heru's toys for little brother to play with."
Heru's promise to me when Yani was about six months into her pregnancy.
(Bali, 1995).
Later, Heru informed me that Kakak's parents went to Jakarta to work there. Kakak would be alone in Bali with Mbah, her old maid, for awhile until such time when Kakak would join them to live together with her parents in Jakarta. In the meantime, the house monthly bills in their world were taken cared of by Kakak's uncle who was staying in other part of Bali. Later, Heru had informed me that Kakak's parents had failed to pay Mbah's her 'monthly salary' and sometimes Heru told me that Mbah was hungry. I felt sorry for her so I told Heru to tell Mbah to take the money that I had placed inside the small drawer for her to buy some food for herself. Heru met up with me later to convey to me, "Mbah say, 'Thank you' Papi." Later I checked the small drawer, the money was gone. Heru told me that Mbah told him that once she had children, a long time ago. They were all grown up. They had their own life now and she had her own life now. Then one day Natalia decided to take Mbah to live with her because Natalia needed her helped in taking care of Soni, Heru and the house work.
Heru told me that Gordon had opened up a shop at Nusa Dua, selling T-Shirts, Shorts and other clothing materials. He said that Soni would usually follow Gordon to the shop. Natalia was learning to cook and doing housework or reading novel books. He said that Natalia loved to cook hot dishes and Gordon would always grumble of her cooking because he disliked eating chillied hot dishes.
Heru said that cousin Henry had send a remote control toy airplane from New Zealand for Budi, Soni and himself to play with but Natalia had kept the remote control airplane after it accidentally got stcuk on a tree.
Heru also informed me that Budi's eyes were very small and he demonstrated it to me by pulling back at the side of his eyes to show how small it was as though like a Japanese eyes or features. I laughed when he did that demonstration. Was Heru trying to tell me that Budi was a Japaneses soul?
Heru always said to me that he wanted to be like me. He wanted to have black hair and Asian colour skin instead of his Caucasian features. He loved to be called 'Anak Indonesia' or Children of Indonesia because most of the spirits in his world thought that he was a tourist and each time they would talk to him like this, "Kamu tamu ya?" (You are a tourist ya?) and he would reply them, "Ngak. Saya anak Indonesia." (No. I'm Indonesia Child).
I had treated Margarita quite badly and I hated to have intimacy relationship with her. She said that I had ignored her while in her spirit world the White souls in Bali were treating her very well. Though I had treated her that way, Yani began to wear two gold rings on her left hand fourth finger. When I asked Yani why she wore it in that manner, she said that she just felt like wearing two gold rings on her fourth finger. But I knew what it meant because Margarita wanted to remind me about her status to me and furthermore, back in Jakarta at Hotel Danau Toba, she had promised me that she would try to do something about the wedding ring. She had fulfilled her promised to me but I was the wicked one and not Margarita.
It seemed that Margarita and the others could actually make Yani ignorant of her strange behaviours or they could have total control of Yani if they wished too. Yani seemed to behave more like them and having their characteristics rather than her own. I would not know whether Yani was Yani or them anymore because they could come and go silently without my knowledge.
Yani began to ask me question. She asked me, "What will you do if you are an orphan and then later you found out about your biological father identity? I told her that most probably I would look for him. Then she asked me, "You think its alright?" I replied affirmative. Then she told me, "What if I tell you that I know my biological father identity?" I just looked at her in amazement because I thought that Pak Sardi was her biological father. She told me that Lek Mim had told her about it and she was also so shocked to learn about the truth. But she said that whatever had happened, she would still regard Pak Sardi as her true father. I had no idea why Lek Mim had decided to talk to Yani about her biological father identity after all that years that had passed. She had told Yani that it was meant to be a family secret. That was the time I had discovered about Yani's real father identity. He was an officer in the Indonesian Police Force in Madiun. Yani told me that she would like to meet him later and talked to him but that never took place. Somewhere in 1995, she went back to Madiun but she did not manage to meet him personally because he was already married and he had a family too. She said that he was not around and her mother, the wife of her biological father, did not see her as her daughter.
One day, Yani asked me this question. "Dee Dee, what happened if I'm pregnant, and later I give birth to a white boy?" I was too shocked to hear that questioned. I asked her why she said that statement. She said that she had dreamt many times about a white boy. This little boy is cute. He can make himself small, smaller and smallest." I laughed when I heard her said that. So when Heru came to meet me after that, I had asked him exactly why he had seen his Mami in her dream. He said that Mami Yani loved little children and like to meet her. I asked him what he had done. He said that he had always made her see him in her dream so that they could be like a Mami and a son.
Later, Heru always drew pictures of a house, with three stick like figures with the genitals exposed. Then he would explain to me about his drawings. The female figure was supposedly Mami Yani and the male figure was me. The little child in the middle of Mami Yani and Papi, was himself, Heru. All of us were holding hands.
Once, Yani saw the drawings, she asked me whether I drew those pictures. I denied it and I told her that it was herself who had drawn those pictures. She was puzzled and she asked me again. Then I decided to tell a white lie to her that I drew those pictures. She commented that my drawings was horrible because it was like a child's drawing. I had remembered and kept my promised to them.
I taught Heru some children songs and later he sang some Christian children songs that he said Natalia had taught him. He loved to pray a Muslim prayer everynight before we went to sleep. The prayer was Surah (Chapter) One, Fatiha, or the Opening Chapter of the Al Qur'an. He hated it sometimes too when he felt too tired or too sleepy and normally I would insist that he completed the verse before he went to sleep. When that happened, he would recite it as fast as he could and I would normally allow him to do that just because he was just a little child (spirit).
He loved Walt Disney cartoons too. His favourites were Miki Tikus (Mickey Mouse) and Donald Bebek (Duck). He loved watching Home Alone (Part One). He would tell me that he was that small little boy and he wished to have that kind of hair style with the front fringe covering his left eye. At one time we were watching the movie "The Fireball" and there was one statement that he heard the little girl shouted in the movie, "My Mother is dead! My Father is dead!" Numerous times after that he repeated that statement to me wildly and I had to stopped him. Then he quiet down and he desist using that statement after I had strongly insisted him not to make that statement into a habit. It was not nice to hear.
One day, Heru had informed me that Impi Gordon's good friends, Om Paul and Tante Caroline, from Australia came to Bali for a visit. They would be in Bali for a holiday and he said that Tante Caroline had called him a Genius. He had difficulty in pronouncing the word and I had to correct him uttering that word. Heru queried me about the meaning and I explained it to him. He was so happy to hear the meaning and from that day onward, I called him "Kancil" or mouse deer. But later he did not like the pet name kancil because the rest started to call him by that name too and he sort of like sulkingly blamed me for making the rest to tease him by that pet name.
Then after a few days later, Heru told me that Tante Caroline had invited him to follow her back to Australia. Heru asked me if I would mind if he followed her and stay in Australia. I said "No" but I told him that in Australia there were many bad people there. Heru was afraid of going there after he heard what I had mentioned to him. Indirectly, I felt that if he went away, I would miss him very much.
I asked him whether there were many good people in his world if compared to the physical world. He said that he liked the physical world more than his own world because there were many good people in the physical world than his own world.
Heru had always mentioned to me that Om Ricky loved to see Yani wore sexy attires and he found Yani very pretty. He told me that Om Ricky would always drop by the house to see him and Yani. I had an impression that Ricky was falling in love with Yani from the way Heru had informed me. Heru told me that Om Ricky disliked my character because I had Margarita as my 'wife' in the world of the spirit and he also disliked me because I sort of neglected Margarita. He felt that it was unfair for Yani and Margarita to be treated by me in that way.
I met Ricky one evening through Yani. He spoke to me slowly in Bahasa Indonesia with a foreign accent. He highlighted to me about treating Margarita badly and being unfaithful towards Yani without her knowledge. I listened to him but I told him that I had regarded him like a brother too because he was Gordon's cousin. He replied that he had also regarded me like his brother too or else he would have taken Yani to his world. He was like drunk when he met up with me through Yani.
Then one evening, while Yani was sleeping, she began calling Ricky's name. Lek Mim and I heard it so we went to the bedroom to see what was the matter with Yani. Adi was at the mini-restaurant, taking care of the food business. In her sleep, she was calling for Ricky and crying for him not to leave her. Her eyes were opened and we could see the tears in her eyes. She was pleading with Ricky to take her away with him and it seemed that she had difficulty in breathing too. I spoke to her but she could not wake up from her sleep and she was still seeing something or someone in her sleep. Lek Mim was worried and I too was worried because Yani was actually reaching for someone invisible. Her upper body kept going up and down to reach something with her hands. We knew she was not acting because her breathing became weaker and weaker as we watched helplessly. I nearly gave up hoped because I could not wake her up even though I had poured some water on her face.
A few months before I fled from Singapore, I had a pen talisman that was loan to me by a Malay martial art master, who had lived at Haig Road. He told me that this talisman was a loan to me and after I had no need of its used, I should return to him the pen talisman. His name was Pak Hosni. He said that it was meant for my protection and also for my business.
This pen talisman has Quranic verses written on its copper exterior casing and when I opened it by pulling both ends of the pen apart, separating it in the middle, there were two sharp Kris liked blades from both sides of the pen. (Please take note, this pen could be smuggle inside the bag or inside the pocket without being traced by the security while boarding an aeroplane. I had tried it in the past during my constant visit to Jakarta. It was easily found in Indonesia, especially in Jakarta, Quitang district, The Quitang Mosque. Pak Hosni had received this talisman from someone in that mosque).
I took out that pen talisman from my wardrobe and let Yani held it in her hands. She became quieter and more relax. I told Lek Mim that a spirit from the unseen world was disturbing Yani. She just listened to me without commenting a word.
Yani then in her naive-hypnotised state of mind suddenly woke up and told us this, "I've just dreamt the most wonderful dream. I was walking towards a place where I saw many people waiting for me at a wedding function and I was wearing a wedding gown. It was like I was getting married and there was a big celebration for me. There were so many people there waiting for me and I felt so happy. Then I met my deceased Grandmother. She saw me and I was so happy to see her. She was reading a document but then she tore it in front of me, saying that it was not the time yet." Then I asked Yani what had happened after that but she went back to sleep.
We let her sleep and I looked at Lek Mim. She was also puzzled with Yani's strange dream. In my mind, I had this assumption that maybe it was the worked of Ricky because Yani was calling for him.
After about fifteen minutes, Yani woke up from her sleep and I questioned her about her dream but she had no recollection of it. I asked her about Ricky, whether she knew anybody by that name, She denied it. I knew Lek Mim had told Yani privately about the incident she had witnessed but Yani would disbelieve it and she would comment it as only a dream. Lek Mim would be unable to convince Yani that it was not a dream. I did not talk to them about it anymore and later that night when Heru came to meet me, I told him to call for Margarita to meet me.
Margarita came and I told her about what had happened to Yani. I told her that Ricky had tried to take Yani to the spirit world. She told me that probably Ricky had learned the art from someone in her world and she said that she would talk to Gordon about it. She told me that Ricky was a nice man when he was not drunk but when he got drunk, he became very nasty.
The next day, Margarita met up with me again and told me that Gordon had quarrelled with Ricky. Margarita told me that Gordon had actually wanted to smash Ricky's head with a broken beer bottle and Paul had stopped him from doing that. Gordon had scolded Ricky for his harsh action on me and told him to go away from Bali and not to return to him for any help or friendship anymore.
A few days later, Heru told me that Om Paul and Tante Caroline were going back to Australia. I send them to the airport and when we had reached the airport, Paul came to meet me to thank me in Bahasa Indonesia with a foreign accent. He shook my hand. I apologised to him and Caroline for spoiling their holiday. He just smiled and looked at me, then he left Yani's body. Later, Margarita told me that Mas Anton, Ricky and herself had leased another house nearby because they did not want to burden Natalia and Gordon anymore.
There was one occasion when Heru had possessed Yani and he told me that he had commanded Yani to go far away, so that he could take over control of Yani's body permanently, to be with me permanently. I scolded him and I told him that it was not good for him to do that on Mami Yani. I told him nicely to recall Yani back but he refused. So I angrily pinched his right toe to make him obey my wished. Then he left angrily too. For a few days he did not come to meet me.
When Yani personality came back on, I asked her whether she was alright and she said that she saw herself standing at the bank of a river under a big shady tree. I told her that she was only dreaming.
When Heru met me again, he was sulking and he said that I did not love him. I explained to him again like a father and told him to listen to me if he loved me like a father. He became a good boy spirit again. I told him to kiss Yani's right hand lovingly and to say to Mami Yani, "Please forgive Heru, Mami Yani." He obeyed my instructions. From that day onward, whenever he said something bad about Yani, I would tell him to do that action and to seek forgiveness from his Mami Yani.
I had a bad misunderstanding with Yani regarding about the ways of operating the twenty-four hours food business. She was really angry with me. She reminded me that she had left her family behind for me. Then she went away for a few days to stay in one of the small hotel in Kuta. When she came back home, Natalia came to meet me and informed me that Mbak Margarita was very ill. She had drank something called 'Magic Mushroom', a drink that used poisonous mushroom that could cause hallucination and loss of self-control. People in her world had found her lying at the roadside unconscious and she was sent to the hospital for treatment. She was really ill, weak and she was bed ridden. Margarita's parents from Jakarta were in Bali to take her home.
I asked Natalia why Margarita would do that to herself and I had this intuition that she probably had interfered in my misunderstanding with Yani. I told Natalia to question her about it.
There were two occasions whereby two White individuals got themselves 'high' in that manner. One was a female, a Frenchwoman and the other one was a male, an Australian national. They came to my twenty-four hours mini-restaurant for some meals but they were totally not themselves. I told them to relax themselves and gave them some coffee to drink because I wanted to make them sober from those bad 'Magic Mushroom' influenced.
The Frenchwoman was bare footed and there was no handbag or purse with her. When I questioned her about her hotel name so that I could send her back safely, she did not comprehend or respond to my inquiry. She could speak a little 'Bahasa Indonesia' and English. Sometimes she cried and sometimes she laughed. She was like seeing something else in her mind. Sometimes she could listen to me for awhile and then she would go into another state of mind or dimension. She would talk hysterically and she was hallucinating. Then she climbed on top of the table and started to dance on the tabletop. She did not know what she was doing and she left the restaurant walking aimlessly. I tried to stop her but I could not do anything for her because she was quite aggressive and besides, she was taller and bigger size than me. I really wanted to help her but she wished to go and I could not force her to stay.
The Australian man was sobered after he drank some coffee and after I had talked to him for a few hours. I let him talked to me whatever he wished to talk about. I just listened to him. He personally told me that he took that 'Magic Mushroom' drink to experiment and experience it for himself. I sent him back to his hotel safely. He had just travelled from Thailand and he gave me 'Terminator - Judgement Day' video tape for my help. I gave him my restaurant address but he never turned up the next day or any other day after that incident.
Once a local freelance tourist guide came to my restaurant and he had asked me personally whether I could cook some omelette with the poisonous mushroom inside it for his Japanese guests. He said that his guests wanted to try it for themselves. He said that he had the poisonous mushrooms with him and he would pay handsomely for my service. I rejected his offers because I knew it was wrong to do that and I had the feeling that he was up to no good. He left in the hurry perhaps thinking that I would inform the Japanese couple myself. After that encounter, and that was my first and last encounter with a crooked freelance tourist guide, I strongly instructed and informed my restaurant staffs not to accept any offers like that and they understood very clearly why I disliked that kind of tourist guides. There were many cases whereby the tourists were duped in that manner and most of them were robbed of their personal belongings and cash, and in some cases raped were committed.
Natalia came again to see me to tell me that she had questioned Margarita about it. Natalia said that Margarita was quiet when she had questioned her. Heru came and told me that Tante Rita would be leaving for Jakarta in a stretcher on that very day in the late afternoon and she was very sick. He said that Impi Gordon had told him that, "Tante Rita is resting." I saw Heru was sad and he cried when he told me that. I felt guilty for ignoring Margarita badly and I realised that when Yani had said that she had left her family for me, it was not Yani. It was Margarita herself. Heru reminded me again that Margarita and her parents would be leaving in the late afternoon in their time frame in their world and I was sitting in the early morning thinking about Margarita. About 4.00 a.m. in the morning, I heard in the distance, near Natalia's house, dogs were barking and howling for a long time and then the noise stopped. I cried silently in my heart because Margarita had left me.
On 25th June 1994, when I had received news about my mother's death, none of them came to see me because I was in mourning. A few days later, Heru came to meet me and he told me that Natalia felt sad and she had cried for me. Gordon felt sympathetic for me too. Then I asked Heru, "Heru, did you meet Papi's mother soul in Heru's world?" He was confused and he wanted to say something but he stopped short, "No, Papi." I wanted to ask him more but he did not want to answer my question and then he left without another word. I began to read the Holy Qur'an to make myself peaceful and to seek guidance from Allah; and to pray for my mother soul to be in peace with Allah.
A few days later, Heru met up with me and said that Impi Gordon was reading the thick Holy Bible just like the Holy Qur'an that I was reading. Then, Heru told me that they had worn nice and good clothings on Sunday to attend Church Service. Heru was very happy to see me again. Then he sang all the songs that Immi Natalia had taught him. He was really happy singing the children gospel songs too. I listened to him sang all those Christian children songs with happiness too.
Heru will give all Heru's toys for little brother to play with."
Heru's promise to me when Yani was about six months into her pregnancy.
(Bali, 1995).
Later, Heru informed me that Kakak's parents went to Jakarta to work there. Kakak would be alone in Bali with Mbah, her old maid, for awhile until such time when Kakak would join them to live together with her parents in Jakarta. In the meantime, the house monthly bills in their world were taken cared of by Kakak's uncle who was staying in other part of Bali. Later, Heru had informed me that Kakak's parents had failed to pay Mbah's her 'monthly salary' and sometimes Heru told me that Mbah was hungry. I felt sorry for her so I told Heru to tell Mbah to take the money that I had placed inside the small drawer for her to buy some food for herself. Heru met up with me later to convey to me, "Mbah say, 'Thank you' Papi." Later I checked the small drawer, the money was gone. Heru told me that Mbah told him that once she had children, a long time ago. They were all grown up. They had their own life now and she had her own life now. Then one day Natalia decided to take Mbah to live with her because Natalia needed her helped in taking care of Soni, Heru and the house work.
Heru told me that Gordon had opened up a shop at Nusa Dua, selling T-Shirts, Shorts and other clothing materials. He said that Soni would usually follow Gordon to the shop. Natalia was learning to cook and doing housework or reading novel books. He said that Natalia loved to cook hot dishes and Gordon would always grumble of her cooking because he disliked eating chillied hot dishes.
Heru said that cousin Henry had send a remote control toy airplane from New Zealand for Budi, Soni and himself to play with but Natalia had kept the remote control airplane after it accidentally got stcuk on a tree.
Heru also informed me that Budi's eyes were very small and he demonstrated it to me by pulling back at the side of his eyes to show how small it was as though like a Japanese eyes or features. I laughed when he did that demonstration. Was Heru trying to tell me that Budi was a Japaneses soul?
Heru always said to me that he wanted to be like me. He wanted to have black hair and Asian colour skin instead of his Caucasian features. He loved to be called 'Anak Indonesia' or Children of Indonesia because most of the spirits in his world thought that he was a tourist and each time they would talk to him like this, "Kamu tamu ya?" (You are a tourist ya?) and he would reply them, "Ngak. Saya anak Indonesia." (No. I'm Indonesia Child).
I had treated Margarita quite badly and I hated to have intimacy relationship with her. She said that I had ignored her while in her spirit world the White souls in Bali were treating her very well. Though I had treated her that way, Yani began to wear two gold rings on her left hand fourth finger. When I asked Yani why she wore it in that manner, she said that she just felt like wearing two gold rings on her fourth finger. But I knew what it meant because Margarita wanted to remind me about her status to me and furthermore, back in Jakarta at Hotel Danau Toba, she had promised me that she would try to do something about the wedding ring. She had fulfilled her promised to me but I was the wicked one and not Margarita.
It seemed that Margarita and the others could actually make Yani ignorant of her strange behaviours or they could have total control of Yani if they wished too. Yani seemed to behave more like them and having their characteristics rather than her own. I would not know whether Yani was Yani or them anymore because they could come and go silently without my knowledge.
Yani began to ask me question. She asked me, "What will you do if you are an orphan and then later you found out about your biological father identity? I told her that most probably I would look for him. Then she asked me, "You think its alright?" I replied affirmative. Then she told me, "What if I tell you that I know my biological father identity?" I just looked at her in amazement because I thought that Pak Sardi was her biological father. She told me that Lek Mim had told her about it and she was also so shocked to learn about the truth. But she said that whatever had happened, she would still regard Pak Sardi as her true father. I had no idea why Lek Mim had decided to talk to Yani about her biological father identity after all that years that had passed. She had told Yani that it was meant to be a family secret. That was the time I had discovered about Yani's real father identity. He was an officer in the Indonesian Police Force in Madiun. Yani told me that she would like to meet him later and talked to him but that never took place. Somewhere in 1995, she went back to Madiun but she did not manage to meet him personally because he was already married and he had a family too. She said that he was not around and her mother, the wife of her biological father, did not see her as her daughter.
One day, Yani asked me this question. "Dee Dee, what happened if I'm pregnant, and later I give birth to a white boy?" I was too shocked to hear that questioned. I asked her why she said that statement. She said that she had dreamt many times about a white boy. This little boy is cute. He can make himself small, smaller and smallest." I laughed when I heard her said that. So when Heru came to meet me after that, I had asked him exactly why he had seen his Mami in her dream. He said that Mami Yani loved little children and like to meet her. I asked him what he had done. He said that he had always made her see him in her dream so that they could be like a Mami and a son.
Later, Heru always drew pictures of a house, with three stick like figures with the genitals exposed. Then he would explain to me about his drawings. The female figure was supposedly Mami Yani and the male figure was me. The little child in the middle of Mami Yani and Papi, was himself, Heru. All of us were holding hands.
Once, Yani saw the drawings, she asked me whether I drew those pictures. I denied it and I told her that it was herself who had drawn those pictures. She was puzzled and she asked me again. Then I decided to tell a white lie to her that I drew those pictures. She commented that my drawings was horrible because it was like a child's drawing. I had remembered and kept my promised to them.
I taught Heru some children songs and later he sang some Christian children songs that he said Natalia had taught him. He loved to pray a Muslim prayer everynight before we went to sleep. The prayer was Surah (Chapter) One, Fatiha, or the Opening Chapter of the Al Qur'an. He hated it sometimes too when he felt too tired or too sleepy and normally I would insist that he completed the verse before he went to sleep. When that happened, he would recite it as fast as he could and I would normally allow him to do that just because he was just a little child (spirit).
He loved Walt Disney cartoons too. His favourites were Miki Tikus (Mickey Mouse) and Donald Bebek (Duck). He loved watching Home Alone (Part One). He would tell me that he was that small little boy and he wished to have that kind of hair style with the front fringe covering his left eye. At one time we were watching the movie "The Fireball" and there was one statement that he heard the little girl shouted in the movie, "My Mother is dead! My Father is dead!" Numerous times after that he repeated that statement to me wildly and I had to stopped him. Then he quiet down and he desist using that statement after I had strongly insisted him not to make that statement into a habit. It was not nice to hear.
One day, Heru had informed me that Impi Gordon's good friends, Om Paul and Tante Caroline, from Australia came to Bali for a visit. They would be in Bali for a holiday and he said that Tante Caroline had called him a Genius. He had difficulty in pronouncing the word and I had to correct him uttering that word. Heru queried me about the meaning and I explained it to him. He was so happy to hear the meaning and from that day onward, I called him "Kancil" or mouse deer. But later he did not like the pet name kancil because the rest started to call him by that name too and he sort of like sulkingly blamed me for making the rest to tease him by that pet name.
Then after a few days later, Heru told me that Tante Caroline had invited him to follow her back to Australia. Heru asked me if I would mind if he followed her and stay in Australia. I said "No" but I told him that in Australia there were many bad people there. Heru was afraid of going there after he heard what I had mentioned to him. Indirectly, I felt that if he went away, I would miss him very much.
I asked him whether there were many good people in his world if compared to the physical world. He said that he liked the physical world more than his own world because there were many good people in the physical world than his own world.
Heru had always mentioned to me that Om Ricky loved to see Yani wore sexy attires and he found Yani very pretty. He told me that Om Ricky would always drop by the house to see him and Yani. I had an impression that Ricky was falling in love with Yani from the way Heru had informed me. Heru told me that Om Ricky disliked my character because I had Margarita as my 'wife' in the world of the spirit and he also disliked me because I sort of neglected Margarita. He felt that it was unfair for Yani and Margarita to be treated by me in that way.
I met Ricky one evening through Yani. He spoke to me slowly in Bahasa Indonesia with a foreign accent. He highlighted to me about treating Margarita badly and being unfaithful towards Yani without her knowledge. I listened to him but I told him that I had regarded him like a brother too because he was Gordon's cousin. He replied that he had also regarded me like his brother too or else he would have taken Yani to his world. He was like drunk when he met up with me through Yani.
Then one evening, while Yani was sleeping, she began calling Ricky's name. Lek Mim and I heard it so we went to the bedroom to see what was the matter with Yani. Adi was at the mini-restaurant, taking care of the food business. In her sleep, she was calling for Ricky and crying for him not to leave her. Her eyes were opened and we could see the tears in her eyes. She was pleading with Ricky to take her away with him and it seemed that she had difficulty in breathing too. I spoke to her but she could not wake up from her sleep and she was still seeing something or someone in her sleep. Lek Mim was worried and I too was worried because Yani was actually reaching for someone invisible. Her upper body kept going up and down to reach something with her hands. We knew she was not acting because her breathing became weaker and weaker as we watched helplessly. I nearly gave up hoped because I could not wake her up even though I had poured some water on her face.
A few months before I fled from Singapore, I had a pen talisman that was loan to me by a Malay martial art master, who had lived at Haig Road. He told me that this talisman was a loan to me and after I had no need of its used, I should return to him the pen talisman. His name was Pak Hosni. He said that it was meant for my protection and also for my business.
This pen talisman has Quranic verses written on its copper exterior casing and when I opened it by pulling both ends of the pen apart, separating it in the middle, there were two sharp Kris liked blades from both sides of the pen. (Please take note, this pen could be smuggle inside the bag or inside the pocket without being traced by the security while boarding an aeroplane. I had tried it in the past during my constant visit to Jakarta. It was easily found in Indonesia, especially in Jakarta, Quitang district, The Quitang Mosque. Pak Hosni had received this talisman from someone in that mosque).
I took out that pen talisman from my wardrobe and let Yani held it in her hands. She became quieter and more relax. I told Lek Mim that a spirit from the unseen world was disturbing Yani. She just listened to me without commenting a word.
Yani then in her naive-hypnotised state of mind suddenly woke up and told us this, "I've just dreamt the most wonderful dream. I was walking towards a place where I saw many people waiting for me at a wedding function and I was wearing a wedding gown. It was like I was getting married and there was a big celebration for me. There were so many people there waiting for me and I felt so happy. Then I met my deceased Grandmother. She saw me and I was so happy to see her. She was reading a document but then she tore it in front of me, saying that it was not the time yet." Then I asked Yani what had happened after that but she went back to sleep.
We let her sleep and I looked at Lek Mim. She was also puzzled with Yani's strange dream. In my mind, I had this assumption that maybe it was the worked of Ricky because Yani was calling for him.
After about fifteen minutes, Yani woke up from her sleep and I questioned her about her dream but she had no recollection of it. I asked her about Ricky, whether she knew anybody by that name, She denied it. I knew Lek Mim had told Yani privately about the incident she had witnessed but Yani would disbelieve it and she would comment it as only a dream. Lek Mim would be unable to convince Yani that it was not a dream. I did not talk to them about it anymore and later that night when Heru came to meet me, I told him to call for Margarita to meet me.
Margarita came and I told her about what had happened to Yani. I told her that Ricky had tried to take Yani to the spirit world. She told me that probably Ricky had learned the art from someone in her world and she said that she would talk to Gordon about it. She told me that Ricky was a nice man when he was not drunk but when he got drunk, he became very nasty.
The next day, Margarita met up with me again and told me that Gordon had quarrelled with Ricky. Margarita told me that Gordon had actually wanted to smash Ricky's head with a broken beer bottle and Paul had stopped him from doing that. Gordon had scolded Ricky for his harsh action on me and told him to go away from Bali and not to return to him for any help or friendship anymore.
A few days later, Heru told me that Om Paul and Tante Caroline were going back to Australia. I send them to the airport and when we had reached the airport, Paul came to meet me to thank me in Bahasa Indonesia with a foreign accent. He shook my hand. I apologised to him and Caroline for spoiling their holiday. He just smiled and looked at me, then he left Yani's body. Later, Margarita told me that Mas Anton, Ricky and herself had leased another house nearby because they did not want to burden Natalia and Gordon anymore.
There was one occasion when Heru had possessed Yani and he told me that he had commanded Yani to go far away, so that he could take over control of Yani's body permanently, to be with me permanently. I scolded him and I told him that it was not good for him to do that on Mami Yani. I told him nicely to recall Yani back but he refused. So I angrily pinched his right toe to make him obey my wished. Then he left angrily too. For a few days he did not come to meet me.
When Yani personality came back on, I asked her whether she was alright and she said that she saw herself standing at the bank of a river under a big shady tree. I told her that she was only dreaming.
When Heru met me again, he was sulking and he said that I did not love him. I explained to him again like a father and told him to listen to me if he loved me like a father. He became a good boy spirit again. I told him to kiss Yani's right hand lovingly and to say to Mami Yani, "Please forgive Heru, Mami Yani." He obeyed my instructions. From that day onward, whenever he said something bad about Yani, I would tell him to do that action and to seek forgiveness from his Mami Yani.
I had a bad misunderstanding with Yani regarding about the ways of operating the twenty-four hours food business. She was really angry with me. She reminded me that she had left her family behind for me. Then she went away for a few days to stay in one of the small hotel in Kuta. When she came back home, Natalia came to meet me and informed me that Mbak Margarita was very ill. She had drank something called 'Magic Mushroom', a drink that used poisonous mushroom that could cause hallucination and loss of self-control. People in her world had found her lying at the roadside unconscious and she was sent to the hospital for treatment. She was really ill, weak and she was bed ridden. Margarita's parents from Jakarta were in Bali to take her home.
I asked Natalia why Margarita would do that to herself and I had this intuition that she probably had interfered in my misunderstanding with Yani. I told Natalia to question her about it.
There were two occasions whereby two White individuals got themselves 'high' in that manner. One was a female, a Frenchwoman and the other one was a male, an Australian national. They came to my twenty-four hours mini-restaurant for some meals but they were totally not themselves. I told them to relax themselves and gave them some coffee to drink because I wanted to make them sober from those bad 'Magic Mushroom' influenced.
The Frenchwoman was bare footed and there was no handbag or purse with her. When I questioned her about her hotel name so that I could send her back safely, she did not comprehend or respond to my inquiry. She could speak a little 'Bahasa Indonesia' and English. Sometimes she cried and sometimes she laughed. She was like seeing something else in her mind. Sometimes she could listen to me for awhile and then she would go into another state of mind or dimension. She would talk hysterically and she was hallucinating. Then she climbed on top of the table and started to dance on the tabletop. She did not know what she was doing and she left the restaurant walking aimlessly. I tried to stop her but I could not do anything for her because she was quite aggressive and besides, she was taller and bigger size than me. I really wanted to help her but she wished to go and I could not force her to stay.
The Australian man was sobered after he drank some coffee and after I had talked to him for a few hours. I let him talked to me whatever he wished to talk about. I just listened to him. He personally told me that he took that 'Magic Mushroom' drink to experiment and experience it for himself. I sent him back to his hotel safely. He had just travelled from Thailand and he gave me 'Terminator - Judgement Day' video tape for my help. I gave him my restaurant address but he never turned up the next day or any other day after that incident.
Once a local freelance tourist guide came to my restaurant and he had asked me personally whether I could cook some omelette with the poisonous mushroom inside it for his Japanese guests. He said that his guests wanted to try it for themselves. He said that he had the poisonous mushrooms with him and he would pay handsomely for my service. I rejected his offers because I knew it was wrong to do that and I had the feeling that he was up to no good. He left in the hurry perhaps thinking that I would inform the Japanese couple myself. After that encounter, and that was my first and last encounter with a crooked freelance tourist guide, I strongly instructed and informed my restaurant staffs not to accept any offers like that and they understood very clearly why I disliked that kind of tourist guides. There were many cases whereby the tourists were duped in that manner and most of them were robbed of their personal belongings and cash, and in some cases raped were committed.
Natalia came again to see me to tell me that she had questioned Margarita about it. Natalia said that Margarita was quiet when she had questioned her. Heru came and told me that Tante Rita would be leaving for Jakarta in a stretcher on that very day in the late afternoon and she was very sick. He said that Impi Gordon had told him that, "Tante Rita is resting." I saw Heru was sad and he cried when he told me that. I felt guilty for ignoring Margarita badly and I realised that when Yani had said that she had left her family for me, it was not Yani. It was Margarita herself. Heru reminded me again that Margarita and her parents would be leaving in the late afternoon in their time frame in their world and I was sitting in the early morning thinking about Margarita. About 4.00 a.m. in the morning, I heard in the distance, near Natalia's house, dogs were barking and howling for a long time and then the noise stopped. I cried silently in my heart because Margarita had left me.
On 25th June 1994, when I had received news about my mother's death, none of them came to see me because I was in mourning. A few days later, Heru came to meet me and he told me that Natalia felt sad and she had cried for me. Gordon felt sympathetic for me too. Then I asked Heru, "Heru, did you meet Papi's mother soul in Heru's world?" He was confused and he wanted to say something but he stopped short, "No, Papi." I wanted to ask him more but he did not want to answer my question and then he left without another word. I began to read the Holy Qur'an to make myself peaceful and to seek guidance from Allah; and to pray for my mother soul to be in peace with Allah.
A few days later, Heru met up with me and said that Impi Gordon was reading the thick Holy Bible just like the Holy Qur'an that I was reading. Then, Heru told me that they had worn nice and good clothings on Sunday to attend Church Service. Heru was very happy to see me again. Then he sang all the songs that Immi Natalia had taught him. He was really happy singing the children gospel songs too. I listened to him sang all those Christian children songs with happiness too.
LIFE - Mind Of A Mankind - Chapter Twenty-Five
HERU AND I
"'Annie kata Papi nya pakai tali-dasi dan bawa tas ke kantor nya. Kerjanya tulis-tulis.' Papi, Heru mau Papi kerja kayak Papi Annie."
"'Annie says that her father wears a neck-tie and carries briefcase to his office. His occupation is to write and write.' Papi, I want you to be like Annie's father."
Heru remarked about his friend's father (1995, Bali)
One day in January 1994, Heru came to meet me and sulkingly he had complained to me that Soni had disallowed him to pedal the tricycle. Most of the time he had to sit behind as a passenger. He disliked being a passenger and he was not happy. He said that Natalia would always tell him to submit to Soni because Soni was supposedly slightly older than him. I listened to him and laughed. I told him that maybe Soni need to pedal more than him because it was a good form of exercise for Soni after the surgery. He listened to my explanation and told me that he would prefer to talk to me. Most of the time I would think about him, for instance, where he was and what he was doing, what the rest are doing and how they were getting on with their life. He loved to spend time with me because I was very accommodating towards him and I did not like to scold him too. He asked me whether I would mind if he came to meet me everyday and I told him that it was alright. I taught him to sing some children songs and he loved to sing.
Heru started to follow me to the our mini-restaurant business together.
Every morning, Heru would shake my nose lightly to wake me up to get ready to go to work. He said that whenever we passed by Natalia's house, they would ask him where he was going and he would reply to them, "I'm going for business!" I laughed when he told me that. So, every morning, after Yani and I had entered the car, I would say like this to Yani, "Are you ready?" Yani would reply, "Yes!" But then I would ask her again and looked at her, "Are you ready? Yani would look at me with her puzzled expression and reply again "Yes!" I would ask this a couple of time until I heard Heru himself replied to me "Yes!" with his smile with the tip of his tongue sticking out from his mouth. He looked cute and happy whenever he did that. Then I would drive off for work. Sometimes, before Yani could even asked me why I had asked her each time whether she was ready, Heru would just come in and take over her body to reply "Yes! Ready!." Yani would never remember what had taken place earlier on after that.
At the mini-restaurant, he would turn up for his meal time too and he would tell me that he had been to the next door shop to make friends with the spirits that were there. I remembered the first time he followed me, he said to me that Natalia and Gordon had warned him to behave. He also told me that Gordon had told him to tell me this, "If Om Bi ask you to do anything for him, tell Om Bi that Heru cannot do anything and Heru do not know anything because Heru is still small." When I heard that I laughed at him and in my mind, I knew what Gordon had meant with that statement. He was afraid that I would use Heru's help to influence the minds of passer-by to patronise my mini-restaurant. I never did that and I never requested Heru or anyone of them to do that for me because I knew it was not ethical and professional. Furthermore, I was taught in my Islamic faith that it was sinful if I had done so. (Just for your information, many Malays, Indonesians, Chinese and others in South-East Asia believed that the spirits could help them in their business.) Everytime, when I returned home, I would stop in front of Natalia's house to drop Heru off. Yani would be like in a dazed after a few seconds, I would lightly shake her hand to awaken her. The strange thing was, everytime when I stopped in front of Natalia's house, the dogs in the nearby houses would bark and howl or the dogs outside the house would crowd around the car to bark and howl at us.
Heru told me that he had started to address Natalia as "Immi", Gordon as "Impi", Margarita as "Tante (Aunt) Rita or Tante 'Gendut' (means Fat Aunt), Mas Anton as "Om Anton", Ricky as "Om Ricky", Kakak's old maid as "Mbah" and Yani as "Tante Yani". He said that each time when he called Margarita "Tante Gendut", she would chase after him but he could outrun her and she would be very angry with him.
Heru informed me that Budi had already begun to attend the SD (Sekolah Dasar or Primary School) within the housing estate. He also told me that Soni and him slept together with Natalia and Gordon. They had a very comfortable bed unlike mine. He always asked me to buy a bed similar to the one at Natalia's house. He said that they had air-conditioning at their house. Each time when "Immi" and "Impi" made loved he felf ashamed. Soni and him would close their eyes with their hands pretending to sleep but at the same time peeping in between their fingers. I laughed together with him when I heard him said that. Heru loved to draw Natalia's and Gordon's stick-like naked bodies with their genitals exposed. I laughed when he explained to me about their genitals.
He said that Margarita, Ricky and Mas Anton always went to nightclubs or discotheques.
He said that Gordon had cut his hair short GI style and he had taken off his earing. When I asked him why, he said that Gordon told him that he was already married and he must be like a good father. He told me that Gordon was very tall and he had a beard before but had shaven it off too because Natalia had wanted him to look more younger.
Heru loved to eat with me and when he happened to eat hot-chillied dishes, he would cry and drink plenty of water or he would eat some sugars to lessen his hot taste buds. He loved me to spoon fed him too because he loved my attention for him but most of the time he would like to use a spoon to feed himself. He would grabbed the handle of the spoon like a child would instead of holding it like adults do. He loved eating potato chips and he disliked to eat mashed potatoes that Gordon had prepared with the mushroom sauce because he said that it look liked shits. He said that each time when he uttered the word 'Shit', Gordon would be angry and chased him but he always manage to escape from Gordon by hiding under the bed at their home. Basically, Heru loved to eat.
He disliked drinking milk and he felt like vomitting when he drank it. He disliked the smell of milk because to him it smell like a smelly feet.
Heru loved to go swimming and usually Budi, Soni and the others would join us. He loved to go to many places together with me and we would be talking while I was driving the car. Each time when we drove passed the Bali Ngurah Rai International airport, when he saw Qantas or Air New Zealand Airlines, he would shout out happily, "Kuantas! That's 'Australi' airline, Mimpi Gordon country airlines or that's Air Nuzelan airline, 'cousin' Henry's country airline." I had taught him to recognise the logos of those airlines. Heru loved aeroplanes very much and he loved to fly on board an aeroplane too.
Heru said that each time Mbah prostrated on the praying mattress during her prayers, he would jump onto her back and she would be angry with him.
Mbah would always carry him home to Natalia's house when he spend the time with me at my house in the evening. Each time when Heru decided to return home, there would be dogs barking and howling, eventhough when I looked outside from the window, there was nobody around to be seen.
One day Heru asked me, "Om Bi, do you know my Papi and Mami?" I did not know how to answer him, so I lied to him and said 'yes' to him. Then he asked, "Are they good or bad?" I was not prepared for this kind of question from him, so I lied to him, "They are good." He queried further, "If they are good, why they left Heru?" I told him, "They never left Heru but they went to Australia for work to earn a lot of money and after they have a lot of money, they will come back to take care of Heru." I asked him why he asked all these questions. He said, "My friends always call me a step child or a bastard child. What is a step child and what is a bastard child means, Om Bi?" I could not answer him and I told him not to listen to his friends' teasing. Then he asked again, "Om Bi, will my Mami and Papi come back for Heru again because if they don't, later when Heru has grown bigger, Heru will look for them in 'Australi'. I lied to him that his parents would return home one day for him and I remained silent because of his questions. Then Heru said, "Om Bi, Heru have no Papi. Can Heru call Om Bi, Papi?" I wanted him to be happy so I let him called me 'Papi'. Then he asked me, "Papi, Heru never 'nen-nen' (breast feeding) before because Heru's Mami never gives Heru to 'nen-nen'. Can Papi gives Heru to 'nen-nen'?" I was so surprised with his requests but I wanted him to be happy and forget about his parents. I agreed to give Heru to 'nen-nen' and he wanted to suckle my nipple but I told him that I felt ticklish, so instead I gave him to suckle one of my ear lobe and he was very pleased with it.
That day was the day I became like a father to Heru and he called me 'Papi' until the day I was deported to Singapore. I let him to suckle my ear lobe everytime when he wanted to go to sleep and he was always with me from that day onward. I also told him to called Yani 'Mami' instead of 'Tante' and he should regard Yani like his own mother too. When Budi and Soni wanted to call me 'Papi' too, he disallowed it but I did not mind if they wanted to call me by that name too. Heru adamantly disallowed it.
Once Heru asked me this, "Papi, why is it Heru is err..err..err..here and Papi over there?" He had difficulty in asking me this question because he did not know how to explain it to me. I understood his questioned. What he meant was why was it that he was in another world, an unseen world whereas I was in another world, the physical world. I answered him, "Well, if God were to make all of us in the same world, the world would be full and congested. That is why God created two worlds for us." He thought about it and then naively laughed at my answer to him and said, "Ya! He..he..he..If God put all of us in the same world, the world would be full and congested..he..he..he" Then he said, "How nice if Heru can be with Papi so that Heru can always be near Papi and Heru don't have to meet Papi through Mami Yani."
"'Annie kata Papi nya pakai tali-dasi dan bawa tas ke kantor nya. Kerjanya tulis-tulis.' Papi, Heru mau Papi kerja kayak Papi Annie."
"'Annie says that her father wears a neck-tie and carries briefcase to his office. His occupation is to write and write.' Papi, I want you to be like Annie's father."
Heru remarked about his friend's father (1995, Bali)
One day in January 1994, Heru came to meet me and sulkingly he had complained to me that Soni had disallowed him to pedal the tricycle. Most of the time he had to sit behind as a passenger. He disliked being a passenger and he was not happy. He said that Natalia would always tell him to submit to Soni because Soni was supposedly slightly older than him. I listened to him and laughed. I told him that maybe Soni need to pedal more than him because it was a good form of exercise for Soni after the surgery. He listened to my explanation and told me that he would prefer to talk to me. Most of the time I would think about him, for instance, where he was and what he was doing, what the rest are doing and how they were getting on with their life. He loved to spend time with me because I was very accommodating towards him and I did not like to scold him too. He asked me whether I would mind if he came to meet me everyday and I told him that it was alright. I taught him to sing some children songs and he loved to sing.
Heru started to follow me to the our mini-restaurant business together.
Every morning, Heru would shake my nose lightly to wake me up to get ready to go to work. He said that whenever we passed by Natalia's house, they would ask him where he was going and he would reply to them, "I'm going for business!" I laughed when he told me that. So, every morning, after Yani and I had entered the car, I would say like this to Yani, "Are you ready?" Yani would reply, "Yes!" But then I would ask her again and looked at her, "Are you ready? Yani would look at me with her puzzled expression and reply again "Yes!" I would ask this a couple of time until I heard Heru himself replied to me "Yes!" with his smile with the tip of his tongue sticking out from his mouth. He looked cute and happy whenever he did that. Then I would drive off for work. Sometimes, before Yani could even asked me why I had asked her each time whether she was ready, Heru would just come in and take over her body to reply "Yes! Ready!." Yani would never remember what had taken place earlier on after that.
At the mini-restaurant, he would turn up for his meal time too and he would tell me that he had been to the next door shop to make friends with the spirits that were there. I remembered the first time he followed me, he said to me that Natalia and Gordon had warned him to behave. He also told me that Gordon had told him to tell me this, "If Om Bi ask you to do anything for him, tell Om Bi that Heru cannot do anything and Heru do not know anything because Heru is still small." When I heard that I laughed at him and in my mind, I knew what Gordon had meant with that statement. He was afraid that I would use Heru's help to influence the minds of passer-by to patronise my mini-restaurant. I never did that and I never requested Heru or anyone of them to do that for me because I knew it was not ethical and professional. Furthermore, I was taught in my Islamic faith that it was sinful if I had done so. (Just for your information, many Malays, Indonesians, Chinese and others in South-East Asia believed that the spirits could help them in their business.) Everytime, when I returned home, I would stop in front of Natalia's house to drop Heru off. Yani would be like in a dazed after a few seconds, I would lightly shake her hand to awaken her. The strange thing was, everytime when I stopped in front of Natalia's house, the dogs in the nearby houses would bark and howl or the dogs outside the house would crowd around the car to bark and howl at us.
Heru told me that he had started to address Natalia as "Immi", Gordon as "Impi", Margarita as "Tante (Aunt) Rita or Tante 'Gendut' (means Fat Aunt), Mas Anton as "Om Anton", Ricky as "Om Ricky", Kakak's old maid as "Mbah" and Yani as "Tante Yani". He said that each time when he called Margarita "Tante Gendut", she would chase after him but he could outrun her and she would be very angry with him.
Heru informed me that Budi had already begun to attend the SD (Sekolah Dasar or Primary School) within the housing estate. He also told me that Soni and him slept together with Natalia and Gordon. They had a very comfortable bed unlike mine. He always asked me to buy a bed similar to the one at Natalia's house. He said that they had air-conditioning at their house. Each time when "Immi" and "Impi" made loved he felf ashamed. Soni and him would close their eyes with their hands pretending to sleep but at the same time peeping in between their fingers. I laughed together with him when I heard him said that. Heru loved to draw Natalia's and Gordon's stick-like naked bodies with their genitals exposed. I laughed when he explained to me about their genitals.
He said that Margarita, Ricky and Mas Anton always went to nightclubs or discotheques.
He said that Gordon had cut his hair short GI style and he had taken off his earing. When I asked him why, he said that Gordon told him that he was already married and he must be like a good father. He told me that Gordon was very tall and he had a beard before but had shaven it off too because Natalia had wanted him to look more younger.
Heru loved to eat with me and when he happened to eat hot-chillied dishes, he would cry and drink plenty of water or he would eat some sugars to lessen his hot taste buds. He loved me to spoon fed him too because he loved my attention for him but most of the time he would like to use a spoon to feed himself. He would grabbed the handle of the spoon like a child would instead of holding it like adults do. He loved eating potato chips and he disliked to eat mashed potatoes that Gordon had prepared with the mushroom sauce because he said that it look liked shits. He said that each time when he uttered the word 'Shit', Gordon would be angry and chased him but he always manage to escape from Gordon by hiding under the bed at their home. Basically, Heru loved to eat.
He disliked drinking milk and he felt like vomitting when he drank it. He disliked the smell of milk because to him it smell like a smelly feet.
Heru loved to go swimming and usually Budi, Soni and the others would join us. He loved to go to many places together with me and we would be talking while I was driving the car. Each time when we drove passed the Bali Ngurah Rai International airport, when he saw Qantas or Air New Zealand Airlines, he would shout out happily, "Kuantas! That's 'Australi' airline, Mimpi Gordon country airlines or that's Air Nuzelan airline, 'cousin' Henry's country airline." I had taught him to recognise the logos of those airlines. Heru loved aeroplanes very much and he loved to fly on board an aeroplane too.
Heru said that each time Mbah prostrated on the praying mattress during her prayers, he would jump onto her back and she would be angry with him.
Mbah would always carry him home to Natalia's house when he spend the time with me at my house in the evening. Each time when Heru decided to return home, there would be dogs barking and howling, eventhough when I looked outside from the window, there was nobody around to be seen.
One day Heru asked me, "Om Bi, do you know my Papi and Mami?" I did not know how to answer him, so I lied to him and said 'yes' to him. Then he asked, "Are they good or bad?" I was not prepared for this kind of question from him, so I lied to him, "They are good." He queried further, "If they are good, why they left Heru?" I told him, "They never left Heru but they went to Australia for work to earn a lot of money and after they have a lot of money, they will come back to take care of Heru." I asked him why he asked all these questions. He said, "My friends always call me a step child or a bastard child. What is a step child and what is a bastard child means, Om Bi?" I could not answer him and I told him not to listen to his friends' teasing. Then he asked again, "Om Bi, will my Mami and Papi come back for Heru again because if they don't, later when Heru has grown bigger, Heru will look for them in 'Australi'. I lied to him that his parents would return home one day for him and I remained silent because of his questions. Then Heru said, "Om Bi, Heru have no Papi. Can Heru call Om Bi, Papi?" I wanted him to be happy so I let him called me 'Papi'. Then he asked me, "Papi, Heru never 'nen-nen' (breast feeding) before because Heru's Mami never gives Heru to 'nen-nen'. Can Papi gives Heru to 'nen-nen'?" I was so surprised with his requests but I wanted him to be happy and forget about his parents. I agreed to give Heru to 'nen-nen' and he wanted to suckle my nipple but I told him that I felt ticklish, so instead I gave him to suckle one of my ear lobe and he was very pleased with it.
That day was the day I became like a father to Heru and he called me 'Papi' until the day I was deported to Singapore. I let him to suckle my ear lobe everytime when he wanted to go to sleep and he was always with me from that day onward. I also told him to called Yani 'Mami' instead of 'Tante' and he should regard Yani like his own mother too. When Budi and Soni wanted to call me 'Papi' too, he disallowed it but I did not mind if they wanted to call me by that name too. Heru adamantly disallowed it.
Once Heru asked me this, "Papi, why is it Heru is err..err..err..here and Papi over there?" He had difficulty in asking me this question because he did not know how to explain it to me. I understood his questioned. What he meant was why was it that he was in another world, an unseen world whereas I was in another world, the physical world. I answered him, "Well, if God were to make all of us in the same world, the world would be full and congested. That is why God created two worlds for us." He thought about it and then naively laughed at my answer to him and said, "Ya! He..he..he..If God put all of us in the same world, the world would be full and congested..he..he..he" Then he said, "How nice if Heru can be with Papi so that Heru can always be near Papi and Heru don't have to meet Papi through Mami Yani."
LIFE - Mind Of A Mankind - Chapter Twenty-Four
THE LOVE WE SHARED
If you feel my love,
Then show it to my world and yours,
That we are not nothing.
We have feelings too.
Our Love is like I Love You.
If you wish to know my love,
Then show it to the world
Our love for them too.
We say 'Goodbye' because We must
But that doesn't mean We must.
If you feel me now,
Please forgive me now.
For I came so far to say to you,
I love you and please love life,
The way I love you now.
Prayers of the souls from near you
(The above text is written by automatic writing technique only today and now as I conclude this chapter. You can feel them within your heart and see them within your mind. They are near you.)
Natalia came to meet me in the early period of November just to chat about general matters pertaining to their new home and how they were doing. I was talking to her about the boys and then a thought came to me about the boys' age and also about their birth date. So I told Natalia, "Why not have a birthday celebration and party for Budi, Soni and Heru. I thought about it and I told Natalia to make those boys wondered about having the dates of their birth the same, so that they could celebrate it together and to celebrate it as soon as possible. It was also a good way for them to know their neighbours and a house warming invitation for them. Natalia was very happy with the idea. And the 14th of November, was the birthday celebration for Budi, Soni and Heru. I knew it was good for them to know and experience what it was like to have friends coming over to their birthday party and having numerous friends talking and playing with them.
It was a grand party and it was just like they had wanted. I was very pleased with their birthday celebration and Natalia told me that Gordon had invited all their neighbours and friends to attend the birthday party for the boys. He had specially invited a clown to play and entertaining the children. Budi, Soni and Heru had a great time. They loved meeting children and having them over to play games with their new friends. Natalia told me that the boys had received many presents and Gordon was thrilled to have his friends to celebrate together with him and his family. Margarita, Mas Anton and Ricky were there too to make the occasion more lively and fun for the guests. That was the information I had gathered from Natalia, Margarita, Mas Anton.
The boys were still unavailable for me to talk to for reasons I did not know until one day when Heru told me that they were told by Natalia and Gordon not to disturb Yani and I, because Natalia had told them that Yani and I were too busy and exhausted to talk to them. I found out from Heru too that Natalia had warned them of going to my new home because she did not want Kakak's family to be disturbed by them. They were also afraid of going into my new home because they did not know Kakak's family but they usually walked past outside my house just to peek and see who were or was inside it.
The first time I met Heru in my new home was in the early period of December 1993. Heru said that he had made himself brave to approach Kakak. He narrated to me what he had done and said.
He had knocked on the door and at the same time calling out, 'Permisi! Permisi! (Excuse me! Excuse me)' loudly. Then Kakak opened the door. Then he spoke to her like this,"Permisi. Saya datang untuk berjumpa dengan Om Bi. Boleh nggak?" In English, he said, "Excuse me. I've come to meet my uncle Bi. Can or cannot?" Kakak asked him who he was and he had introduced himself to her and she replied to him, "Oh! Boleh. Kamu boleh jumpa Om kamu" (Oh! Can. You can meet your uncle.)'.
Heru said that Kakak had commented that he looked very cute and she had slightly pinched his chubby cheek. And they became good with each other like a big sister and a little brother. From that day onward, Heru came very often to meet me. Then Budi and Soni came to meet me too. They said that their birthday celebration was very good and they had a wonderful time. They loved receiving presents from their friends. It was their way to thank me for showing my love for them too.
One thing I noticed when I spoke to Heru and Soni, they seemed to have developed their communication skills with me though they sometimes found it hard to express or explain things to me. They seemed to have grown up much faster in their spirit world if compared to the physical world babies and children.
I remembered teaching Heru to nod his head as he listened to the songs or music. He loved that and I also taught Budi, Soni and Heru to raise their hands and sway their hands side to side when they danced. They loved raggae songs and music.
I remembered looking at Soni danced slowly with his legs kicking right to left and left to right. He stepped forward and backward in goodstead. I was happy for him though when he walked, he still had to move slowly. He would bring one foot at a time and then he would move forward. Heru mentioned that when Soni ran slowly, he would skip and sometimes he ran like a horse.
Margarita told me that Heru loved to meet me because he felt like an adult. He liked to be seen like a grown-up and he loved having heights like a grown-up. It was like he was already big enough to speak to adult and looked like an adult. So, possessing Yani's physical body was like that for him and Heru loved to be pampered by me. And he loved talking to me because I was like his favourite uncle. Then she mentioned that Heru was more tougher than Soni. Soni would cry like a baby when he was not given those things that he wanted. Heru on the other hand, would like to make himself look tough and he would not be happy if they treated him like a child. He disliked his chubby cheeks being pinched lightly by adult spirits as they complimented his cute features.
In the middle of December 1993, Heru told me about the coming Christmas celebration that Gordon, Natalia and the rest had planned for themselves. I felt pleased with this information because I could feel and 'see' that Natalia, Gordon and the rest were happy together like a family and I felt satisfied and happy for them too. So, a few days before Christmas, I told Heru that I wanted to give a present to Natalia. I wrote a note to her on a piece of paper that was the exact size of an Indonesian rupiah currency. It was the only way for me to passed a written note to her because I had thought that if they could make money disappeared and materialised, then they probably could do that if I wrote on a piece of paper.
I wrote,"To Natalia. Though I am not available to see you celebrate the coming Christmas, I am there with you to celebrate Christmas within your heart. I will always be your brother and I will always be there for you whenever you need me. Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year everyone. God Bless All Of You! With All My Love, Your Brother, Mas Robi."
Heru told me to place the note inside a small drawer of a desk in the living room. Then I left it for a few minutes. Yani was in a dazed state of mind. Like staring at something in a distant place. Later when I opened that drawer, the note was gone.
The day after Christmas, Heru came again and said that Kakak's maid, Mbah had helped him to take that piece of paper for him and he had given that note to Natalia. On the night of Christmas, Gordon had read that note near the Christmas Tree to everyone that were present in their home to celebrate Christmas. Heru told me that Natalia's eyes were full of tears when she heard Gordon read my note and all of them clapped their hands after listening to my written note to Natalia.
Then show it to my world and yours,
That we are not nothing.
We have feelings too.
Our Love is like I Love You.
If you wish to know my love,
Then show it to the world
Our love for them too.
We say 'Goodbye' because We must
But that doesn't mean We must.
If you feel me now,
Please forgive me now.
For I came so far to say to you,
I love you and please love life,
The way I love you now.
Prayers of the souls from near you
(The above text is written by automatic writing technique only today and now as I conclude this chapter. You can feel them within your heart and see them within your mind. They are near you.)
Natalia came to meet me in the early period of November just to chat about general matters pertaining to their new home and how they were doing. I was talking to her about the boys and then a thought came to me about the boys' age and also about their birth date. So I told Natalia, "Why not have a birthday celebration and party for Budi, Soni and Heru. I thought about it and I told Natalia to make those boys wondered about having the dates of their birth the same, so that they could celebrate it together and to celebrate it as soon as possible. It was also a good way for them to know their neighbours and a house warming invitation for them. Natalia was very happy with the idea. And the 14th of November, was the birthday celebration for Budi, Soni and Heru. I knew it was good for them to know and experience what it was like to have friends coming over to their birthday party and having numerous friends talking and playing with them.
It was a grand party and it was just like they had wanted. I was very pleased with their birthday celebration and Natalia told me that Gordon had invited all their neighbours and friends to attend the birthday party for the boys. He had specially invited a clown to play and entertaining the children. Budi, Soni and Heru had a great time. They loved meeting children and having them over to play games with their new friends. Natalia told me that the boys had received many presents and Gordon was thrilled to have his friends to celebrate together with him and his family. Margarita, Mas Anton and Ricky were there too to make the occasion more lively and fun for the guests. That was the information I had gathered from Natalia, Margarita, Mas Anton.
The boys were still unavailable for me to talk to for reasons I did not know until one day when Heru told me that they were told by Natalia and Gordon not to disturb Yani and I, because Natalia had told them that Yani and I were too busy and exhausted to talk to them. I found out from Heru too that Natalia had warned them of going to my new home because she did not want Kakak's family to be disturbed by them. They were also afraid of going into my new home because they did not know Kakak's family but they usually walked past outside my house just to peek and see who were or was inside it.
The first time I met Heru in my new home was in the early period of December 1993. Heru said that he had made himself brave to approach Kakak. He narrated to me what he had done and said.
He had knocked on the door and at the same time calling out, 'Permisi! Permisi! (Excuse me! Excuse me)' loudly. Then Kakak opened the door. Then he spoke to her like this,"Permisi. Saya datang untuk berjumpa dengan Om Bi. Boleh nggak?" In English, he said, "Excuse me. I've come to meet my uncle Bi. Can or cannot?" Kakak asked him who he was and he had introduced himself to her and she replied to him, "Oh! Boleh. Kamu boleh jumpa Om kamu" (Oh! Can. You can meet your uncle.)'.
Heru said that Kakak had commented that he looked very cute and she had slightly pinched his chubby cheek. And they became good with each other like a big sister and a little brother. From that day onward, Heru came very often to meet me. Then Budi and Soni came to meet me too. They said that their birthday celebration was very good and they had a wonderful time. They loved receiving presents from their friends. It was their way to thank me for showing my love for them too.
One thing I noticed when I spoke to Heru and Soni, they seemed to have developed their communication skills with me though they sometimes found it hard to express or explain things to me. They seemed to have grown up much faster in their spirit world if compared to the physical world babies and children.
I remembered teaching Heru to nod his head as he listened to the songs or music. He loved that and I also taught Budi, Soni and Heru to raise their hands and sway their hands side to side when they danced. They loved raggae songs and music.
I remembered looking at Soni danced slowly with his legs kicking right to left and left to right. He stepped forward and backward in goodstead. I was happy for him though when he walked, he still had to move slowly. He would bring one foot at a time and then he would move forward. Heru mentioned that when Soni ran slowly, he would skip and sometimes he ran like a horse.
Margarita told me that Heru loved to meet me because he felt like an adult. He liked to be seen like a grown-up and he loved having heights like a grown-up. It was like he was already big enough to speak to adult and looked like an adult. So, possessing Yani's physical body was like that for him and Heru loved to be pampered by me. And he loved talking to me because I was like his favourite uncle. Then she mentioned that Heru was more tougher than Soni. Soni would cry like a baby when he was not given those things that he wanted. Heru on the other hand, would like to make himself look tough and he would not be happy if they treated him like a child. He disliked his chubby cheeks being pinched lightly by adult spirits as they complimented his cute features.
In the middle of December 1993, Heru told me about the coming Christmas celebration that Gordon, Natalia and the rest had planned for themselves. I felt pleased with this information because I could feel and 'see' that Natalia, Gordon and the rest were happy together like a family and I felt satisfied and happy for them too. So, a few days before Christmas, I told Heru that I wanted to give a present to Natalia. I wrote a note to her on a piece of paper that was the exact size of an Indonesian rupiah currency. It was the only way for me to passed a written note to her because I had thought that if they could make money disappeared and materialised, then they probably could do that if I wrote on a piece of paper.
I wrote,"To Natalia. Though I am not available to see you celebrate the coming Christmas, I am there with you to celebrate Christmas within your heart. I will always be your brother and I will always be there for you whenever you need me. Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year everyone. God Bless All Of You! With All My Love, Your Brother, Mas Robi."
Heru told me to place the note inside a small drawer of a desk in the living room. Then I left it for a few minutes. Yani was in a dazed state of mind. Like staring at something in a distant place. Later when I opened that drawer, the note was gone.
The day after Christmas, Heru came again and said that Kakak's maid, Mbah had helped him to take that piece of paper for him and he had given that note to Natalia. On the night of Christmas, Gordon had read that note near the Christmas Tree to everyone that were present in their home to celebrate Christmas. Heru told me that Natalia's eyes were full of tears when she heard Gordon read my note and all of them clapped their hands after listening to my written note to Natalia.
LIFE - Mind Of A Mankind - Chapter Twenty-Three
THE MORTALS & IMMORTALS LIVING TOGETHER
CHANGE
By Changing Your Thinking,
You Change Your Beliefs;
When You Change Your Beliefs,
You Change Your Expectations;
When You Change Your Expectations,
You Change Your Attitude;
When You Change Your Attitude,
You Change Your Behaviour;
When You Change Your Behaviour,
You Change Your Performance;
When You Change Your Performance,
You Change Your Life!
Author Unknown
(I had only recently came across the message written above, pinned up on a notice board, while I was having a tea break in the morning with the staffs on 2nd December 2004. I thought I included this secret message with all of you in this chapter. Thanks.)
In early October 1993, Natalia and Gordon were wishing for a house for themselves. In August 1993, Yani and I had secured a terrace house in Nusa Dua after we had returned from Jakarta. This was done because our house leased for one year in Kuta Permai was going to expire in December 1993. Natalia and Gordon had gone around in the housing estates that Yani and I was going to stay. They wished to stay in the same housing estate where Yani and I lived too. So, we droved around the housing estate and when they saw a house that was to their liking, Natalia would ask me to stop the car. Yani in her altered state of mind and I would wait for them inside the car while they went into that house to see the Spirit or Spirits that had occupied that house. Then finally, Natalia said that they had managed to lease a house in their world and it was about 400 hundred metres away from our house. Natalia showed me where they would be living and the human occupants of that house were Christians too. Gordon, Natalia, Margarita, Mas Anton, Ricky, Budi, Soni and Heru; immediately shifted to their new home at Nusa Dua. After that I did not meet them for a couple of weeks and we were too busy trying to settle our own business preparation. I guessed that they were busy too with their new home.
Yani and I managed to find a place just outside Kuta tourist's district for a small food business. It was located at Jalan Tanjung Sari (now Jalan Plambangan). The money payment for this leased was around Rp3400000 for two years leased, excluding the monthly electricity and water bills. It was a good bargain and it was quite a good location. In front of this long row of small shops complex, there were two prominent buildings. A small hotel called Kompiang Hotel (but now it has been demolished and a small three storey shopping retail outlet stands); and a Buddhist Temple. We sold off our Honda Civic car for more cash to be generated into the business and we bought an old Toyota Crown, 1977 model. It was an old car but it was in very good condition. It cost Rp7000000. We painted the shop and bought the necessary things for the food business. We did not do any renovation because our capital was constrained. We opened our business on 25th October 1993.
Yani and I shifted to our new home in Nusa Dua in the early period of November 1993. Yani, Adi and Lek Mim and I were most of the time busy in operating our small food business. Natalia, Gordon, Margarita, Mas Anton, Ricky, Budi, Soni and Heru seemed to be fading away from our lives and Yani was herself again for a few weeks. We had our own lives to live and they had their own lives to live in their own world.
At our new house at Nusa Dua, which was about 12 kilometres from our shop, there was a spirit couple and they had a daughter. They were Muslim Spirits (Djinns). The daughter called herself as "Kakak" or Sister. Her parents did not want to reveal their names to me according to Margarita and Natalia. They wished to be anonymous. It seemed that they were not in good rapport with my spirit family in the unseen world initially and then later things got well between them. I remembered the first time I met Kakak, while an old contractor was repairing the house extension and painting the house. She came quietly and left quietly but I had sensed her presence and behaviours through Yani. So when I questioned her about her home in her world, whether they had a good home, she was boastful and stuck-up. She said that her house had all the necessary materials that were much better than the things I owned. When I questioned her further about herself and her parents, she remained silent about it. I let her be and she left without saying much. Yani personality returned immediately as though Kakak never possessed her.
The old contractor once had informed me that while he was sleeping at night in our new house, a couple of times he had heard very clearly cryings of a little child. He assured me that it was not his imagination and he was wide awake. When he went to check around the house, there was nobody and later the crying would continue again. I listened to his story but I was not afraid. I was wondering whether there was another spirit that I was not aware of or informed by my spirit family in the unseen realm and this little spirit entity was living in our house. I knew Budi, Soni and Heru were the child spirits and I was wondering why would any of them cried in our new house, because Natalia, Gordon and the rest were taking good care of them in their own home.
Kakak was a teenager spirit and she was studying in SMA (College). I was told by Heru later that Kakak's parents were always not around because they were too busy working in a hotel in Bali but there was an old woman spirit, which Heru called as "Mbah" (Grandmother) that was working as a maid. She was taking care of Kakak and doing the houseworks.
After we had shifted, Margarita met me one day at our new home and told me that Ibu came to see our new house. Ibu had said that it was a nice house and Gordon had informed Natalia that our house was a nice place too. Margarita told me also that she wished to give Yani and I a present for that new house. I had no idea what she meant by that.
The next day, Yani had informed me that she had ordered curtains for the house windows when a curtain salesman had passed by the house. It was quite expensive. I knew Yani did not have so much money left in her wallet or in her bank account, so when I queried about where she got the money to purchase the curtains, she said that the money was in her wallet. She had thought that I had put the money inside her wallet. She was so surprised when I told her that I did not put any cash inside her wallet. She disbelieved me thinking that it was a joke. After that we did not talked about it anymore. Two days later, when I arrived home from the shop, I was so surprised to see the double layered curtains, white and blue, were in placed. It was a beautiful sight to see the windows with nice colours that I felt was very smashing and made the house more lively.
Later Margarita met me and said that she had bought the curtains through Yani as a present for the house. Ibu had helped her to put the money inside Yani's wallet. Margarita was very happy to see her present being appreciated by Yani and I. She said that she loved Yani too because Yani was then already liked a sister to her. Margarita informed me that she was staying with Natalia and the rest. She felt uncomfortable staying in the same house with Yani and I because there were other spirits staying in it but she could visit me once in awhile. And then she left.
CHANGE
By Changing Your Thinking,
You Change Your Beliefs;
When You Change Your Beliefs,
You Change Your Expectations;
When You Change Your Expectations,
You Change Your Attitude;
When You Change Your Attitude,
You Change Your Behaviour;
When You Change Your Behaviour,
You Change Your Performance;
When You Change Your Performance,
You Change Your Life!
Author Unknown
(I had only recently came across the message written above, pinned up on a notice board, while I was having a tea break in the morning with the staffs on 2nd December 2004. I thought I included this secret message with all of you in this chapter. Thanks.)
In early October 1993, Natalia and Gordon were wishing for a house for themselves. In August 1993, Yani and I had secured a terrace house in Nusa Dua after we had returned from Jakarta. This was done because our house leased for one year in Kuta Permai was going to expire in December 1993. Natalia and Gordon had gone around in the housing estates that Yani and I was going to stay. They wished to stay in the same housing estate where Yani and I lived too. So, we droved around the housing estate and when they saw a house that was to their liking, Natalia would ask me to stop the car. Yani in her altered state of mind and I would wait for them inside the car while they went into that house to see the Spirit or Spirits that had occupied that house. Then finally, Natalia said that they had managed to lease a house in their world and it was about 400 hundred metres away from our house. Natalia showed me where they would be living and the human occupants of that house were Christians too. Gordon, Natalia, Margarita, Mas Anton, Ricky, Budi, Soni and Heru; immediately shifted to their new home at Nusa Dua. After that I did not meet them for a couple of weeks and we were too busy trying to settle our own business preparation. I guessed that they were busy too with their new home.
Yani and I managed to find a place just outside Kuta tourist's district for a small food business. It was located at Jalan Tanjung Sari (now Jalan Plambangan). The money payment for this leased was around Rp3400000 for two years leased, excluding the monthly electricity and water bills. It was a good bargain and it was quite a good location. In front of this long row of small shops complex, there were two prominent buildings. A small hotel called Kompiang Hotel (but now it has been demolished and a small three storey shopping retail outlet stands); and a Buddhist Temple. We sold off our Honda Civic car for more cash to be generated into the business and we bought an old Toyota Crown, 1977 model. It was an old car but it was in very good condition. It cost Rp7000000. We painted the shop and bought the necessary things for the food business. We did not do any renovation because our capital was constrained. We opened our business on 25th October 1993.
Yani and I shifted to our new home in Nusa Dua in the early period of November 1993. Yani, Adi and Lek Mim and I were most of the time busy in operating our small food business. Natalia, Gordon, Margarita, Mas Anton, Ricky, Budi, Soni and Heru seemed to be fading away from our lives and Yani was herself again for a few weeks. We had our own lives to live and they had their own lives to live in their own world.
At our new house at Nusa Dua, which was about 12 kilometres from our shop, there was a spirit couple and they had a daughter. They were Muslim Spirits (Djinns). The daughter called herself as "Kakak" or Sister. Her parents did not want to reveal their names to me according to Margarita and Natalia. They wished to be anonymous. It seemed that they were not in good rapport with my spirit family in the unseen world initially and then later things got well between them. I remembered the first time I met Kakak, while an old contractor was repairing the house extension and painting the house. She came quietly and left quietly but I had sensed her presence and behaviours through Yani. So when I questioned her about her home in her world, whether they had a good home, she was boastful and stuck-up. She said that her house had all the necessary materials that were much better than the things I owned. When I questioned her further about herself and her parents, she remained silent about it. I let her be and she left without saying much. Yani personality returned immediately as though Kakak never possessed her.
The old contractor once had informed me that while he was sleeping at night in our new house, a couple of times he had heard very clearly cryings of a little child. He assured me that it was not his imagination and he was wide awake. When he went to check around the house, there was nobody and later the crying would continue again. I listened to his story but I was not afraid. I was wondering whether there was another spirit that I was not aware of or informed by my spirit family in the unseen realm and this little spirit entity was living in our house. I knew Budi, Soni and Heru were the child spirits and I was wondering why would any of them cried in our new house, because Natalia, Gordon and the rest were taking good care of them in their own home.
Kakak was a teenager spirit and she was studying in SMA (College). I was told by Heru later that Kakak's parents were always not around because they were too busy working in a hotel in Bali but there was an old woman spirit, which Heru called as "Mbah" (Grandmother) that was working as a maid. She was taking care of Kakak and doing the houseworks.
After we had shifted, Margarita met me one day at our new home and told me that Ibu came to see our new house. Ibu had said that it was a nice house and Gordon had informed Natalia that our house was a nice place too. Margarita told me also that she wished to give Yani and I a present for that new house. I had no idea what she meant by that.
The next day, Yani had informed me that she had ordered curtains for the house windows when a curtain salesman had passed by the house. It was quite expensive. I knew Yani did not have so much money left in her wallet or in her bank account, so when I queried about where she got the money to purchase the curtains, she said that the money was in her wallet. She had thought that I had put the money inside her wallet. She was so surprised when I told her that I did not put any cash inside her wallet. She disbelieved me thinking that it was a joke. After that we did not talked about it anymore. Two days later, when I arrived home from the shop, I was so surprised to see the double layered curtains, white and blue, were in placed. It was a beautiful sight to see the windows with nice colours that I felt was very smashing and made the house more lively.
Later Margarita met me and said that she had bought the curtains through Yani as a present for the house. Ibu had helped her to put the money inside Yani's wallet. Margarita was very happy to see her present being appreciated by Yani and I. She said that she loved Yani too because Yani was then already liked a sister to her. Margarita informed me that she was staying with Natalia and the rest. She felt uncomfortable staying in the same house with Yani and I because there were other spirits staying in it but she could visit me once in awhile. And then she left.
LIFE - Mind Of A Mankind - Chapter Twenty-Two
SILLY BUT TRUE
"I'm going for business!"
Heru replied to them, whenever they asked him where he was going? ( 1994, Bali)
Margarita came to meet me one day and she asked me again to follow her back to her world. She really wanted to take me to her. She said that she would find someone who could take me to her world because she did not possess that knowledge and she had assured me that she would be there to invite me. That was what she had mentioned to me.
I was feeling miserable with my life as a fugitive and I was actually missing my family in Singapore. Earlier that day I had a misunderstanding with Yani and I felt lonely but not her. She had her brother and aunty living together with us.
I had agreed to Margarita's suggestion and then I lie down on the bed. Margarita went out of the room and a few seconds later came back into the room again. I was waiting for Margarita to lie next to me and held my hand. It was not Margarita's personality but it was a different entity.
This entity had a low hunchback. She walked to my side of the bed and in a low old woman voice she said, "Why must you follow her? Your life now is good here. It's not good for you to follow her." Then she collapsed over me. I tried to wake her up but that entity had already left Yani's body and Yani was unconscious. I carried Yani and put her down to lie next to me. She was breathing normally. Then I took a nap.
I had no idea how long my nap was but I was awakened by Yani who was crying for me not to leave her. I felt very weak and sleepy. I had difficulty waking-up. When I opened up my eyes, I saw that she was crying and apologising to me pertinent to her stubborness and anger towards me that we had earlier on. She really cried and it was not an act. I felt weak and faintly I asked her what was the matter. She thought I had suddenly fell ill and I was dying. Well, I felt warmed and I had a slight headache and maybe a slight temperature too. I told her not to worry about my health and I was alright. She mentioned that if possible she did not want to see me fell ill again because she would be confused and she would not know what to do. She told me that she was trying to wake me up for quite sometimes but I did not open up my eyes. She was really worried for me. While I was napping, I did not recall any dream that I had. Maybe I was really dying huh!
There were no possession for a few days then one day Margarita met me and said this, "Mas Robi, if you follow me to my world, it's as though I've murdered you. Please forgive me." Then she left Yani's body. She never invited me to follow her anymore from that day onward and we never talked about it anymore too.
Mas Anton came to meet me one day and informed me that his sister Nonik and Jean were going home to Jogyakarta to get 'married'. Their parents were willing to accept Jean as their 'son-in-law'. Mas Anton said that he would still remain in Bali. That was the last news I heard from him about Nonik and Jean. I never met Nonik anymore after that news.
I remembered telling Heru that I was angry with Yani. He just listened to me. Then while Yani was asleep, suddenly Yani shouted "Ouch! Ouch!" Two times she shouted but she remained asleep. The first time when she shouted that, her face turned to the left and the second time her face turned to the right. It looked as if she was punched and she seemed to feel the pain too. Heru came on and told me that he had punched Yani for being stubborn and angry. I quickly examined Yani's face but there were no bruises. I felt relieved and softly I scolded Heru never again to do that on Yani. He just smiled at me with the tip of his tongue sticking out and I could sense that he felt guilty for doing that left right combination. In my heart, I was laughing too when I saw his expression. I wondered where Heru had learned that violent action. Maybe too much watching violent movies I guessed.
"I'm going for business!"
Heru replied to them, whenever they asked him where he was going? ( 1994, Bali)
Margarita came to meet me one day and she asked me again to follow her back to her world. She really wanted to take me to her. She said that she would find someone who could take me to her world because she did not possess that knowledge and she had assured me that she would be there to invite me. That was what she had mentioned to me.
I was feeling miserable with my life as a fugitive and I was actually missing my family in Singapore. Earlier that day I had a misunderstanding with Yani and I felt lonely but not her. She had her brother and aunty living together with us.
I had agreed to Margarita's suggestion and then I lie down on the bed. Margarita went out of the room and a few seconds later came back into the room again. I was waiting for Margarita to lie next to me and held my hand. It was not Margarita's personality but it was a different entity.
This entity had a low hunchback. She walked to my side of the bed and in a low old woman voice she said, "Why must you follow her? Your life now is good here. It's not good for you to follow her." Then she collapsed over me. I tried to wake her up but that entity had already left Yani's body and Yani was unconscious. I carried Yani and put her down to lie next to me. She was breathing normally. Then I took a nap.
I had no idea how long my nap was but I was awakened by Yani who was crying for me not to leave her. I felt very weak and sleepy. I had difficulty waking-up. When I opened up my eyes, I saw that she was crying and apologising to me pertinent to her stubborness and anger towards me that we had earlier on. She really cried and it was not an act. I felt weak and faintly I asked her what was the matter. She thought I had suddenly fell ill and I was dying. Well, I felt warmed and I had a slight headache and maybe a slight temperature too. I told her not to worry about my health and I was alright. She mentioned that if possible she did not want to see me fell ill again because she would be confused and she would not know what to do. She told me that she was trying to wake me up for quite sometimes but I did not open up my eyes. She was really worried for me. While I was napping, I did not recall any dream that I had. Maybe I was really dying huh!
There were no possession for a few days then one day Margarita met me and said this, "Mas Robi, if you follow me to my world, it's as though I've murdered you. Please forgive me." Then she left Yani's body. She never invited me to follow her anymore from that day onward and we never talked about it anymore too.
Mas Anton came to meet me one day and informed me that his sister Nonik and Jean were going home to Jogyakarta to get 'married'. Their parents were willing to accept Jean as their 'son-in-law'. Mas Anton said that he would still remain in Bali. That was the last news I heard from him about Nonik and Jean. I never met Nonik anymore after that news.
I remembered telling Heru that I was angry with Yani. He just listened to me. Then while Yani was asleep, suddenly Yani shouted "Ouch! Ouch!" Two times she shouted but she remained asleep. The first time when she shouted that, her face turned to the left and the second time her face turned to the right. It looked as if she was punched and she seemed to feel the pain too. Heru came on and told me that he had punched Yani for being stubborn and angry. I quickly examined Yani's face but there were no bruises. I felt relieved and softly I scolded Heru never again to do that on Yani. He just smiled at me with the tip of his tongue sticking out and I could sense that he felt guilty for doing that left right combination. In my heart, I was laughing too when I saw his expression. I wondered where Heru had learned that violent action. Maybe too much watching violent movies I guessed.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
LIFE - Mind Of A Mankind - Chapter Twenty-One
ONE NIGHT IN MALANG
"You can use this cash from our world but when its midnight, this cash will turn into ashes."
Margarita's warning (1993, Malang, East Java)
"You can use this cash from our world but when its midnight, this cash will turn into ashes."
After Heru became a part of the family, Mas Anton told me that Natalia, Gordan and Soni were staying in one of the hotel at Nusa Dua for a week or two after they had returned from their honeymoon. Later on after their returned, Natalia told me that Gordon just wanted to have some privacy and time for themselves. They brought Soni along with them because Natalia had promised me that she and Gordon would take care of him. I guessed they had regarded Soni like their own 'son'.
During Soni's absence, Heru was always looking for Soni but I told him that Soni would be back soon. He too loved flowers with sweet aroma. He loved to see things and he loved to stare at it and then he would query me about them. So I talked to him more often than the rest. I could not remember much about what Heru and I talked about because he was still communicating to me like a child learning to talk.
Budi told me that he had already attended SD (Primary) school in his world and he was in SD Satu (Primary One) class. He told me that he was the oldest and much bigger in body stature among the rest of the SD Satu class students. Many of the pupils were afraid of him and he was happy to study there. So I told him to study hard. I promised him that if he managed to pass his examinations and attained the first standing position in his class, I would buy for him a bicycle. He was happy to hear that from me and he was also smiling widely. He seemed to listen to me now like I was his uncle.
Well, as usual, we went for swimming at Ramayana Hotel in Kuta. So when Heru came to meet me while we were in the pool, I asked him whether the rest were swimming too and he nodded. He pointed with his forefinger that they were at the other side of the pool. Heru swum like a dog, paddling all his four limbs. I think most babies would swim like that.
Yani was not a good swimmer and I had taught her the breast stroke style while we were in Lombok. Eversince then, she loved swimming. Margarita told me that she was a good swimmer because her house in Jakarta had a swimming pool. I asked her to show me her swimming skill and she swum like a skillful swimmer.
There was an elderly Caucasian man sitting in the restaurant and I was aware that he was watching Yani while she was swimming. The beautiful thing was that after Margarita had demonstrated to me her swimming skill, he had actually smiled and clapped his hands. Both Margarita and I smiled at him and we were delighted with his participation.
Later I met another entity who called himself as Ricky. He was the cousin of Gordon from Australia. He came to Bali to visit Gordon and also for a holiday. He loved to drink and he always got drunk. Margarita told me that when Ricky got drunk, it was difficult for them to control him because he would be very aggressive and annoying. But when Ricky was not drunk, he was really a very nice man.
It was in the middle of October 1993, Yani and I decided to open a small food business in Bali. We had decided to go back to Malang, East Java, to fetch her aunty, Lek (Aunty) Mim. We needed her help to cook and run the food business together with us.
Margarita told me that Natalia, Gordon, Mas Anton, Nonik, Jean, Ricky, Budi, Soni, Heru and herself would join Yani and I for that trip.
We took a flight to Surabaya and at Surabaya we checked into Natour Hotel. Yani told me that she wished to visit her family at the village from there. She chartered a car from the hotel. The trip would take her about three to four hours. In my mind, I took for granted that all of them would follow Yani to her village.
Later in the evening, when Yani had returned to the hotel, Soni came to meet me telling me with his child like talked that there was a male spirit wearing black clothing in his world at Yani's village. He had smiled at him and beaconing to him to come near to him. Soni said that he had refused to go near that man because he was afraid of him.
The next day, Yani and I checked out from the hotel and took a taxi to Malang. There we checked into a good hotel and while having our meal at the hotel restaurant, Soni, Budi and Heru would come to eat together with me. They told me that they loved to spend most of their time swimming at the hotel swimming pool. And while staying there, we went to a discotheque in that hotel every night.
In Malang, Margarita mentioned to me that Gordon, Jean, Ricky, Budi, Soni and Heru, loved to Trishaw rides and eating the barbeque corns. And in Malang, Margarita informed me that Mas Anton met a spirit that was Black and she was like Mas Anton's companion. They did not tell me about the entity's origin.
Lek Mim agreed to come and lived with us in Bali. We were in Malang for about a week.
I would like to mention an incidence in this hotel at Malang. One evening, two days before we checked out from the hotel, I noticed about Rp100000 was missing from my wallet. I had always kept track of the amount of money in my wallet. So I asked Yani whether she had taken the money from my wallet. She said "No". I told her about the amount that was missing from my wallet. I was also thinking very hard whether I had used the money but I checked every bills and cash that I had spend. I knew very clearly that I was supposed to have so much cash balance in my wallet after deducting all the expenses. Yani was also puzzled with the missing cash. I told Yani that with this missing amount, we would have shortage of cash for our trip back to Bali. Even with Yani's cash from her wallet, it would not be sufficient for our fares. So we decided to go to the bank tomorrow morning.
That night Margarita came to meet me. I told her about the missing cash from my wallet and the cash shortage for the fares if I did not withdraw some cash from the bank tomorrow morning. This what she told me, "Mas, I can give you the cash but it's not my cash. It's a loan from someone else and later when you have the cash, you must return it. You can use this cash from our world but when it's midnight, this cash will turn into ashes. It's not good for you to use this cash to pay your bills because the cashier that receives this cash would be blame for the money that is loss." I was thinking about what she had told me then she asked me to take out my bankbook. I was wondering why she had instructed me to do that.
We were sitting on the bed and my bankbook was inside my bag, which was on the floor about one metre away from the bed. I took my bag to the bed and took out my bankbook to show it to her. She saw it but she did not touch it and she did not even want to see the content of my bankbook. Then she told me to put it back inside my bag. After that I put back the bag to the same original place earlier on, about one metre away from the bed. She was silent for about a few seconds and then she instructed me to look inside my bankbook whether there was anything inside it. I went to the bag again and took out my bankbook again to see whether there was anything inside it. I said there was nothing. She told me to look inside the bankbook carefully again. I followed her instruction and look inside the bankbook very carefully but there was nothing inside it. I told her that there was nothing inside it. She told me to put back the bankbook inside the bag again and I placed the bag on the floor. I sat on the bed facing her. We talked for awhile and then she instructed me again to look inside the bankbook again. I picked up my bag from the floor, took out my bankbook, then when I flipped open my bankbook, I was so surprised to see there was solid hard cash inside my bankbook. The cash was very new and it was in Rp20000 currency notes. There were five pieces of it, the exact amount of Rp100000 that was missing from my wallet earlier on. I was very, very shocked and confused about the materialisation of the Rp100000 hard cash in my bankbook. How she did that? She smiled at me and then left Yani's body but Budi came to meet me crying.
Budi was crying when he said this to me, "Om, please forgive Budi. I've stolen the money from Om's because I've no money to buy for my own airfare ticket to Bali. I don't want to trouble or burden them with my expenses anymore." I was not angry with Budi because I was still in a state of surprised about the materialisation of the hard cash in my bankbook. I told Budi not to repeat that bad action again and if he needed cash or anything, he should ask me and I would be glad to give him.
The next day Yani and I went to the bank and withdrew some more cash, just in case we needed it for emergency. The day after we checked out from the hotel, we took a taxi from Malang to the airport in Surabaya and bought airflight tickets to Bali. There were no incident of cash shortages.
This incidence would be indelible to me for the rest of my life. It was something I saw and experienced without any doubts because I was wide-awake and I was not drunk or hallucinating or possessed by them.
